Partner won't try my cooking or let me cook for him

[Tomanyflaws]

Partner won't eat or taste my cooking basically but will eat another women's cooking for instance his mates wife's ig they are making food this maked feel unattractive ugly and no trust worthy he says jid love should be enough am i being unreasonable to be so jealous..

It's me as well i think I'm very jealous insecure in myself cant even watch TV anymore il looking over to see if he's eyeing up women on tv everyone seems to be better than me im like dog meat ugly or something i don't fit beauty standards i ain't skinny and rje rest of what is deemed attractive I'm just a plain fish in a sea of a tropical pretty fish that's how i look at it.

This man is decimating your mental health. Dump him!

@Tomanyflaws your self worth as a woman is not tied to whether or not your partner will eat your food. Your self esteem is nonexistent, and that needs fixing, above all else.

You keep comparing yourself to other women that he’s ‘noticed’ - has he actually told you that he finds these women attractive or is that you projecting your insecurities onto the situation?

You say he has anxiety and, being a former chef, seemingly doesn’t trust you with food. Other than defrosting meat in the microwave, are you certain at some point he hasn’t witnessed you cooking in a way that has put him off? I’m not saying you’re dirty btw, just maybe that you’re not conforming to what he sees as good culinary/hygiene practices.

There's nothing wrong with defrosting meat in the microwave BTW.

So far Im not hearing anywhere that he has said you are ugly, unattractive, etc....he just doesnt trust your cooking!
You seem to have serious issues with self esteem and insecurity that are centred around your partner. Does he call you ugly? or flirt with other women?

Maybe try some self care and work on thinking more positively about yourself.
Also you have a trained chef willing to cook for you every day....again, Im not seeing the problem!

No not really i can't think of any reason why he thinks she's better than me i haven't done anything i can think of anyway he hasn't said it to me no but i do get the feeling especially when other women are in sight i start thinking if i starved etc id match up but i don't know..

@Mymanyellow Couldn’t have put it better myself!

He isn't willing to cook everyday at all i don't even eat proper meals because i work through dinner time i get a 10 minute break to eat a sandwich while he's home he can cook but rarely does shove something in oven or gets a takeaway wouldn't accept my idea of putting a meal in the slow cooker.

I'm not a troll go away..

Go away

If you don't quote people nobody will know who you're talking to, will they?

He had said things similar to that but how does he knows these other women are clean he isn't around all the time watching them for all he knows she doesn't wash her hands or she's scratched her itchy fanny who knows bur ro trust another women over me id very upsetting

When you say he has said similar things to that, what do you mean? Do the things he has said pertain to you and food hygiene? If so, then it’s understandable as he hasn’t observed them with his mates wife. It’s like going to a restaurant. If you went into the kitchen and saw half of the things they do you would refuse to eat it BUT it’s a case of what you don’t see, you don’t know and won’t hurt you.

14 years and you think it's ok for your children to grow up in this weird environment where mother is anxious and suspicious and father is repulsed by his wife, their mother and won't eat anything her hands have touched.

Absolutely bizarre and I feel sorry for hour children thinking this is how normal people behave. Goodness knows what issues they will have.

I'm his partner he should want to try my cooking at least
I have used the scratching fanny thing as an example i know its grim but i have a way with words when im frustrated angry..

Thanks to anyone who hasn't called me a troll because its genuine post or anyone who hasn't complained about grammar and rest of if i do struggle with writing and putting sentence together.

OP, a previous poster said that the only reason they wouldn't eat someone's food is if they really couldn't cook and the food was inedible or if they had witnessed poor hygiene practices.

I've read through your posts but haven't seen where you've addressed this because the only other option is that he's just being an arsehole and that is not going to help your self esteem or your confidence.

I think yabu smd very insecure. If I was a chef I'd prefer to cook for myself amd family. He loves you and finds you attractive enough to have 3 kids with, why are you making am issue of this? You are being needy and controlling , objecting to him going out etc.

This thread is too stressful, OP is not hearing anyone. Hiding thread.

Yeah, this. Sounds really toxic all round.

I think the counselling will help you, op.

Because I'm insecure i want to feel attractive and be able to do nice things like cook for my family not have him eat hers over mine..

Why won't he eat your food? What reason does he give?

I don’t know how you got to him thinking you’re unattractive because he doesn’t eat your cooking. And yes you are being unreasonable for being jealous. Jealousy kills relationships,

He sounds like a sexist pig. But also like he suffers from something like OCD germ avoidance, paranoid delusions?
He won't let women cook for him in case they 'scratch their itchy fanny'?
If I were you I'd be delighted to never cook for him, or ever fucking speak to him again.