To be annoyed that DH added sweet chilli to the pasta I cooked

[Sleepdeprived2]

DH wanted chicken pasta, so I spent my time today making it for him, adding lots of spices to it as I know he likes flavour. It was exhausting for me to cook as well as look after our baby and toddler. He came home from work tried the pasta and went and put sweet chilli all over it and started to eat it.

I am abit annoyed as what was the point in me spending time cooking if he drenched it in sweet chilli. He doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with it.

Aibu

I'm intrigued by the spices. All my chicken pasta recipes are creamy so maybe Italian herbs but spices? I suppose a Napoiltana chicken pasta but again what spices? You wouldn't really start chucking cumin or nutmeg in that either.

from the thread title I thought you were going to say you made a one pot pasta meal and he randomly added chilli sauce to it. That would have been unreasonable! Putting whatever he wants on his own food, not so much. Let the man live!

Argh I feel your pain. My DH does this all the time. Sweet chilli sauce doesn't even belong on pasta, pasta is Italian! Gives me the rage. Especially something I've taken time to cook from scratch and flavour beautifully.

Never understood the fascination that some people have with sweet chilli sauce, is that same people who couldn't eat anything as kids that wasn't covered in ketchup?

Ah, OP, when you said 'baby' I wondered if you meant 'newborn baby' and I see you did!

Take my advice and do not do anything for him at all until you're starting to feel like yourself again. Trust me, it will not make you feel good. When you're so tired and your entire world has been rocked, you cannot afford to give anything away without resentment and especially to your partner who supposedly is equally responsible but of course is nothing like equally affected.

Do not even make him a cup of tea. You will be filled with rage when he either doesn't thank you for it or maybe only drinks half the cup and you'll be furious because HE should be making you tea, and now the fucker's not even drinking it?!

In my head the things I did for DH when I was postpartum should have elicited the reaction 'wow, Tot must really love me to do this even when she's just had a baby and would so much rather be sitting down. I feel loved that she made the effort.'
But the actual effect, I have come to realise, was more like 'oh, cool, Tot's doing tea again. Must be back up to full strength! Business as usual then, maybe I'll organise a night out...'

Just don't do anything. I wasn't consciously 'being a martyr ', I was trying to offer a gesture of love and generosity but yes, they fully take it for granted and you will be pissed off forever more. I still am, well over a year down the line. And i think this whole effect is magnified with a second child because you're acting as normal as you can for your first child, but your DH, poor simple fool, is also deceived.

I think it’s more the fact you had to cook whilst looking after little ones rather than the actual adding of the sauce! It probably wouldn’t have bothered you if you had felt more like cooking or had found it more manageable.

@PossumintheHouse

Arsehole is a delicacy in some parts of the world 😂. I can assure you mine is delicious. Haha I can't believe my comment has been removed for suggesting someone's cooking is shit.

That's how he likes it.

Eww. How charming. Well, I didn't report you... perhaps it was somebody else who thinks the tiger should have eaten anything but(t).

I really don't think you should be cooking anything, never mind things that take effort, at the moment. Focus on your baby and recovery.

When I was recovering from my CS I let my partner know that I was on strike. He did all the cleaning and fed me. My lunch was a bacon sandwich every day but it's ok.

My DH puts ketchup on everything. I cook from scratch and very much enjoy making delicious meals that are perfectly seasoned as they are. He just can't help himself. I try not to take offence. Its just how he prefers everything.

YANBU. I completely get what you’re saying because what is the point in making a recipe if someone is going to make everything taste the same?
My DH wants to put sweet chilli sauce on nearly everything. Eventually, I said to him that I might as well give him boiled cardboard as he slathers it on most of his food. I also find it childish.
I have stopped him doing it unless the sweet chilli actually goes with the dish.

"Exhausted" after making pasta, gimme a break!

No, she means ‘adulterate.’

I don’t have an obsession but I think it has the right mix of sweetness and heat in a sauce for some things.

I don’t get the obsession that people have over how other people season their food. He’s in his own home and tasted the dish first before adding anything. He didn’t just get out the sweet chilli before sitting down and then start putting it on.

He still ate the food so her efforts weren’t wasted.

We don’t all have the same taste buds nor do certain flavours affect everyone the same way. I can still taste all the different flavours even if I add condiments.

Why isn't he doing the cooking if you're recovering from a C-section?

When I first moved in with my DH I had to get on board pretty quickly with the fact he drenched everything I cooked in hot sauce. Is your DH from a different culture? My DH finds all European food bland, as he has grown up eating very hot food (chilli hot, not so much about spice flavouring). He finds Italian food especially bland.

With a newborn he should be cooking or getting takeaway/ready meals.

However I always smother my food in pepper before tasting it, as nobody on this earth could add enough for my liking.

I can never understand why people care how other people flavour their food!
Its so arrogant and controlling to think that their way is the right way.
Just let people enjoy their meal how they like it!

I once made a super fancy fish pie. Fresh king prawns, monkfish, delicate flavour fish. All carefully poached in a stock with half an onion and a bay leaf blah blah. All covered in perfectly cooked creamy mash infused with fresh dill. Basically a very subtly flavoured big effort.
Served it up and DH took a big portion then covered it entirely in HP SAUCE.
He said he thought it was cottage pie 😤.

It's his food - if he wants to add sweet chilli sauce to it then why is it a problem?

My DH drenched his in condiments because his mum only ever used salt and pepper and nothing else for most things so he added condiments to everything for more flavour.

Funny enough, I’m the one who is from a culture where spices and chillis are used but I use sauces sparingly unless it is for certain cuisines like Asian.

We both cook and I know certain dishes he likes to have a small pot of gravy on the side and other condiments and he knows I like to add a bit of heat in different forms (chilli flakes in my spag bol, mustard to marinate my pork chops, sweet chilli for my chicken nuggets).

As long as food isn’t being wasted (food waste is a massive pet peeve of mine), I’m content.

He was being insensitive when you’d made a big effort, and I can understand you feeling annoyed, but I think your sleep deprivation is making you over-sensitive. It’s not worth making a big thing of this, but I suspect you’re latching onto this issue because you’re feeling he’s not giving you enough sympathy or support with the baby.