To ask my husband not to nap while I'm working

[LookAtThatCritter]

I work from home and unfortunately the only space that we have available for my work station is in our bedroom. I know - it's a pain, but it is what it is. We don't have space for it in the living room/kitchen, and I need a room with a door that shuts anyway because I have a lot of client meetings & work with financials.

I just need the space during normal working hours, so if I work unreasonably early or late I'm totally fine with having someone else in the room and I try to be really quiet. But during normal working hours, I like to try and separate my work from home so I don't get distracted and can stay productive.

Sometimes my husband will wander in during the work day and start napping in the bed (which is what my desk faces). I find this really annoying and distracting, but I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or if this is okay. He only works part time right now and no night shifts or anything like that. It's not even the napping that's annoying me - but we have a sofa in the living room he could use. I just don't want someone sleeping in the same room I'm working.

Am I being a bitch, or am I justified to ask him to stop?? 😫

I disagree.....its called work life balance......

Tough one.
To have to resort to a bedroom is unfortunate
and rightly annoying to the OP.
On the other side, without raging at the husband, where should he nap - by the chimney?
Some people do nap, yes it's mostly men, yes
I get the inconvenience.
Wouldn't think twice about my (significantly older)
husband napping, on the contrary it's a nice
me - time.😛

The OP explained that there is nowhere else for her to work, but there is an alternative place to nap.

It's not about him being a man; it's about being the person working part time who wants to nap where their partner is working.

I’d be fuming if my husband did this to me. However I would happily go and nap while my husband was working lol.

Why is a grown man taking regular daytime naps!? I find this really odd!

And do you have a disability? Pandemics aside, you can usually work at the address specified in your contract.

We need to know how old he is. However, I know a lot of people who nap on holidays and this person works part time, so isn't it his right?

No, but I work with a lot of individuals that are not allowed to be "lone workers" when in office..... I'm just saying that it's not unusual.

His right? He has a right to nap in front of his partner while she's working because he only works part time? Srsly?

It's inappropriate and embarrassing. Of course you don't go and nap somewhere someone is trying to work.

Sounds like he needs to up his hours at work! Unless he's 60+ I see no reason why he needs a midday nap.

He should probably get a full time job. If he's not earning much and sleeping in the day for no apparent reason, that's a recipe for resentment.

Maybe you go in the office more often if it helps you.

If my epileptic friend was last person out and had a fit then God only knows the outcome. Not everyone works 9-5 standard hours where everyone arrives and leaves at the same time.....I work on a flexi system.

YANBU

You agreed that you would work in the bedroom. Your work station cannot easily be moved due to having lots of screens and stuff.

You need privacy to work.

You have a sofa.

It is easier for him to flop on the sofa than for you to move your work station.

He needs to nap on the sofa.

I think I'd just go the passive aggressive route and start making really loud and annoying (pretend) phone calls and banging things around. You could develop a loud cough. Or just keep asking him inane questions followed by 'Sorry, I didn't realise you were asleep'. He'll soon find the lure of the sofa irresistible.

why does he need to nap? most people work during the day and don't have naps.

Well, yeah?
Maybe he's semi-retired and gets tired? OP hasn't explained.
When I'm home I consider that I have a right to use my own bed.

If you don't have a dedicated office space you both need to be flexible which may mean being him being considerate and napping elsewhere on certain days or your moving your laptop and working elsewhere on certain days. Your bedroom is yours 50/50 which means sharing and compromise to make it work.

And if she has a fit alone at home?

And maybe he's just a lazy asshole who sleeps all day while his partner is working in the only space she can work from at home.

Do you not think OP would have mentioned if he was semi-retired, or recovering from a long illness, or whatever?

She has a support network, appreciate that not everyone does but the workplace need to safeguard, surely you can understand that????

This is the same situation I have, DH will stay quiet if I am still in bed and he has started work early, I do still have to go into the room at some points throughout the day but if he is on a call or in a meeting I would stay out, I certainly wouldn't go in during the day and sleep!

Surely there is no need for a grown man who is only working part time and not doing night shift to need a nap through the day??

YABU. It’s his bedroom too, not an office and if you can’t find somewhere in your house to work that doesn’t limit other peoples use of spaces that they are entitled to use then you shouldn’t WFH.

I don’t think your husband is being unreasonable. I work a technical job from home and can easily set up two monitors, keyboard, mouse and headset on the dining room table.
Have you heard of mobile monitors?
If you have paperwork (isn’t it mainly digital now?), there are stand-alone fold-away desks that also have a pull out drawer.

Where's the toddler during the day?

A bedroom is someone’s most private and relaxing place. Not a bloody office