To say DH can’t see female friends alone?

[Namechange2764]

DH has some female friends I feel he is too friendly with. WIBU to say he can only see them in a group situation with others not one to one?

YABU - total madness, I recently went for drinks with someone from work (husband totally trusts me and I him, he dropped me off and picked me up and I had a good old chat when I got home about all interesting things chatted about). I would be utterly furious and devastated if DH dictated who I could couldn’t meet as friends. We have been together for almost 30 years though and no reason not to trust each other.

Id be more worried about why he's being too friendly with them. He needs to learn some boundaries or fk off if he'd rather be with one of them.

But do you think you wouldn't have got burned if you'd said "you are not allowed to see them alone"?

Would that have helped? Made the relationship better?

I expect my DH not to cheat, and I expect to not have to manage his relationships in an attempt to decrease the chance he does.

YABU. Why do you feel this way?

The question you should be asking is whether or not yabu for not trusting him.

And if yanbu for not trusting him, why are you still with him?

I expect my DH not to cheat, and I expect to not have to manage his relationships in an attempt to decrease the chance he does.

Precisely this.

I don’t remain faithful because my DH polices my friendships - I do so because I want to.

YABU and would be more effective deal with whatever is causing you to police who he spends time with. Not saying your feelings are unjustified, I don’t know the situation, but if the relationship is in a place where you can’t spend individual time with the opposite sex there are issues to address and work through, rather than breeding more toxicity.

Are you going to tell us the back story to this one? Because on the face of it, you're being very unreasonable!!

YABVU. Either you trust him or you don't. If you actually know that he has done anything inappropriate with these women, then you should surely be questioning your relationship rather than trying to control his friendships. If not, then you are being controlling.

Why are you with someone you trust so little?

He obviously wants to shag them all, why else would he have female friends.

Either you trust him or you don’t.

If you don’t, there are greater problems in the relationship than his female friendships.

That's not how marriage works, so YABU. How would you feel if he tried to tell you who you could see?

YABU. And if you don't trust him enough to spend time with females alone then there's bigger issues going on here then whether you are being reasonable saying he can't 🤷🏼‍♀️🤨

If my DH said I couldn't see male friends alone I'd tell him to go and raffle himself.

Equally I've have no wish to control him either.

YABU

My best friend is male and we are alone all the time.

Why don't you trust him? This needs more context.

I depends really. Have you got reason not to trust him? To be fair, I'm 67 and have worked with/known dozens of men from different demographics over the years. What I've observed is that most of them would shag another woman without hesitation given the opportunity. So there is that.

either he is too friendly with them, in which case banning him isn't goign to stop him. Or he's not too friendly snd you are just paranoid.

Define "too friendly"

It depends on what he's doing that's 'too friendly', in my opinion, as well as the history with these friends (how long he's known them, if there's been any romantic inclinations between them, etc).

I understand not being comfortable with your husband spending a lot of time one-on-one with other women, especially if he's flirtatious with them. I'd find that disrespectful and wouldn't accept it happily, but if he's the sort to want to flirt and become emotionally involved with his female friends, there's only so much you can do to stop him. Explain your feelings, ask him to agree to certain boundaries out of respect and care for you, and go from there.

YABVU. It’s never OK to control a partner’s friendships.

YABU!

If you can't trust him then the marriage is over.

They took advantage of my naivety trust. I was accused of being jealous one time as a close female friend was gyrating up and down my boyfriend's leg at a club. One close female friend would sit between us if we were out together and hold hands with my boyfriend and I was accused of not trusting him if I said anything and called paranoid.

They were doing it in front of my face while I put up with it like a numptey thinking I was cool. Like I said, the OP might not be unreasonable, it depends on what her boyfriend is doing.

Unless be ends up shagging them all everytime he sees them. Yes YABU.

Clearly a divisive one but it wouldn't be acceptable to me if my DH went to hang out at a female friends house 1:2:1. That said, neither of us have close friends of the opposite sex so the conversation has never come up. If he were to grow close to another woman and wanted to start spending time alone with her, I'd find it a bit weird frankly!