To dig up the patio and put dh under it?

[Summerinspringtime]

*lighthearted
Obviously I won’t do it. The grounds too hard for a start!
So I’ve just returned home to find the washing machine on with all my white clothes in PLUS ds grey fleece and other none whites.
Dh has done it. I asked him what the grey item in with my whites was and he replied oh your grey fleece I guess. Turns out it’s ds’s dark grey fleece.
I have specifically told dh to not wash my white clothes after he ruined ever white item he washed previously.
He turned all my underwear a dirty grey colour and I could never restore it back to white.
So now I see my brand new white bra in there! The one I replaced my old one with after he ruined it!
Do not reply with how lucky I am to have a dh who can work a washing machine. I’ve worked 6 days this week. Dh will be off for the next 3 days.
He says I’m ungrateful.
I say he should wash only whites or leave my stuff the fuck alone.
Seriously I bought all new underwear after the last time.

Sounds familiar. Dh has had so many washing disasters because he refuses to learn how to wash clothes. As a consequence I have had to ban him from using the machine and added washing to the LONG list of tasks he is unable to do. Funny that at work he manages to actually learn skills and follow instructions. Honestly, I'd bet that more women consider divorce over issues like this than infidelity!

It’s called Learned Incompetence. Go on about it enough and he’ll believe he’s justified in refusing to do anything
This. They think if they act clueless and mess stuff up they won't get asked (or be expected) to do stuff like that again.
My ex father in law had this down to a fine art. Refused to use the washing machine or the kettle 'because you shouldn't mix water and electricity'.
The family thought it was funny. I didn't. He was an idle misogynist who expected my mother in law to do everything, and she was daft enough to go along with it. Let's just say his son had a rude awakening when he moved in with me.

How do people like this manage to hold down a job? Are they as incompetent at that as they seem to be at minor household tasks? I doubt it.
It's nothing but obfuscation, avoidance and acting daft so they can get away with not doing it in the future.

Surely the answer is to do the same back at him and claim he should be 'grateful' for his ruined clothes.

OP is that not the time your amateur opera are practicing at your house?

Frankly, OP, l think you need to start ruining his clothes. Bleach and high temperatures and mixed colours should do it.
See how grateful he is then.

Ime they are very good at "proper" paid work. It's all strategic.

Really? I handwash some of my T shirts (cotton) & skirts (cotton, linen or a mix), because colour still comes out of them. The T's are cheap ones but the skirts are good makes.

DH puts everything else in the machine & even at low temperatures white cotton underwear goes dingy. He's also destroyed a few of my things by shrinking them. He's still around but has only 90% been forgiven. I loved that black linen skirt, that black lambswool jumper & that nicely patterned linen skirt which went with a particular necklace & nothing else does.

I have a separate wash basket for things dh can't wash (e.g. Wool, whites, gym kit, will dress)

Or to cook yourself a delicious meal & serve him up some burnt cr*p. Every night.

And tell him he should be grateful.

Same. Everything gets bunged in together and it's never gone wrong! Couldn't get worked up about this!

This, the issue I have, is temperature too high, or tumbling items that need to line dry or drip dry. Colour running is less of an issue.
Everything is shoved in together, 40° and Tumble dry on high.
If I'm being fair I would say it's his failing memory, but he's been doing it for years, the kids as teenagers hid dirty clothes to stop him washing them! Plus side, they learnt to do their own laundry at an early age..😅

I would be so pissed off at this. It's really not hard to separate washing and manky off white clothing is depressing.

I think he should pay for a replacement bra at least.

😂😂 I needed that laugh.

According to my mate, putting dead batteries in the remote a few minutes before the start of something your DH really wants to watch is very amusing. Especially if you haven't got any spare batteries the right size.

It's ground hog day.

We had an identical post, from a poster who worked six days a week.

You meant get a separate lockable laundry bin...and put him in it.

Love this answer. I wish I could be like you. I've tried hard to be that chilled but I can't. I think I must be OCD

Nothingeverything I agree 100%. It's not ineptitude, it's deliberate.

Try small parts and a smaller pit, with quicklime

So I believe

Also, why should you be grateful, even if he'd done it with a modicum of care. Is he grateful every time you do a domestic duty (properly!)

You're forgetting the basic fact that men don't read instructions tho

Shein probably 🤣🤣🤣

They can remember not to put diesel in a petrol car but not whites in with colours.

To be fair, my dh has cocked both of these up.