To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

[LookAtThatCritter]

I work from home and unfortunately the only space that we have available for my work station is in our bedroom. I know - it's a pain, but it is what it is. We don't have space for it in the living room/kitchen, and I need a room with a door that shuts anyway because I have a lot of client meetings & work with financials.

I just need the space during normal working hours, so if I work unreasonably early or late I'm totally fine with having someone else in the room and I try to be really quiet. But during normal working hours, I like to try and separate my work from home so I don't get distracted and can stay productive.

Sometimes my husband will wander in during the work day and start napping in the bed (which is what my desk faces). I find this really annoying and distracting, but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if this is okay. He only works part time right now and no night shifts or anything like that. It's not even the napping that's annoying me - but we have a sofa in the living room he could use. I just don't want someone sleeping in the same room I'm working.

Am I being a bitch, or am I justified to ask him to stop?? 😫

While you are working that space is your dedicated workspace, he wouldn’t visit you in an office and curl up for forty winks. If you are working and earning he needs to respect that and use the sofa for his naps, especially since you are dealing with clients confidential business .

Why would it come under a law? It’s company policy. I presume an office is specified in my contract as it wasn’t changed during covid but I can’t remember as it’s so old

If there’s address in my contract it’s now obsolete as we’ve moved offices since I joined

You're supposed to have privacy for clients and financials so I'd be telling your h so pack it in.

A friend of mine works for a bank from home. Her h left a phone hidden, recording, so he could record what she did and said all day. When she found out she had to report it and could have got into a lot of trouble. I think they took pity on her as he's a violent bully.

Clients in your bedroom?

The op doesn’t have much of a choice. She has a job that means working from home, she has a toddler and a husband (and his needs for a toddler-type nap) who need living space more than they need a bedroom during working hours. The master bedroom makes the most sense here with limited space.

Maybe get a double bed for the toddler that way they and the responsible adult caring for the child can have their much needed nap time together.

Has he got health issues? Why is he sleeping in the daytime?

Because according to MN a perfectly healthy person having a nap during the day is a totally normal event. I mean the man did do bits of housework and with a toddler in tow, sounds backbreaking work. Evidently he needed beddies for a couple of hours. I mean having his wife work in the room works extra well, she can take a five minutes break to tuck him in and read a story.

Well done OP!

It would be easier to get a camp-bed for the living room than a garden office, or rent a co-working space. (I'm amazed at the number of people who think that you might have that level of £££££ just lying around.)

I WFH when I can because my commute is £35 return at best and at least 90 minutes each way. So, I can't simply go into the office - our income depends on me WFH as often as possible.

I do know what it's like to have a partner follow me around the house when I'm working, keen to have random chats when the urge strikes him. As an earlier poster has suggested, it's something to do with territory, and also assuming that my work just isn't that important.

Besides that - it's a luxury to have your house be a 'home' for purely domestic work. The people who are saying 'but it's his home' are bananas. Throughout history people have done marking, meeting prep, had lodgers, taken in washing, done weaving at home or wherever - it's not the law that where you live is for leisure and rest only.

It would be great if so, but too many of us rely on making ends meet by working where we live.

My partner does occasionally seek out a 'nap' (horrid word) when it suits him, usually when he has lost self-control and worked well into the night on his projects - or gone out on the lash the day before. Or, he's binged at lunch and is having a sugar crash.

Either way, it reflects poor habits on his side. He's not a nightshift worker and he has no health conditions that justify it.

Isn't there an office to go to?

YABU. It's unfortunate that the bedroom is the only place where you can work, but it is his bedroom as well as yours - and he is the one using it for its intended purpose. If he's napping he can hardly be disturbing you.

How can you not find somewhere else to set up your work station? Don't you have another bedroom?

I can see this from both sides. He's working too and wants a nap on his time off. Assuming there's not a backstory of him being a lazy twat, I think it's unfair that he can't access his private space during the day. You really, really need to address where you work. There MUST be something else you can do.

Exactly. So many of those threads. It's a bedroom in a house I'm guessing he helps pay for. You can ask him to nap on the sofa, but it's nonsense to think you can reasonably lock him out.

You're so lucky you struggle to understand that. Some people have medical conditions. Sometimes I need a ten minute 'nap' to recharge so I can be as productive the rest of the day as I am in the morning.. Power napping is a thing and has a lot of benefits even for those without medical conditions.

When working from home starts to interfere with normal life, it's time to go back to the office.

Someone napping anywhere in their own home would bug you.

What's wrong with you?

I don’t get why grown adults generally need to have a nap in the day tbh.
@ContentSolitude - medical conditions excluded obv!

Firstly yanbu he can nap on the sofa secondly why do I have an image of you doing video calls and your husband is in the background tucked up in bed sleeping with an eyemask on 🤣🤣

Of course, the average mumsnet husband can’t wait to strip an remake the beds. This one can’t even stay awake.

I'm a grown woman who doesn't work full time and am always asleep. I often have days where i usually have a 2 hr nap in the morning and then a 3 hour nap in the afternoon then a 10-12 hr sleep at night their are days where I'm not awake for more then 3 hrs at a time. Unfortunately this is the reality of medication, mental illness and chronic physical conditions.

I feel great when I realise it's been a while since I needed a nap (which is only about 10 minutes anyway). It's definitely not every day. When I do need it though, the flip side of that is that I won't be as productive and will crash by evening, so I really do get more out of the ten minutes of time out than I lose.

My bedroom is an area where a lot goes on, so someone working from there wouldn't work. I need to access things during the day. My DH's working from home was causing a lot of problems for multiple people, so he's back at the office now. Everyone is happier.

🤣🤣🤣

From what I've read, I don't think the average DH on here strips and changes beds at all.

He's a fucking adult of working age, why is he napping during tne day? Isn't there ironing that needs doing, or something?

No they wouldn't. You're being ridiculous.

I'd tell him to sleep on the sofa or spare room if you have one, as you find it distracting