To be annoyed that I get glared at for having a blue badge

[Sparklebelle1024]

I try not to let it bother me but I’m young ( 35) and I have a blue badge because I have a few health problems which put me into the category of disabled and entitle me to pip and a blue badge. I do work (only part time as that’s a struggle but I do it for my own mental health but I think even that might have to go soon but I’m trying to last as long as I can) and almost every time I pull my car into the disabled spaces I get dirty looks and “badge checked” by the older generation and it’s ALWAYS older people !! It’s like younger folk can’t have disabilities!! Yet I can literally go from being okayish one day to hospitalised the next (I have a very understanding manager) and my car is a lifeline. I do try to brush it off but today I had a run in with an older man and he asked to see the photo on my badge to prove it was mine, I obviously told him he’s not entitled to that information and it’s not an elderly badge it’s a disabled badge and I cried when I was driving home.
it’s not fair…. I’m sick of being judged because I’m not “old” and don’t “look disabled” whatever that should look like. I know it shouldn’t bother me but it really genuinely does. So AIBU to be annoyed at being judged by the older generation because I use a badge I’m legally entitled to??

Well he should know better than to harass other disabled people- he has no entitlement to their medical details, and no greater right to a space than any other bb holder.

I'm the same. When DD was a baby I got daily abuse and was once hit with a walking stick and had my photo put on Facebook alongside false accusations of badge theft

This.

It’s disgusting isn’t it.

Im a disabled woman with a disabled child- I apparently should never have reproduced 🤷‍♀️.

How many times do I have to explain this.

Parking space is perpendicular to the road. You drive up to the car, your nose is where the boot of the parked car is. You see someone get out. You cannot see their windscreen from where you are. They look able bodied. You roll down your window and say “excuse me, do you realise that’s a BB space?”. They say “yes, I have a Blue badge” and you drive off to wait elsewhere til a BB comes free, or something along the lines of “”I’m just nipping in” at which point you explain that you have a BB and they either apologise and move or tell you to fuck off.

No, you are the one not understanding, and I can see from your subsequent posts, that fact remains the same. So I will take my leave from engaging with your posts.

Please see my previous post. Nobody is being harassed and nobody is suggesting any pecking order between BB holders other than “first come, first served”.

I also got screamed at by an elderly lady who said "How dare you take that space, I'm on Oxygen!" she knew I have a blue badge but decided she was more entitled to it. I said "I beg your pardon?! I have Parkinson's disease?!? I was there first, that's how it works, it's not top trumps"
She said "I don't care! I'm on oxygen so move your bloody car please"

I didn't.

If you are entitled to park there then there's no problem.

Yes there is !!
You should be ashamed of yourself.

You could be questioning someone who has:
Anxiety.
Autism.
Severe breathlessness.
Extreme fatigue.
Phobia of talking.
Fear of any confrontation.
Any kind of mental ill health.
Etc...

You questioning them could make them ill for the rest of the day.
You could be putting them off for future outings.

Stoo being so selfish and inconsiderate, bugger off and mind your own fucking business !!

If anyone ever questions me, I won't even answer. Why the hell should I?

If you are asking disabled people to prove they have a bb in ANY way beyond having it displayed on the dashboard then you are harassing disabled people.

I do not answer to you.

If you want to know if I have a badge then look at my dashboard.

Wow! Someone's got a chip..

Who said the member of the public who checks will always be able bodied? Surely BB holders are more likely to check that someone parking in a BB space is entitled to be there?

And should people (able bodied or not) not look out for others simply because they're able bodied (or not) for fear of offending the eternally offended?

Well said@Petitchat . These posters on here justifying such actions are part of the problem, and they just will not listen to what people are saying here. The person being called out could have spent all morning trying to get out of the house, only to be confronted by a nosey, busy body, doing more harm than they care to know of.

Fair point. But the OP appears to be offended that people even look at her dashboard! Only once did a cranky old man question her. Others simply look, and this is deemed offensive too.

Exactly.
If people want to be busy bodies they can look for badges in cars, but asking people questions because they don't "look disabled" is both ignorant and intrusive

It is annoying to be stared at through the windscreen repeatedly, but preferable to being harangued when trying to transfer in and out of the car.

Exactly. Standing for longer than I have to makes me ill. It makes me very ill rapidly. Stress makes my symptoms worse. And often I am unable to talk clearly, and if I talk too much I lose the ability to swallow.

So asking me does cause me harm. The fact the harm is invisible to you doesn't mean it isn't real

Or the eternally ill who don't feel well enough to be questioned?

Also, in what world is a disabled person who needs the space a “busybody”?

For the avoidance of doubt, I’ve never taken any interest in blue badge parking myself and I certainly would not challenge anyone. I was just explaining what my disabled brother told me about his experience with abuse of spaces, in order to illustrate that it’s unsurprising that problem get challenged because the abusers have created a climate of distrust.

If you don’t have a need yourself for the space perhaps you feel that giving people the benefit of the doubt is fine. But if you need the space you might not be so worried about potentially mistaking a disabled person for an able-bodied one.

I agree that able bodied people should keep their noses out.

She's right to be annoyed. People are looking because they think she "doesn't look disabled". Which is deeply ignorant.

What “right” is that and what enhanced “right” is it for disabled people?

Why are you not understanding that my brother can’t see your dashboard?

If you don’t have a need yourself for the space perhaps you feel that giving people the benefit of the doubt is fine. But if you need the space you might not be so worried about potentially mistaking a disabled person for an able-bodied one. but the people telling you it’s not ok DO have a need and are annoyed at your brothers behaviour.

When someone says to me but you don't look disabled, I simply say back and you don't look stupid but I guess we are nothing wrong.

I should be ashamed of myself??? Really?? For what?

Just for the record I have NEVER ever questioned anyone parking anywhere. Ever. As I mentioned I have a BB friend. 9/10 when we park in a BB space someone will take a moment to slow down to see us getting out of the car, to check the dashboard etc. Again I stress we both see this is a positive thing. Because I'd be fairly certain if we parked in a BB spot without displaying a BB we'd be reported. And rightly so.

I'd love if all the people who do look and question simply stopped and minded their own business like so many here think they should. People would quickly find out how available BB spaces are then when everybody turns a blind eye to everyone and anyone parking in them.

I don’t think they are actually.

Most people are saying that a person should not be questioned if you can see their blue badge. That is not what my brother is doing.