Guess what he thinks is wrong with me....

[SafeMouse]

So met a guy online. Date 1 - very average but thought I'd give him time to come into himself. Date 2 boy did he come into himself.....

I'll tell you about me. Early 40s, reasonably fit but no gym bunny (size 10 - 5'1). Successful career wise, live in the centre of a popular historic city in a beautiful converted flat. No kids, 2 cats. Average undergraduate degree. Divorced 6 years.

Let's guess what this Prince amongst men (hes not. Really really not) thinks is the problem with me when incredibly drunk on date 2.

Also we all know that if your height were different you'd be too tall, or too fat, or too thin. If you lived in a house to would be ridiculous that a single woman live in a big house

Yup! Don’t worry OP, I’m 5’10” and have had comments from men about me being “too tall”.

You can’t win and we all know it’s coming from insecure twats with micro dicks because they have to put women down in order to feel better about themselves.

Dodged a bullet there- he sounds like a piss head. He’s probably crying into a kebab now having texted you 5 times wondering why you haven’t answered 🤣

What an absolute dick.
You dodged a bullet there op.

I’m that height, have never had a man make any negative comment about it…maybe he’s one of those fetishists who get off on fantasy 20’ tall women who crush men with their stiletto types.

I think I’d have had to leave him unblocked as I’d just want to know what he said when he sobered up. The mind boggles.

What a complete moron. Who does he think owns all the flats in London? Teenagers? I live in a flat, pretty common with where I live, but my friends up north, none of them have ever lived in a flat and probably find it odd that I do, but it’s very expensive here in Surrey and I’m single too, so a single salary, kids and a dog! No cats

Yep!

The old 'treat them mean to keep them keen' motto. The mantra of many a Prize Prat. It's depressing the number of women who willingly go along with it though.

This actually sounds like a perfect evening to me.

I hope you're going to give him a similar evaluation of everything that you think is wrong with him 😄

More likely he’s just negging to get her to feel grateful for his attention. The fact he criticised every aspect of her life strongly suggests negging.

A surprising number of men actually believe this BS strategy works.

Well you sound pretty amazing and sussed to me! I guess you must have intimidated him pretty badly to make him so defensive... bad lady, being all cool and together and happy in yourself!

Glad you got amusement out of it. The sad thing is, there are many women out there who would have fallen for that, been totally ankle-tapped by it and started doubting themselves... we've seen them on here. So it's been refreshing to hear you shining the pure light of reality and self-esteem on it. 🙂

Cats are better than any man, any day, anyway... 😻

It was said with regret/compassion whilst explaining to me why I've not yet found myself a man. It was something like 'I mean you're really short but still attractive. For your age'.

Despite my short stature it's my personality/ lifestyle which is putting me on the shelf

Most magnanimous.

Yeah, y'know. Most of the flats being occupied by flatsharing eight year olds. That thing.

I wonder how you get someone this drunk and honest on all first dates.

Perfect time saving endeavour.

You need to unblock him to tell him you aren’t interested in commitment phobics - you’re looking for a real dad for those darling fur babies…

Adults don't live in flats? Who does then? Children? By themselves?

OP my grandmother use to say that, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

Not quite sure what the deal is with Toads however.

I have a house, which due to location and type, is probably worth less than most flats.

I also have a 2:1.

Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to unattractive, aging badly, sexist, rude, drunkards.

(Though seriously, he sounds like he has an alcohol problem. As well as a shit personality).

As you live in a historic city, I can only imagine somewhere there is a castle with a museum and an old 'stretching machine'. You make no reference to this so I can only presume he missed the final and obvious solution to one of your problems. Otherwise, you would be a willowy 40 something year old by now. Like Cate Blanchett in Lord of the Rings, and stuff.

I think MN has completely put me off dating if I'm ever single again.

Oh and I bet if you'd had kids, they would nothing but an obstacle & inconvenience to him, and another point against you.

I live up north in a flat and I can confirm my neighbours are all aged between 18 and 70 as am I 😂 we must all be doing it wrong eh! I’ll go tell them all to move out immediately to the houses down the road immediately as adults aren’t meant to be here.

I think he was negging and/or just a very stupid and mean-spirited misogynist.

Also .. too short?

It's a weird one for men, they generally don't care. I know loads of eg tall men who are with petite women.

My p prefers tall women but he's v tall himself so it's understandable, and he's not inflexible about it (and he would never in a month of Sundays say that to a woman in a critical/faults listing way).

The lack of self awareness is always . . . amusing, isn't it.
Mind you for him it's a quick way to find out how easy it is to manipulate you 🤷🏼‍♀️ he doesn't want to have to put any work in he wants someone who will obey him without any grooming/training on his part?

I once went on a date with someone who said he had never been out with someone with such small breasts before.🙄

I assumed most childless adults lived in a flat!!

The only childless adults I know that live in a house are ones that are planning to have kids within the next few years.

Why have a house and garden to maintain, when you can just live in a flat.

When my DC move out, I am planning to get a flat with a little balcony.
I don’t want the stress of having to keep up with all of the maintenance of it all.

Dates like this are what put me off trying to OLD.

I’m sorry you had such a shit experience OP.

In case you had any doubts, this is definitely him and definitely not you.