To leave partner over this?

[chelseaflower008]

Basically my "partner" has a sleep condition where he will just fall asleep, he refuses to go to the doctors for a formal diagnosis as he believe he won't be able to work/drive.

I do 90% of our child's care but partner does give me money every month.

Lately I have been feeling so exhausted with my son teething etc and I have asked him to go to the doctors as I am really struggling doing everything.

Instead he books a holiday for three days with his cousin and he came back on Friday and he promised me that he would look after our son today all day, but his cousin has called him and he has gone to meet him.

I cried that I need more help and to put me and our son first.
He wasn't interested.

When I talk about moving closer to family as I can't cope and very close to being pre diabetic (has GD in pregnancy) he says "I am taking his son away from him."

I really don't know what to do.
I really feel like just going to my parents.

He just refuses to help me and I am really struggling

Go to your parents, be safe, get some sleep, you will be happier.

You need to start your own thread.

Leave that pitiful waste of space and get the help you need

@chelseaflower008 let us know once you have arrived at your parents and had a bath!

Make sure to take screenshots of those WhatsApp messages and email them to an email address he doesn't have access to ASAP. Best of luck.

Sorry yes, it’s my first ever post and I didn’t realise ‘add post’ meant to add one on to here and I couldn’t find how to delete my comment once I’d realised and figured it out - sorry all 🙈

Do report him and keep a record of doing this. When he threatens to take you to court for access to his son simply say you are concerned about your son’s safety due to his condition and you will want a doctors letter to say this has been investigated and treated before you will agree to hand your son over. You can string this out for ages and no judge will be able to say that you’ve been unreasonable not to let him have the child, if it comes to that.

So sorry about your situation OP. But if he does report you to Social Services that would be good as I doubt they would listen to him as he is the one endangering your son! He sounds nasty, get out now please.

I agree you should leave - do what's best for you & your baby as a priority. You've tried & tried with him about everything and he refuses to co-operate for all your sakes. Whether he's ill or not he's prioritising his needs only and sod you & your son. The final straw for me would have been 'you shouldn't have got pregnant' - I suppose he's in no way responsible for that either - so basically it's all your fault - what a dick.

I went through similar - tried everything to make him behave like my idea of a loving husband & daddy should but realised not long after DD was born that he had zilch interest whatsoever. She was planned - I think it was the idea of getting regular sex that tipped the scales for him but I never realised that til months later. We left him when she was almost 4 years old and throughout the 15 years since he's treat her like an inconvenience and really doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. People like that aren't father material - dump the loser and go where you'll be loved and supported, don't look back xx

Leave. Now. Things will get better after you have. Go somewhere safe.

It’s v odd that he’s putting his cousin ahead of you and your understandable needs. From experience, perhaps it’s not his cousin he is seeing? You need to tell him straight with an ultimatum but try and get him to leave ahead of yourself.

Hi
So I have arrived at my parents this morning, when we went to his new job I text my sister to come and pick me up.

We spoke yesterday about the issues and he just seems very resentful that he is unable to see his cousin and do things as he used to before we had a baby.

For example it's his cousins birthday next month and he is going away with their mates and ex told me "I know I won't be able to go for obvious reasons".

Him and his cousin are extremely close and used to see head other every weekend before baby was born.
His cousin himself is a terrible father and never see's his kids.

He really is selfish and I told him that his son will see for himself who put him first when he grows up and it's certainly not you.
He is a lazy parent as well, if it weren't for me my son would be stuck in a cot all day.

It really was the best choice to leave and I already feel a lot better in myself.
I will also be reporting him to the DVLA today, he still had not booked a GP appointment.

That's GREAT news OP! I'm really proud of you for putting your plan into action, and also pleased to hear, that you're already feeling the benefits of getting rid of him. There are bound to be the odd wobbles, where you wonder if you did the right thing, but just remember that this man is happy to go out and risk other people's lives, simply because he's too lazy and pathetic to see the doctor. It's time for him to grow up, and be a man, rather than acting like a silly teenager with no responsibilities. Good luck for a wonderful future without him.

@chelseaflower008 well done you, it can’t be easy but hopefully it sounds like you have lots of support around to get you through this

He wants to live a single life and now he can. He'll do fuck all and make out that he's dad of the year on Facebook. Then you'll be painted as the villain that stopped him seeing his kid all while choosing to do nothing. He's a lazy waste of a space man child.

Pleas follow through on reporting him to the DVLA. I’d creep back and take the car keys when he’s not there. We had to for my mil when she had absent seizures. She could have killed someone, let alone herself. I think you’re doing absolutely the right thing.

I’m so pleased to read this update. Good luck!

Did he come home and realise you were gone on Monday or did you send him a message before he got home to let him know?

Asking as curious to know his reaction, it's been a couple of days, how is he responding to you walking out?

It can be telling after the fact, how they behave, and give more away into their mindset.

@curiouslycoy
We went on Monday when he went to start his new job.

He keeps calling and texting me non stop trying to be all nice and trying to manipulate me into coming back.

It's not working as I see straight through him as I haven been here so many times with him.

It felt amazing to sleep for a day and not recharge my batteries.

Well done for leaving that shit bag!
You and your son will have a much better life without him.

You need to leave. This is not how a relationship works it's all about him by the sounds of it. He's obviously aware what the issues are and choosing not to get help to support you better. You are not happy. Life is too short. Put yourself first.
Edit. Well done for leaving just read that. Go be happy girl.

@chelseaflower008 I hope you are safe and feeling better. Please stay safe.