DH is eating cereal and I want to kill him

[annonymousse]

Obviously this is lighthearted but jeez the crunching and slurping is unreal.

I feel your pain if my hubby dares to try talk to me when he's got an mouthful of food again, I'm digging up the patio and he is going in it.

My husband has MS and cannot now feed himself cereal, I do it instead.

Just be happy you don't have to do that.

My DH is a noisy eater but there's other things going on that make me suspect he has an airway issue of some description. Still drives me mad!

I know it's light-hearted, but also a bit sad.
I've been married for 20 years and don't notice this or similar about husband. He must have tons of bad habits of this sort!
But how well preserved I feel at 45 yo for cutting this stuff out! 😁 (No kids here).
Mind you, sometimes I call him "A burial place of beefsteaks", for his love of this food.

My DH slaps the spoon against his teeth too. I have to leave the room.

I had to check that I hadn’t started this thread myself! Wait. Is this me? 🤣

I don't even notice these things, which probably means I'm a perpetrator. I'll happily keep you company without flinching while you chew your soup, crunch your mashed potatoes, deconstruct your Mars Bar and lick the orange stuff off your smelly crisps before nibbling them like a hamster,

I no longer have a H to be annoyed by. But I was listening to a podcast the other day, when the male host slurped his coffee and smacked his lips before speaking. God I had to turn it off, it made me so disgusted and furious!

I’m with you on this. My DH slurps and chomps and when he drinks he takes a mouthful and swishes it round in his mouth like mouthwash. Worst of all though, when he eats he lowers his face halfway to the plate instead of lifting the fork up. I have to look away. I need more wine.

Tea slurping too! I have to put a podcast on to mask it, otherwise I would not be able to control my rage. I tell myself I should copy him and wait for him to comment, then let rip, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

Scraping every last morsel of peanut butter out of the jar and licking it off the knife.

What a way to start the day.

I had a boyfriend who couldn't stand the sound of me drinking tea, and used to get super angry. He knocked a cup out of my hand once in my own kitchen. It went everywhere That was it, I dumped him. I don't think either of us had heard of misophonia. Life must be hard for people with that condition.

Omg this is soo relatable.
DH drives me mad doing this, even worse he gets up earlier than me and insists on eating his cereal sitting on a chair in our bedroom as he likes he view from the window.
I made the error of buying cereal bowls with swirls/ ridges in the pottery so he scraps the spoon up the ridges inside the bowl then he hits the spoon against his teeth then he slurps then he crunches and repeat - is this grounds for divorce??

My DH does this. He also sucks his fingers when he's watching TV or on his phone. There's a squeaky noise when he takes his fingers out of his mouth.
If he has peanuts or crisps he makes an awful sucky smacky noise when he licks his fingers.

I have one of these! ☹️

Slopgobbing humans foul my mood as do those who sniff loudly instead of blowing their nose!!!😡

DH slurps, catches his teeth with spoon, puts too much on so things plop back into bowl, crunches too loudly, Clangs the bowl and scrapes it rapidly, he also slurps drinks. I eat my breakfast elsewhere when possible. 😂 Generally he eats noisily and frequently tries to speak with food in his mouth. Drives me and the kids mad!!!😡

We pull him up on it and he will be better for a minute or two but always reverts.
It’s only comfortable being around his eating when there is background noise to drown him out.

At least he chews with his mouth shut and does the washing up. 😂

I feel ya ! My husband too has terrible eating habits like this plus talking with mouth full of food constantly. I put my annoyance down to misophonia (google it) as I have the same problem/ick with anyone doing this not just him

No, talking with mouth full is a normal thing to find irritating, and something you're supposed to learn not to do as a young child. You are perfectly justified with this.

This is why I stopped serving soup. DH could slurp a hardboiled egg.

Same! Whoever does it, doesn’t have to be DH 🤣😂

THIS!!!! It drives me mad that I have to listen to DH munching on his (too hot) porridge and slurping his stinky coffee in bed while I’m in the bedroom trying to get ready for work - I literally want to scream!!!! How do we stop this !!!????

Isn't that how it's supposed to be eaten? There's another way? No wonder a box of cereal lasts two years in this house.....😆😉

No way!! I thought it was just mine that did that!! (Plus his dad). Absolutely drives me potty.

I'll add to the mix the EXTREMELY loud breathing through his nose while he eats. I can't hear anyone else breathing, because they're girls. He's there breathing in and out of his nose noisily like he's doing some kind of extreme yoga 😡😡

Oh God yes this as well. Just wash your hands like a normal person!!!!

Mine too! I was laughing so hard there for a minute, I couldn't get my breath. My DH came into the room and I informed him that he must have been cloned, and his clones have married women across the US and Europe.

It's really the worst when he is eating salad. I try SO hard not to let it bother me. After all, it's been happening for 46+ years. But, it's only really bothered me to death since I hit 45 a few decades ago. I just cringe and try to hold my tongue as often as possible (not often enough, according to him). He chews SO loudly and the metal fork against the glass plate.....! I am sure I could hear it in the next town over.

Well, of course we are!

"I am woman, hear me snore,
decibels too high to ignore,
But he knows me well,
and so he still pretends...."

Someone can do the rest of the verse and add on. 😆