DH is eating cereal and I want to kill him

[annonymousse]

Obviously this is lighthearted but jeez the crunching and slurping is unreal.

Even some of the comments here are bringing up the anger in me 😭 spoon clanging and mouth sounds 😡 I'm off to Google loop earplugs!

Mine brushes his teeth with a huge amount of toothpaste, then follows me around talking through the tooth brushing. It’s beyond awful

It's pot noodle type things with DH. He loves them but always insists on eating them when they're still too hot so all I hear is him blowing three times on each forkful before he slurps and chomps the noodles. He always buys ones that absolutely stink too.

Translate this to your boss eating cereal at the desk next to you every day you're in work. It's not only crunching and slurping, it's the banging the fucking spoon against the china 10,000 times per breakfast! And you can't say "sorry boss, I want to work at home 4 days a week instead of 2 days a week because of the constant noise you make when eating".

DP is slurping his way through a mystery meat curry and chips.

The fist of death is tingling.

Can I steal the phrase ‘fist of death’ ? I absolutely love it !!

Use it wisely.

Slightly derailing but I found that thread really disturbing. Do you know why ? It wasn’t the fact that the female ate her mate, but the fact that it signalled mating. So now the OP can look forward to a nest full of baby spiders, all running around the room. Makes my skin crawl !!

Oh my god. The sound of my husband chewing.

He chews soup like it's fucking cement.

I will, thank you.😂

OMG. When my partner bites into an apple he kind of sucks the juice before he bites right the way through. It’s a sucking, slurping sound, followed by a sort of strangled swallowing sound. Makes me feel stabby !!

Not to mention the scraping of every last bit of gravy off the plate with a knife, and the associated slurping sounds !!

Ah my people (waiting for asd assessment...)

DP was drinking (clearly far too hot) tea this morning, I kid you not I thought there was a tap running.

DP can never wait for food to cool down.

The noises he makes as he attempts to eat and not let the food touch any part of his mouth are indescribable.

Oh my god, it's salad for me. I actually could murder him - I have to leave the room.

My exMIL did this the one and only time I went on holiday with her, it was horrendous.

Also making a huge amount of noise going to the loo in the night but not flushing so she didn't wake us !!!

It's the incessant clonking of the spoon against the bowl that gives me the rage.

Also when DH has a packet of crisps or a bar of chocolate, he has to fold the VERY CRACKLEY wrapper into the tiniest square he can.
The thing is he doesn't realise he is doing it, until I pull him up on it. The misophonia is strong in me.

Are you menopausal or peri-menopausal? Same happened to me and didn't get better til I was on HRT! Xx

Would that make you a cereal killer?

<sorry, missed point of thread>

The thought of hearing slurping turns my stomach, typing the word was bad enough.

Toast. Chewed slowly and deliberately, resounding in the nasal atrium so loudly you’d think they’re a horse. Crisps. That hollow echoing sound as the mouth closes over each and every flake. Misphonia in spades. I feel your pain.

I’m really surprised this lasted four pages before this was said !! Well done, you win the internet for today !!

@FOJN

that won't happen, she was at a MN meet up!

😉

My ex used to sit at the computer in his bathrobe and Uggs with a glass of scotch and eat crunchy bran Os out of the box.
At 9 in the morning.
Christ what an asshole.
I’m sorry I opened this thread because now I’m pissed off all over again.