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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want my glasses back?

1000 replies

FlexibleFi · 17/07/2024 17:59

More of a WWYD than an AIBU.

I went to a wedding June. I and three other friends from university days (14 years since we graduated) were invited and booked an AirBnB for a long weekend. We don't see a lot of each other but we have a WA group and message every few weeks. It was a lovely opportunity to catch up.

After years of being really hard up, I had a significant job change this year and for the first time splashed out on a few special things — including a rather fancy pair of designer glasses instead of Specsavers basics. The glasses are for reading and computer work, I don't need them for ordinary things. They're quite a mild prescription. All three friends at the AirBnB tried my posh spex on. One, I'll call her Rachel, commented that we must have the same prescription because she could read perfectly with them. She joshed me for spending so much money on them. A couple of times over the weekend, when I'd left them sitting by my phone or book, she'd borrow them to read something without asking.

We had a great busy and boozy weekend and when I got home I couldn't find my glasses anywhere, so I messaged the group to ask if anyone had picked them up accidentally. All said no. I messaged the AirBnB owner to ask if they'd been left there. No. Searched the car, searched everywhere. No sign of them. I'm not someone who often loses things.

Then this Sunday Joanne, one of the others in the wedding group sent a screenshot from FB of Rachel reading a menu in a restaurant while wearing a pair of glasses that look just like mine. Joanne commented 'Well now we know where Fi's glasses went, LOL' on FB. By the time I managed to get onto FB (ancient account I rarely check) the image had gone — but I had the screenshot.

I messaged Rachel, sent her the screenshot and said it looked as if she'd found my glasses, could she post them back to me please. She's replied saying they're her glasses: she liked them so much that she's bought a pair exactly like mine. I don't believe it and neither does Joanne. Rachel's recently split from her long-term partner and she talked a lot while we were away of how difficult she's finding things financially at the moment.

They were £300. I could claim on travel insurance (I have annual travel insurance) or on my household contents, but then I'll have to pay more for premiums for the next few years.

Joanne has said she'll get involved if necessary but I don't want to ruin memories of a lovely weekend. I can't immediately afford to replace the spex with the same (I have a holiday booked and that will eat up my budget for the next month or two) so I'll have to order a pair of cheap prescription readers on the internet. WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
FlexibleFi · 26/07/2024 12:13

MrsPositivity1 · 25/07/2024 19:48

@FlexibleFi ive been thinking of this all week

Please find something more exciting to think about!

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 26/07/2024 12:18

Only four more pages and the thread is full.

Glasses wearers wait with baited breath! 😂

Projectme · 26/07/2024 12:43

haha...when I saw a notification to say that the OP had updated this thread today I got mildly dizzy with anticipation that we had a result of some sort. Sadly, we've been denied and we have to wait! 😂

Savemydrink · 26/07/2024 12:46

What glasses???? Oh these ones

To want my glasses back?
TheHuntSyndicate · 26/07/2024 13:37

Savemydrink · 26/07/2024 12:46

What glasses???? Oh these ones

Guilty!

Guilty of stealing my heart ❤️

quantumbutterfly · 26/07/2024 14:02

FlexibleFi · 26/07/2024 12:13

Please find something more exciting to think about!

spex & drugs & rock & roll ?

CustardCreams2 · 26/07/2024 16:42

However this ends up being resolved - I really think you should cut this “friend” off. She’s proved herself to be a selfish self serving thief at your expense. Stealing food from you, maybe, if she has no money. But designer glasses. No way. Cut her loose.

viques · 26/07/2024 18:19

Aspex of love?

I am also getting James Bond movie vibes,

the obvious ones like For Your Eyes only,A View to a Kill and Goldeneye,

then the silly ones like Spextre, Live and Left Eye, Eye Another Day

CountessWindyBottom · 26/07/2024 18:34

I'm wondering if @FlexibleFi could confirm a contingency title for a second thread on this? I'm so invested I'm becoming anxious at the thought of the thread filling up and never hearing how this has been resolved.

Hope I'm not making a spectacle(s) of myself by posting this.

To want my glasses back?
JMSA · 26/07/2024 18:36

Wow. She's unbelievable!

alrightluv · 26/07/2024 18:48

Hope Joanne is successful?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 26/07/2024 22:14

Does anyone have the link to Joanne's and Rachel's threads? I'd like to hear their versions. 😉

Pipecleanerrevival · 27/07/2024 00:57

Dh is asking me if you’ve got your glasses back yet. My whole family is invested.

Galoop · 27/07/2024 01:23

Stop filling up the thread so OP can reply!!

Mumtobabyhavoc · 27/07/2024 01:49

Galoop · 27/07/2024 01:23

Stop filling up the thread so OP can reply!!

There are still 110 more spots to post!
Hope we'll hear something! 🤞

quantumbutterfly · 27/07/2024 02:03

Plenty of time for more spec...ulation.

Cherryana · 27/07/2024 02:22

This is the perfect murder mystery minus the murder. We have a prime suspect. A dubious alibi and a private investigator on the case.

Op - you are Agatha Christie in this metaphor…we await your drawing room final reveal…

coxesorangepippin · 27/07/2024 03:05

Well this thread turned into quite a saga 😎

Hope you get your spex back op

Dustyblue · 27/07/2024 06:34

Oh fuck this is still going? My heart....

Gwendolyn84 · 27/07/2024 09:03

I have a feeling that you’re all just really concerned about your friend, and whether she’s in a personal crisis and losing her marbles. I am very impressed by your grace & emotional intelligence, even though it would be infuriating.

I would meet with your friend for a heart to heart chat maybe with one other present or maybe alone. I think the point is you talk face to face. It’s a lot harder to lie looking two people in the face. Make sure you do it at her home and go unannounced. Maybe show up with some flowers or cake at a time you know she’ll be home so she lets you in 😆 catch her off guard. This way the glasses are close by.

Maybe say, “We want to chat because we’ve been talking about things and got the feeling something is going on”. Distract her with some small talk and the cake and flowers and making tea. Bring up your glasses and the messiness of the insurance claim. Ask where she got her glasses from.

If its at the confrontational stage already, just say that you feel terrible accusing her, mortified to be having the conversation but your instinct and intuition and logical brain is making you suspicious, you’ve tried to fight those suspicions but you just can’t and it doesn’t add up.

Dont forget to tell her how much the glasses mean to you, that they’re a gift you gave to yourself and weren’t bought on a whim. Though you shouldn’t have to justify.

I wish you luck OP xx

It’s not nice for trust to be broken like this. Makes you doubt people and human nature.

FlexibleFi · 28/07/2024 20:32

I have some news for those of you charmingly bonkers enough to care about a stranger's glasses. Joanne has my specs and they will be back with me at some point this week. Hoorah!

I'm not going into great detail because I don't want to feed the trolls, but Joanne and a couple of her friends staged an intervention and basically demanded the glasses back. Rachel gave in and handed them over. They are my glasses. Rachel says she found them in her bag when she got home from the wedding weekend and because she'd had a few drinks when I messaged asking her to return them and she was embarrassed at being caught out in the FB post with them on, she'd lied about them and then got into a position where she had to keep up the lie. I suppose it's remotely possible that I put them in her bag, mistaking it for mine but I know I didn't. Joanne's told her off for being so stupid and has suggested that if I take the 'FFS, Rachel, you're such an idiot' route too we can all move on together. As Jo's the one who's managed to sort it out I'm going to go along with her suggestion. I'm annoyed at having to spend another £60+ on a replacement pair, but there you go...

Anyway, thank you to those of you who offered your support and understanding along the way. I'll be marking my glasses with a secret marker pen and if I ever spend as much on a pair of frames again I'll see if I can get some kind of security code embossed into the frame. Thank you for those who suggested those measures. Now I suggest that all of us who rely on bins give our specs a good Sunday evening clean with their special little cloths as a way of saying thank-you to a vital but often overlooked element in our lives.

OP posts:
BirthdayRainbow · 28/07/2024 20:35

Fabulous!

BirthdayRainbow · 28/07/2024 20:35

I wonder what @DestructoCat will say 😙😇

Projectme · 28/07/2024 20:36

The news we've all been waiting to hear! Yay!

Thursdaygirl · 28/07/2024 20:38

Great news OP, thanks for the update!

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