To be annoyed that DH added sweet chilli to the pasta I cooked

[Sleepdeprived2]

DH wanted chicken pasta, so I spent my time today making it for him, adding lots of spices to it as I know he likes flavour. It was exhausting for me to cook as well as look after our baby and toddler. He came home from work tried the pasta and went and put sweet chilli all over it and started to eat it.

I am abit annoyed as what was the point in me spending time cooking if he drenched it in sweet chilli. He doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with it.

Aibu

@Cinocino

be side she spent time (&energy she didn't have) to make him a meal he requested. Then smothered it in crap. She might as well just have cooked up some plain pasta instead of wasting her time.@Sleepdeprived2 that's what I suggest you do next time!! & when he complains just say you're not going to all that effort to have it smothered in chili sauce

I think he worked with my dad 🤣

And to the posters talking about whether a pasta dish takes a long time to make. That is yet another absolutely meaningless discussion (like the how long does any food take to make one's) given that she could have made her own pasta, cooked a chicken, made a sauce from scratch, ie hours, or boiled some dry pasta and added a jar of dolmio. Just because you do the latter, doesn't mean everyone else does.

She's had an operation- even if it's shit he should be bloody grateful she's cooked it

He should be cooking for you

@whathasitgottodowiththepriceofoliveoil

Who said he wasn't. Just because op doesn't like chilli sauce doesn't mean her husband can't.

That’s ridiculous, everyone likes what they like and it’s not less valid. If he added pepper, or Parmesan on top would that be as much of a red flag to people? Why is a sauce he likes
any more “crap” than any other seasoning?
He didn’t force her, she wanted to make it
for him so to then get so wound up that he added something to make it more enjoyable is just so petty.

Imagine how many people would be screaming abuse if the DH refused to ever cook at home because OP wanted to add salt and pepper to her meal?! It’s nuts.

It's pasta not like she's cooked a 3 course meal and he's thrown it at the dog. Get over it he wanted chilli sauce he had chilli sauce not a big deal.

Ridiculous thing to get annoyed over.

This, do you mean you made the pasta from scratch?

He's being unreasonable to want chicken with pasta to start with. Chicken and pasta just don't go togethe. And sweet chilli sauce is for Asian food. I couldn't be married to someone with such terrible taste in food. YANBU.

Honestly OP I get it
my husband has form for suggesting/requesting a certain meal prepared a certain way
and yes to him and some it’s just boiling a bit of pasta and mixing a few spices, chopping a few onions , cooking some chicken and so on but my god when you’re exhausted and have a toddler riding your last nerve and he just comes home and covers it with sauce from a bottle anyway you’re left thinking well damn what’s the point eh
I now just do base dinners and my older kids and husband can add whatever they want to them
it’s not worth the hassle imo life’s too short

If he eats the food you cook and hopefully says thank you, he should be allowed to add seasoning and condiments to his portion.

If you aren’t up to cooking yet, then don’t push yourself. The household will be fine with sandwiches and some other quick things plus your husband cooking when he is available.

I find it very strange that so many women think its ok to dictate how someone should eat/enjoy their meal!! Its very controlling. I cook for everyone in my household and i honestly couldn't less ( probably wouldn't even notice) what condiments they add to it!

The OPs username probably gives a hint

You are being unreasonable and making an issue out of nothing really. Its common to add condiments to suit one's taste, irrespective of what spices are already added to the food. Tbh adding spices while cooking is not really going out of the way. In any case, he is allowed to eat how he wants.

You might not like those combinations but people are allowed to eat what they want. Doesn't make them a bad person.

This can't be serious

How is it an insult? It's no different from someone cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, them putting the utensils in the drawer because they think it looks better, and me putting the utensils back in the jar by the hob, because that's just how I like it.

It doesn't change the fact that a lot of effort went into it, and that I appreciate said effort none the less.

"I've told him next time he can cook for himself. Don't see why I should go above and beyond if he is going to fill it with sauce anyway."

It's pasta. He tried it first and thought, mmm, fancy some sauce on it.

I don't think this is about the pasta is it?

This is very dramatic

I dunno...when I was a late teen I was kind-of dating a guy in his early 30s (this was nearly three decades ago and times were very different, before the whole of mumsnet start clutching their pearls), and he cooked a Christmas meal. As soon as we were alone, he made a point of telling me that he'd put plenty of salt in the potatoes when cooking them, and there was no need at all for me to have put any on my meal like I did (I hadn't even noticed I had).

Like I said, I was late teens and no one had access to the internet, so I didn't know what narcissistic personality disorder was then, but about 20 years later when I was told about it & did some reading on the internet, everything I read reminded me of him. I'm so glad I let that one go.

It's his food. You don't get to decide how he enjoys it.

I doubt your standards are decent, going by your username.

If you're recovering from a c-section and looking after a toddler and a baby, you should have just said you're too tired to cook and get something out of the freezer or get a takeaway. You don't have to be a martyr. Getting cross with him for using condiments is a bit over the top. Hand him the kids and go and get some sleep, you need to prioritise your own recovery and rest when you can OP