Partner won't try my cooking or let me cook for him

[Tomanyflaws]

Partner won't eat or taste my cooking basically but will eat another women's cooking for instance his mates wife's ig they are making food this maked feel unattractive ugly and no trust worthy he says jid love should be enough am i being unreasonable to be so jealous..

So he says you're unclean? And he thinks you don't cook hygeniecally? I'm assuming that's total bollocks in which case you have a much bigger problem because he's clearly negging you.

He does the cooking for us all at Christmas sometimes made a buffet on boxing day i invite my dad and siblings so they aren't alone..

I'd leave him

This sounds very controlling to me. Please consider you may have an abusive relationship. Tell your therapist these details, 14 years is too long. You can get out of this and be happy.

The thing is i don't want us to split i just want to put things right rhe xay i see rhinhs doesn't help he also has very severe anxiety but refuses medication or therapy im getting myself the help which he expects but won't do it himself..

Really?

dh is an utterly shit cook. Has no idea what flavours go together and produces such a mishmash of tastes I really don’t like it, let alone enjoy it.

even if he’s following a recipe he likes to go off piste and start adding loads of pepper or chili sauce or something.

unsurprising as his mum was a crap cook too.

i leave him to it, it’s not a big deal in our relationship.

Ok I can think of two rational reasons someone might refuse to eat someone else's cooking:

1. The cook in question is a truly abysmal cook who produces inedible food
2. The cook in question has been witnessed being disgusting in the kitchen, such as snail trailing snot up the back of their hand and then digging in to hand roll some meatballs.

Other than that, he's doing it because he wants you to feel bad, inferior, useless etc. in which case he needs to go in the bin.

No he hasn't said that but he's not sure i know about meat because I suggested tyring to defrost in microwave but he said thats a big no and it's the reason he wont eat my cooking i said well if i learn i could cook for us all because I'd like to be able to return the favour he saids now your just starting an argument sorry to all about my bad spelling and grammar.

lol

“itchy fanny”

you been drinking OP? @Tomanyflaws in preparation for the football?

We don't have any pets.

Just split. You deserve better

No i haven't had a drink i rarely drink alcohol..

I really don't understand. Can you answer this single question: what has he said about why he won't eat your food?

I just feel rhat way i see the women he notices they are always slimmer prettier and just beautiful unlike me fat mum of 3 iv got nice skin hair bur rest of me is a mess il never be a slim enough supermodel with a pretty face..

Punctuation!!

Oh stop it!!

We have changed a lot we argue im insecure don't like him going out don't like him looking at or noticing anyone prettier than me feel like there a threat towards me and are seen as better than me by him..

.........for all he knows she doesn't wash her hands or she's scratched her itchy fanny

FFS

TBH I dont think I would of got to 14 days without demanding a reason why my cooking wasnt good enough, nm 14 years!

You sound very insecure though OP. Do you really think he is losing interest in you or are you projecting personal insecurities? (Im assuming the cooking thing isnt bothering you that much because its been going on for 14 yrs now!).
Honestly if he was perfect in every other way and was a good cook Id probably just let him get on with it and reap the rewards!

He says il give him food poisoning snd stuff like that hes a cook and used to be a chef many years ago but gave it up because he was working constantly had no life due to the hours he was working hel eat out at restaurants cafes etc which im fine with thats thje whole idea of eating out to enjoy not having to cook or wash pots and pan dishes etc but won't try mine but will eat her says she's a hood cook makes me feel ugly unattractive and not trusted I'm not going poison him ffs..

There will always be people around that are prettier than us, or more handsome.

I'd say you do sound very insecure.

You can probably lose weight {for yourself!} and this will boost your confidence.

I can't see why he won't eat meals you have prepared, unless it's fear of food poisoning [??] But have no idea why that should be.

Ask him!

Crosspost with what I wrote -
My immediate thought was that he is afraid of food poisoning.

You actually mentioned this as I was typing.

Has he seen you do anything ''Risky'' in the kitchen, like wash raw chicken, or use a chopping board for raw meat and then use it to chop raw veg?

Definitely communicate with him to ask the reason why.

I can lose weight it'd just getting started im stressed out meaning i eat more crap i put most of the weight on when i got pregnant and I'm still needing to drop 3 stone anyhow i feel if kg xas that he'd not eat anyones else's cooking because how can he be certain of thre level of hygiene??? I have he says don't want food poisoning and things mike that i want to cook id like to be given a chance but no o don't get a look she's also uses cheap crap frozen burgers ewww🤮 i refuse to buy those i like fresh butchers style or would make my own..

He has but not in very long time he seems ti have lost that trust or judy refuses when i ask him what he wants or when i offer anything to eat..