To say DH can’t see female friends alone?

[Namechange2764]

DH has some female friends I feel he is too friendly with. WIBU to say he can only see them in a group situation with others not one to one?

Controlling

Hire a chaperone.🙄

Both DH and I have friends of the opposite sex. Always have done. Neither of us have a problem with the other one meeting a friend for dinner or a drink or whatever.
The thought of not allowing my DH to meet a female friend alone is mind boggling to me. He's a middle aged professor, not a naughty school boy!
Does anyone really think this would work anyway?! You tell your partner they're not allowed but they want to anyway so they lie and say they're meeting a male friend. They see you as a controlling, unreasonable person and start to resent you. If you dont trust him enough to be alone in a restaurant with a female friend why are with him? If a man (or a woman) wants to cheat, they'll cheat. They won't ask for your permission, they'll sneak around and lie.

Players will cheat regardless, true but perfectly loyal men and women can be sucked into an affair gradually over time - familiarity, surroundings all play a part.

Also, if there's alcohol involved they may talk about things they really should not.

I disagree. I have a very good male friend who I've known longer than DH. We've been friends when we were both single, and when one or both of us were in a relationship.
We've had years of familiarity, occasions with alcohol, and never once has anything even remotely flirtatious happened. I'm not going to have an affair by accident because I get sucked in without noticing.

I don't think "perfectly loyal" people get sucked into affairs by accident. I think thats what people who want to control their partner's friendships believe. And what people who cheat tell themselves to make themselves feel better about being a cheat. If they end up cheating, they were never perfectly loyal in the first place.

Familiarity breeds contempt. The longer a platonic friendship has existed the less likely it is to become something else.

My DH has several female friends, all of whom he sees socially. I have no problem whatsoever with this.

Likewise, I have several male friends. My DH is absolutely fine with this as he knows he has nothing to worry about. However, if he was to start dictating to me who he was allowing me to be friends with he'd be out of the door.

A controlling relationship is never healthy.

I have a male friend I've known since we were young. We have lunch and coffee together without his partner regularly, and never have I wanted to sleep him. If we had wanted that, there would have been ample opportunity when he was single.

If a man (or a woman) wants to cheat, they'll cheat. They won't ask for your permission, they'll sneak around and lie.

Well this is the truth of it. Less likely with long term friendships.

However if you know there are fine cracks in your relationship and your partner is finding new friends I think it's understandable to be worried. I mean you just have to look at the marriages around you. How many end with one person or another going off with someone else and how many just split up with no one else involved.

However if you know there are fine cracks in your relationship and your partner is finding new friends I think it's understandable to be worried.

I agree. But banning them from seeing them isn't going to solve any of the problems. It's just papering over the problem.

Do you think it's unreasonable for him to ask you the reverse?

I think the problem is about emotional fidelity. Which is a far grainier territory than 'fucking'. For example, my best friend's wife was convinced that I still fancied her husband (my best friend) & extrapolated that into endless fantasies in her own head about me & him when HONESTLY neither of us fancied each other AT ALL. Nonetheless she achieved total domination LOL! Yet I will admit that me & my ex-bestie were incredibly emotionally close, so a part of me fully gets why she would have wanted to fuck that up in order to end it.

If you feel like this the relationship is over. Get out now.