To have a 'cut-off' for breakfast

[DominiqueBernard]

Last night, the DC (12 and 11) went to bed at 9pm to read then lights out at 9.30pm as usual at weekends. We had said we would go to Mass this morning at 9.30am.

At 9am DS11, DH and I were all awake and had eaten breakfast and got dressed. DD12 was still asleep so we decided not to wake her and we went to Mass at 9.20am, leaving her a note. We got back at about 10.45am and she was still asleep. She woke up at 11.45am. She came into the kitchen where DH, DS and I were preparing lunch. We had cleared away her breakfast place to make room (our kitchen diner is small). She helped herself to a glass of juice and then DH said, lunch is at 12.30pm, implying that she could wait until then to eat. I agreed with DH and still do.

However, I wonder if others might say we were being mean?

If it's relevant, we come from a culture where it's very unusual to eat between meals.

This is what I said to DD. She now has a days worth of calories to make up.

Put your foot down OP. No, you are not "batshit"

I take it you are asking if you are mean because she complained that she was bloody starving because she hadn't eaten for 16-18 hours! I think you know damn well that it was mean. She could have had a small snack before lunch to tide her over. The rigidity of your bedtimes, meal times and just general day to day life sound suffocating. So much so that I'm amazed you actually let her sleep in and miss mass

Well I’m surprised at a 12 year old being willing to go to bed at 9pm “with lights out at 9.30”. That’s the part that sounds controlling to me. Good luck with the teenage years.

i am guessing that this is a very rare occurrence

I agree with this and and it’s exactly what I’ve always said to my kids if they’ve got up so close to lunchtime.

This

I don't see a problem as lunch was very soon. In my culture we tend to eat lunch a bit later than that, but as it's 12.30 in your culture then she'd not have to wait long.

If it's s kitchen diner it can't be that small.
I have a small galley style kitchen certainly no room for a table or to eat I it. . But I could easily make space for a 12 year old to get some cereal, toast and a drink while I was making lunch.

The only time I could get excited about breakfast is if we’re in a hotel and we’ve paid for breakfast. I did tell my kids if they didn’t get up, we wouldn’t be buying extra if they were hungry. Otherwise if she’s hungry, why can’t she have something?

But after cereal, toast and a drink she would have no appetite for lunch with the family.

Definitely better to just wait for lunch.

😅😅😅

She didn’t ask for cereal or toast though did she? There’s nothing in the OP to suggest she wasn’t just perfectly happy to wait for lunch.

Obviously only if she wanted it!

So she’s not allowed to eat after being asleep for many hours because it was nearly lunch time? I personally wouldn’t agree to such stric t, controlled meal times. Why couldn’t she have something small?

I think OP would be getting some radically different replies if she'd said the family had planned to go swimming at 9.30, were already back and preparing lunch when the 12yo surfaced.

Eh? Why? My answer had nothing to do with where the rest of the family had spent their morning.

All this talking of her being allowed cereal or toast to 'tide her over'. Baffling. It's 45 minutes. She's not a baby who doesn't understand the concept of waiting.

Making a two month old baby wait 45 minutes for their bottle 'just because' would be cruel. Making a 12 year old wait 45 minutes before a cooked lunch and not allowing them to eat in the immediate run up to that is just totally normal.

I think this thread has been the biggest eye opener to me as to why so many people (and kids) are overweight now. Bonkers.

All these people saying it is "batshit" to expect a 12 year old to wait half an hour for a family meal - do you live like this?
Do you live in houses where people are constantly roaming about rummaging in fridges and cupboards for food which requre no preparation, and then eating them by themselves?
Are you constantly arriving in the kitchen to find it covered in crumbs and packets and things left near (not in) the dishasher, or do they all clear up properly?
what happens if you want to eat something nice, like a roast chicken, that takes a couple of hours? Do you make it for yourself and share it with anyone who happens not to have just eaten a pot noodle, and wait and see who that might be? Or do you put out a special announcement to halt grazing in time for a thing called a Meal?
how do you leave the house and do anything together if some people are going to get hungry and others are not because they have been eating toast and cereal up to the minute they left the house?
what about nutrition? Does it bother you that you might be making say, chicken and vegetables, but no one else is going to eat any because they can't wait half an hour so they only eat cereal?
Or do you not even eat real food yourself?

I think it was fine to say 'lunch is at 12.30', because that then gives her room to say 'but I'm starving' at which point you can point her to toast or cereal or whatever, If a kid's really hungry, a small snack won't 'spoil' their lunch.

If she said nothing, she probably wasn't hungry.

If she said she was hungry and she was shooed away, yeah, that's a bit mean. 'Not eating between meals' in your culture means nothing in this situation as she hadn't had her breakfast yet.

But either way, it's not a big deal as she only had to wait 3/4 of an hour.

what on earth are you whittling on about?

The only impact fact the Op had returned from mass is that it doesn’t exactly seem in keeping with Jesus feeding the 5000!

Strikes me as odd that you'd be so rigid re bed time and meal times yet you'd let her sleep in as long as she wants.

Mind you it also strikes me as odd people drag their kids off to mass on a Sunday morning, but that's another matter.

I remember trying to prepare scrambled egg at that time when my dad was cooking Christmas Dinner and he told me he would not do the Christmas meal if I wanted to start cooking breakfast so late.

I think it would be mean to ban them from eating but you were only asking them to wait 45mins and presumably the juice would put them on without spoiling lunch.

Yeah, I don't get that either????

Exactly this. Mind boggling.

WHY would you cook a healthy meal for the family and then allow a child to wander in and partially fill up on cereal or toast just before it?

I'm so so surprised at the amount of posters that seem to have no problem with their kids living like this.

WTF lol oh you want everyone to pile on because they went to mass and you love a good thread where the religious people get told they are ridiculous for believing in such nonsense. I am an atheist and I don't believe in any gods and the fact that they went to mass is irrelevant and has got fuck all to do with anything lol you sound like a shit stirrer tbh