DH is eating cereal and I want to kill him

[annonymousse]

Obviously this is lighthearted but jeez the crunching and slurping is unreal.

@TutiFrutti yes, this too- I thought mine was the only one that does this. He's currently eating watermelon loudly and mmmming away. Drives me mad!

Well, based on a very recent spider thread, Eat The Bastard! 😅

Omg! Same when my mother (only my mother bizarrely) eats apples I genuinely want to commit a heinous crime!

You have my sympathy OP. DH does the same. It drives me nuts.

Yet another reason to rejoice in my single status.

I used to have to make an excuse to leave the room when XH was eating anything really.

My 'D'H too. He's either crunching very loudly, making washing machine sounds or smacking his lips. He accompanies this with tapping the plate/bowl with spoon/knife about 15 times per mouthful.

Whilst it is definitely git worse recently I'm not putting the irritation down to my perimenopause as it drives my teenage son mad too - we can hear him from another room!

My parents always seem to have a radio blaring during mealtimes. I wonder if this is because one of them is a slurped - or perhaps they always knew my husband was a slurped and uts taken time for me to catch up.

THIS!!!!😡 how hard is it to not bang the side of the bowl! And cutlery scraping

What gets me aswell is when they make a cup of tea and it's exactly the same clanging the spoon all around the cup😡 you don't need to make all that fucking racket to make a cup of tea 😤

DH crunching nuts has me fantasising about hitting him over the head with a frying pan.
I have to leave the room.
Don't get me started on the throat clearing...

The perimenopause makes a lot of sense. You’ve described how I feel perfectly. I’ve been married 15 years and it’s only in the last few years that it has irritated the absolute living sh*t out of me. We WHF at desks beside each other. If he decides to eat lunch at his desk, I need to leave the room. Even him drinking coffee annoys me now. I can hear the swallowing/gulping noise. I should thank my lucky stars DH doesn’t slurp his coffee like my Dad does. I cannot be in the same room as that.

It’s kind of comforting to know I’m not alone with these feelings. I know I’m being unreasonable but I cannot help it.

Slurping oranges 😡

The other day mine was using a toothpick standing right behind me it was so loud in my ear it took everything i had not to whip it out of his hand and stab him in the forehead with it!

Urgh. Yes. I have to go out of the room if DH is eating cereal or fruit because of the sounds he makes. I'm definitely not perimenopausal. It's just gross.

He also started stabbing at his food like a caveman and dropping bits out of his mouth while eating at one point (just like his dad...) so I started doing the same thing. He was appalled and hasn't done it since 😂

I see your cereal and raise you a yoghurt.

And that’s after the stirring of the sweetener into the coffee, and the slurping and gulping taking the pills with said coffee. With an annoying head jerk added into the mix.

🤬🤬🤬

Yup. Never puts the spoon in his mouth, just sort of hoover / slurps the food off it into the food vacuum / mouth where half-chewed food is still churning around, like a concrete mixer. Then starts talking to me… I can’t look or listen! Just shut up!

Me & my DH lasted one day both WFH in the same room, I moved to the spare room and made myself an office, I couldn’t stand it!

My dad does this with tea that’s clearly too hot, kind of sucks it into his mouth - I love my dad but I’ve stopped offering him cups of tea 😩

Also, eating fruit. First time I saw him eating melon, he let the juices drip down his face & t-shirt, toddler-style. Now he slurps it in, which is just as bad, now I think if it… Not sure how I eat fruit, but it’s not any of these ways, I’m certain of that.

This thread is brilliant! Seriously, I was thinking I was just a nasty person who couldn’t bear the sounds of husband eating and had violent thoughts!
Scraping the yoghurt pot is one of many irritants.

Oh I’m so glad it’s not just me! I thought I must be terrifically intolerant and sensitive but thank goodness others feel the same.
I also have to leave the room when he eats his cereal. He stuffs his mouth so full, and clanks the spoon on the bowl, and his teeth. Horrible.

Eating an apple too…he sticks his teeth into the flesh quite violently, then rips out the mouthful, juice flicking around the place. Disgusting.

And drinking coffee… he sip, sip, sips, then gulps and downs the lot very quickly, then hugs the mug and stares into it in case there’s any more he’s missed… absolutely bonkers.

Yeah i do this

There is a whole thread on 'spiders' hurumph, and how to deal with them.
Just saying...

I always have music on at mealtimes for this reason.

He has no idea how many times he has been close to death.

I also have to leave the room. Cereal is the worst but for most things now.