Partner won't try my cooking or let me cook for him

[Tomanyflaws]

Partner won't eat or taste my cooking basically but will eat another women's cooking for instance his mates wife's ig they are making food this maked feel unattractive ugly and no trust worthy he says jid love should be enough am i being unreasonable to be so jealous..

I aint nasty i just expect my partner to appreciate my cooking over some shitty frozen burgers that's all he enjoying a burger when can have steak from me bugger of you've no right calling me names..

Well it's disrespectful to me when he's eating her food i have always enjoyed food that he's made..

Yes they do say its nice it just my partner its upsetting for me feels jealous hes enjoying something from another woman..

OP, posters are confused because you are placing an unusual association between your husband eating food that you prepare for him and your husband showing you love/respect. And you are getting unusually upset at him eating food cooked by his friend's wife.

I don't think that food is the crux of the issues in your relationship.

If you take anything from this thread, please try and relax a bit about food and who eats and prepares what.

I feel hurt because i want to feel like im actually good enough and have a purpose in life like cooking for my family partner and having people trust me.

I understand that but some of your posts aren't very clear. That's fine! But people will ask further questions, make suggestions or offer alternative perspectives based on what you've said. Or what they've interpreted of what you've said.

If people have misunderstood, it's fine to correct them but if you come across as ascerbic and antagonistic on here, people will also assume that's how you come across in real life.

I'm very hurt upset don't feel i have a purpose in life when nobody wants anything from me..

I think I understand what you're saying.

I think you'd care less about him enjoying another woman's food if he also enjoyed eating what you've cooked.

It seems that a lot of your self worth comes from being a good wife and mother - what you do rather than just for who you are. I had a therapist once who asked me what I liked about myself. I rattled off a list of things that I did well. When I finished, she said, "Those are all things that you do. They're not who you are." It was a bit of a revelation. I hadn't realised that - that I felt my worth as a person came from being good at doing things when it came from just being me.

I'd be lying if I said I fully 'get' it now! But I do often reflect on it and think about what she said...

Unless he's actually behaving inappropriately or putting you down generally, I think this is a lot more to do with how you feel about yourself than anything else.

I suggested uptrend that you try cooking together. So he can show you ways of cooking and techniques. Part of a relationship is learning from each other as much as anything.

Could you do that?

It sounds as though meals have become a bit of a battleground which is a shame because we all need to eat every day so there's no way of avoiding it.

You have just said it thanks yes I'd care less if he liked my cooking also it really all adds up I'm very low in confidence i think the worst and that everything feels like every person is looking at me to say she's fat and ugly looking i hate my face and body it repulses me i wouldn't say i was good looking really.

You need counselling love. You're all mixed up between cooking and body image. And possibly your vH not treating you well. But you need to pick it apart and get it straight in your head.

I agree with DanielGault
It's become all muddled up in your head.

I mean, I've made some pretty bonkers associations in my time (I mean that with kindness - whole shitload of trauma and abuse in my past which has led to some very disordered thinking over the years) but someone saying they don't want to eat your cooking and you hearing,"you're fat and ugly," has got to be up there with the bonkersest!

Again, not diminishing it. Disordered thinking feels perfectly rational when you're in the middle of it.

Good luck with the therapy and I hope it helps you to unpick some of these unhealthy thought patterns you've developed.

Im very insecure i just feel like the ugliest fattest women on this earth and why cant i be what is seen as good enough.

They are not normal feelings. We all have times when we feel like hiding in the wardrobe but you you are being particularly hard on yourself. It really would be a good idea to talk this all through with someone neutral. You need to build yourself up now x

I will be talking to my therapist at my firsy session iv already told them a lot but more will be talked about when im in there i just want to feel ok my partner says I'm full of jealously and hatred which he his right about he get himself any therapy though he refuse both that and medication but he expects me to get the help annoying

He accused me losing mt bank card on purpose and was shouting at me because I didn't have any money to give to him i had no change or any money at all.

He spends all his money on takeaways beer and other shit..

Are you full of jealousy and hatred? Is there any particular reason for that?

Sorry, just saw those other responses now. He's behaving like a dick there. He can fuck off.

Yeah because i feel like im not good enough to do anything for him im nothing like his mates partners all slim pretty and all that I'm the opposite chubby and boring nothing to look I'm thick i cant put a sentence together as you can see.

I feel like im seen as less capable than others for instance the cooking nobody ever likes opinions or take my ideas on board I'm not seen as a valuable contribution to anything..

I think you need to reconsider whether this relationship is right for you.

For now, forget about the cooking and him eating/not eating completely and focus on getting therapy for your issues.

This sort of behaviour is going to be what ruins your relationship.

What has that got to do with him not eating your food ?

You really need to stop and take a breath. What is your partner like? Forget about his friends and their girlfriends for a minute. What is your relationship like?

Has he cheated on you before?