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AIBU?

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Original poster

To judge this mother?? (mother said loosely)

117 replies

SparklyGothKat · 11/04/2008 16:26

I was at the shops after picking up the kids from school. I had Callum in his pushchair and the kids were standing beside, when I heard this woman shouting. She was shouting at her DS (she had two) and then she shouted 'I am going to smack you in the mouth if you don't shut up!!!!' In front of everyone in the shop. After I left, I could hear this boy crying and saying he wanted his daddy, she just kept screaming at him like a fishwife!! Why do some people have kids?

OP posts:
Lizzer · 11/04/2008 16:27

Nice

SoupKitchen · 11/04/2008 16:32

yanbu noone should threaten to smack anyone in the mouth let alone a 2 year old.
I am a shouty mum but that is extreme and innappropriate.
I feel sorry for mums like that as they obviously have been pushed to far and may well have depression and other issues.
for the dc though

SoupKitchen · 11/04/2008 16:33

sorry she had two not the child was 2 but still very innappropriate

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 11/04/2008 16:34

I think the son (the one she was screaming at) was about 10

OP posts:
NotABanana · 11/04/2008 16:36

I was at the park this morning and there was a mother there with twins. They were about 3-4. She had one by the scruff of their collar. Twin 1 was crying, she then knocked the other one over trying to get the first one to sit down. I stared at her as I was worried she was going to be rough and if she had have hit them I would have asked her if she was okay. ( I find saying that is less confrontational than don't hit your child. If they say they are okay I usually say it isn't necessary to hit) She had already told them to stay in the tunnel for 10 minutes.

maisemor · 11/04/2008 16:38

SparklyGothKat, nothing to do with your thread whatsoever, just wanted to say that that is the most wonderful smile I have ever seen on somebody else's baby (the one on your profile that says big grin).

Divastrop · 11/04/2008 16:39

not nice.i have jokingly said 'do you want a slap' to dd1(9) in the past(when she has been bitchy in her lovely pubecent way)but if im angry or wound up i say nothing.

was he having a tantrum?

iloatheironing · 11/04/2008 16:40

What tunnel had she told them to stay in?????
Sorry don't understand

HereComeTheGirls · 11/04/2008 16:46

I saw someone shouting "shut up" at their child who was only about 1...and then the dad laughed at the child when she was crying because she was put in her buggy, saying "ha ha, you have to stay in your buggy" and kept laughing until she was really upset and screaming her head off.

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 11/04/2008 16:46

he was standing sulkly by the icecream freezer (as kids do)

OP posts:
Elffriend · 11/04/2008 17:04

I would judge too. It's exactly the kind of thing that brings back stinging memories and makes my chest contract really sharply. I would have been really upset.

needahand · 11/04/2008 17:11

it always breaks my heart, makes me uncomfortable when I see little kids being shouted at/sworne at. Poor little mites not everyone has the same chance in life to start with do they?

claricebeansmum · 11/04/2008 17:15

I am a bit of a shouty mummy but not with words like that.

When I hear such things I just want to scoop the kids up in my arms and whisk them home with me to show them that life does not have to be like that

needahand · 11/04/2008 17:17

yep definitely agree with you claricebeans

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 11/04/2008 17:42

she also stormed off across the road and her kids were trailing, crying behind her.
I admit I am a shouty mum, but I would never threaten to smack them in the mouth..

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 11/04/2008 17:43

perhaps she was at the end of her tether?? NOT excusing the language she used but perhaps she just was at the end of her rope. But i guess i would have judged too.

It reminds me of a group of mums i saw in the park yesterday, small childrens playground, all sat around with thier LO's o the slides etc. I thought, ah, nice a half term get together, then i noticed them toast each other, i thought, blimey, a ribena toast - lovely but as i left the park i realised that they were sitting there, all three of them, around a bottle of wine at 11.30 in the morning - was a little bit shocked as one of the older women goes to a playgroup i go to and seems really nice. But then i thought to myself, isnt that the same deal as ladies wot lunch and have theri glasses of chardonnay at lunch time with children in buggies/high chairs. Maybe it was someones birthday - hmmmmm

Divastrop · 11/04/2008 17:49

i judged(in my head)the 2 lads i saw in the park today,one was about 15,the other about 17,they had a small boy of about 18 months with them,and the 17(?)year old(who was the boys dad)was on the swing saying to his friend 'im getting buzzes when i swing high',i got the impression he was on something

lou33 · 11/04/2008 17:52

i remember years ago when i lived in london, seeing a woman walking down the goldhawk road, with her toddler , aged about 2, struggling to keep up

she turned to the child and screamed "if you dont hurry up i'm gonna fucking bust you"

i couldnt believe it, still makes me shudder to this day

it made me wonder what she treated the poor thing like in private if that was how she spoke in public

HonoriaGlossop · 11/04/2008 17:55

I would judge the 'smack you in the mouth' comment too

I wouldn't judge the mothers with wine at the park though but only because that sounds GREAT to me Am SOOO bored with the park - can't think why I didn't think of wine before!!!

BetteNoire · 11/04/2008 18:02

In Tesco last Sunday with the DCs.
Heard a child crying - that horrible sobby cry, where they go silent for a few seconds because they are so upset.
A woman pushed the crying child into the aisle that we were in, stood next to us and started looking through the DVDs.
The child was beside himself, tears pouring down his face.
He was about 18 months old.
He kept reaching out to the woman, and trying to speak.
She didn't speak to him or look at him once.
He carried on crying.
She absent mindedly reached out, picked up his hand and slapped it, hard.
The child jumped with shock, and cried even harder.
She pushed the trolley into a different aisle.
We heard him crying all around the store until we left 15 minutes later.
It was the most distressing thing I have seen for a long time.
Part of me wanted to go up to her and ask if she was OK - I think I would have done if I hadn't had the children with me - as she was so emotionally detached from this child that I wondered if she was ill, or something dreadful had happened to her.
Her trolley was full of shopping though, so it wasn't as if she had been drifting aimlessly.

lucyellensmum · 11/04/2008 18:02

That is a good point HG - i wonder if there was a bit of to my judginess. But i console myself that rose out of a tommy tippie aint gonna taste that great

HonoriaGlossop · 11/04/2008 18:05

LOL at that image - rose out of a tommy tippee

Hey, I'm not proud

georgiemama · 11/04/2008 20:50

Oh, I saw some woman in Marlborough last Saturday, who frankly I wanted to punch. I was walking along with DS and DH and she was walking along behind. All the way along the street I could hear her very coldly telling her child that he couldn't expect to get everything he wanted, people have to earn things, oh you say your sorry but you don't mean it, you just want me to stop telling you off. The tone and complexity of her rant, I thought the offspring she was talking to was at least 15.

I got to my car and turned around. The child in question was about 3, if that. My blood rang absolutely cold. I think it is only since I had DS that hearing people have a go at their children upsets me so much. How can they be so unkind?

Don't even get me started on the naughty step.....

OracleInaCoracle · 11/04/2008 20:55

this makes me so angry. i am aware that i am not a perfect mother, but i love my son and am aware that motherhood is a gift, not a right. there is really no justice in the world

HereComeTheGirls · 11/04/2008 20:56

I saw some woman at the bus stop once telling her child who was about 3 that she was going to take all of his toys away. He then started crying, and she told him he was pathetic and a big baby. Then she told him that everyone at the bus stop was laughing at him and thinking he was a pathetic baby as he cried