Partner won't try my cooking or let me cook for him

[Tomanyflaws]

Partner won't eat or taste my cooking basically but will eat another women's cooking for instance his mates wife's ig they are making food this maked feel unattractive ugly and no trust worthy he says jid love should be enough am i being unreasonable to be so jealous..

I can't get the link between attractiveness and cooking?

Can you cook?

It sounds like there is a whole lot more than food going on.

Doesn't trust me thinks il do something to make him ill give food poisoning over cook or under cook i feed our kids no problem surely he wouldn't let me cook for them if i was that bad?? think i lack flavour seasoning but nothing i can't sort out is it i just want to be given a chance food is one way of showing love..

Can I ask if you’re both from the same culture?

Fuck me, that's a hell of a drip feed, OP. 😂
So he used to be a chef?? It's quite possible that the simplest explanation is the right one here: he doesn't like your cooking. At some point over the past 14 years, you must have cooked for him, surely?

Why don't people actually read the thread properly. It makes it so much harder for the OP to keep it on track.

OK. Assuming is just a bit particular and not simply an arsehole...

Is cooking something you could do together?

If he was a chef, can he not show you? If you eat defensively and link it to your overall attractiveness (as you have done on this thread), it will shut it down rather than opening it up.

One of the great joys of a relationship (for me) is sharing food, cooking, recipes. There are men who now have meals in their repertoires that they learnt from me which I, in turn, learnt from ex boyfriends!

Have you ever given him food poisoning or was it just the meat in microwave episode ?

TBF OP he's a grown man, as much as you dislike the fact that he won't eat the food you cook it doesn't seem to be making him starve, he can cater for himself.

Maybe he eats his friends wife's cooking because he doesn't want to appear rude.

I pretty sure if he did start to eat the food you make all the insecurities you suffer from won't suddenly dissappear.

These two things are separate scenarios.

You're banging your head against a brick wall, leave your DP to cook his own food and
spend some time looking at getting some help to resolve your problems.

Yes we are.

He needs help with his anxiety to but refuses at least I'm starting therapy soon.
It's not down to being rude at all hes actively asked her what's she making for tea whiles he's been there and was going to sleep over and have her cooked breakafst bacon eggs sausages and the rest sure hes doing it so he doesn't offend her yeah OK 😢

I went mad i told him you sleep there and youl be staying there for good disgusting i wasn't comfy she's a married women makes it even don't think either of them have any boundaries in there marriage.

He refuses to allow me to cook a full English breakfast but will eat her cooking she's nothing special she buys cheap food frozen Burgers cheap skate she is 🤮

This is a bizarre reaction to your husband visiting his friend and having meals with them, which is an entirely normal thing to do.

Being nasty and rude about the friend’s wife (who doesn’t appear to have done anything wrong) really doesn’t reflect well on you. I wouldn’t choose to eat a frozen burger either but I wouldn’t waste my time bitching about someone who did.

SPAG
🍝

@Tomanyflaws If you click on "quote" on the top right of someone's post, then you can reply to that post which will make it easier to follow what you're saying. Don't use the reply option as that doesn't show the post you're replying to.

Now you're just being bitchy.

I dont dislike her but for him to enjoy her cheap food over mine is shit ad upsetting i buy decent burgers not cheap crap from the frozen section..

OP. You are mentioning other women in practically every post.

I am glad you say you are starting therapy because I think there is more going on that him not liking the food you cook.

More the truth rather than bitchy she buys crap food..

Why are you equating your husband eating food you have cooked him with your attractiveness?

What are you inferring about his relationship with his friend's wife and what does that have to do with whether he eats a breakfast she cooks for him?

I see you mentioned you are in therapy. I think that is positive. Food doesn't equal love.

In your shoes I think I would stop trying to feed him to take the pressure out of the situation and remove some of the stress.

And talk through any issues with food and with the relationship in general with the therapist.

Maybe he eats his friends wife's cooking because he doesn't want to appear rude.

The above is a question I asked, as a just incase, not aggressive or rude.

Below is part of your answer, why the sarcasm?

sure hes doing it so he doesn't offend her yeah OK

I start at the end of the month i will be bringing the issue up I'm just upset he's enjoying something of hers over mine makes me feel unwanted and not needed and that she's more important than me she's got a husband why does she need to interfere with my partner?? He shouldn't be asking her to cook for weird cringey behaviour creepy even..
.

I haven't eaten because of this I'm sat here hungry i judy can't eat im to disgusted..

Your self esteem and value is dependent on his affection and approval. He clearly knows this. He also appears to be amplifying this by stubbornly refusing to eat what you’ve cooked for no clear reason so that it feels like a rejection of you. It’s not healthy. I’m glad you’re going to see a therapist as I think the dynamic in your relationship sounds like it isn’t doing you any good. Hope you’re ok, OP. You do deserve more happiness and security in your relationship given you’ve been together 14 years.