To wonder what you do when you can do longer manhandle a dc …

[howeveridivide]

OK manhandle is a bit strong.

So this morning we all overslept a bit so I’m rushing and hurried. Ds (aged 3) is refusing to get dressed so I say ok … I’ll get dd dressed and then sort you. Still refuses after I’ve got dd ready so say a couple of times (and I actually say look ds I don’t want to drag you around) but no joy so I have to force him. And it’s horrible, I hate doing it but I can’t really be late.

But … what happens if that same situation and ds isnt 3 but 8, or 9? Or is he going to be a bit more reasonable by then?

My youngest refused to get dressed around that age. No way was I going to let him make his brothers late for school so I swept him up
on the car and dropped his brothers off at school and got him dressed at nursery. It was Avery stuck up place and I’m told another parent complained but he never refused again.

a while later both of his brothers refused to get dressed in the morning and when I finally got them all to school I was nearly in tears. When I got home, I took all the books out of one boys room and the music player out of the others. When I picked them up I read them the riot act and told them they’d have to earn their stuff back.

Never promise a consequence you can’t deliver and always make sure they respect your authority. Told my 22 year old to go to his room a few months ago. Laughed hysterically when he actually did!

You instill discipline while he's this age so by the time he's too big to manhandle you won't need to as he knows you always follow through with consequences for bad behaviour.

So if you say no or have a rule (like doing as mummy/daddy says!) NEVER back down as he needs to know you mean it.

What was his punishment for refusing to get dressed? Hard when in a rush, but I'd take away some toys and put them out of reach for a few days, before you set off. If he wails more, tell him you'll add to the punishment if he doesn't behave and get dressed. Then do it. If he complies, give lots of love and hugs but NEVER give the toys back early or reverse the punishment.

If obedience is instilled in him at this stage, it will be much easier later. He'll still test boundaries and disobey but will probably stop after the first punishment (like taking away screen time for a week then adding an additional week if he doesn't behave).

Every time you discipline him, always complete circuit by offering love, cuddles, comfort after the punishment.

You find new consequences they do care about.

Like remotely controlling all their screens so they can only use for homework then adding more days/weeks to the punishment, or grounding them and removing anything fun from their room, or cancelling a treat or fun hobby/sports club (even if you lose money by keeping them away from it).

You have to hold firm and not get angry or emotional.