To judge this mother?? (mother said loosely)

[SparklyGothKat]

I was at the shops after picking up the kids from school. I had Callum in his pushchair and the kids were standing beside, when I heard this woman shouting. She was shouting at her DS (she had two) and then she shouted 'I am going to smack you in the mouth if you don't shut up!!!!' In front of everyone in the shop. After I left, I could hear this boy crying and saying he wanted his daddy, she just kept screaming at him like a fishwife!! Why do some people have kids?

I am reading this thread in utter disbelief. The mums here who have witnessed this kind of verbal abuse (and that is what it is) are understandably worried or upset. If they come across as judgy then good! If i was to see an adult threatening another adult in this manner i would be horrified, but for us all to accept it as a 'normal' occurance for stressed mothers?
what the hell is happening to us all....shouting and being abusive is not OK to anyone.
My DD is the most precious thing in the world to me and i would kill anyone who treated her like this....how can it be OK?

"and i would kill anyone who treated her like this"

perhaps I should do that to myself, put a stop to the abuse I sometimes give my DS's once and for all........

FAQ sorry if I have upset you. I do realise that we all have different life experiences and handle our children's wellbeing in different ways. I sense you are hurting about this issue and maybe you want to talk....? is there a way to email me?

Just as an aside I do feel as a society we accept aggression against children as a right of parents to discipline etc and it may be that we need to look at what it does to us all to accept such levels of anger?

FAQ I think you need to calm down! Don't be daft no one iis saying that you've done anything wrong everyone gves their kid abuse sometimes but I'm sure you wouldn't harm your kids that's the main thing.

FAQ - this thread is in no way directed at you.

What's been happening today?

Come on, FAQ- CALM DOWN FOR GOD'S SAKE

Oh Crap - I think i may have stuck my big foot in my mouth......
Not trying to undermine anyones self esteem or to push anyone who is really struggling (so sorry FAQ)

FAQ I never aimed this at you. You live no where near me anyway

hey faq. Stop. You are a great mummy. You are doing your best. Everyone falls by the wayside once in a while. The difference is you are a strong enough to admit it. You will do this because you know what? You can. You will be ok. I have been at the stage you are at now. I have wanted to die. I really thought the world would be better without me. Its not true. Its harder yes to stay and deal with it. It makes you stronger. Your dc will grow up to see how strong their mummy is how under immense pressure you survived and it will make them in turn great adults. Stop beating yourself up. There are enough people who can do that without your help. Prove them wrong. Now you were saying about cheap hols why dont you do what i wanna do and come and visit squonk. There is a thread under travel. I wish i could be there to help but only a email or cat or phone away x

Cut FAQ a little slack here, she has been having a real shitty time of it of late. Shouting at her will help not one jot. Unfortunatly when your going through this sort of crap you become very sensitive, I know I've been there. I'm not referring to comments re kids but rather the chippyiness towards her.

hey faq. Stop. You are a great mummy. You are doing your best. Everyone falls by the wayside once in a while. The difference is you are a strong enough to admit it. You will do this because you know what? You can. You will be ok. I have been at the stage you are at now. I have wanted to die. I really thought the world would be better without me. Its not true. Its harder yes to stay and deal with it. It makes you stronger. Your dc will grow up to see how strong their mummy is how under immense pressure you survived and it will make them in turn great adults. Stop beating yourself up. There are enough people who can do that without your help. Prove them wrong. Now you were saying about cheap hols why dont you do what i wanna do and come and visit squonk. There is a thread under travel. I wish i could be there to help but only a email or cat or phone away x

Mhamai- I don't think that saying calm down is chippy- quite mild for MN actually

Mehdismummy- how are things with you? I haven't been on here much lately, how are you?
Everytime I see Sid on Cbeebies I think of you

It's not saying though is it? It's shouting. Anywho, I don't want a row. I'm not having a go at anyone.

hi mrs! Currently in pain with what dr squonk tells me is arthritis! But ok! Lol about sid!

Ohhhh these threads never end well.

Feel free to judge. Judge away, we all do. but remember that these are your judgements, and not an all seeing all knowing assessment of the situation of someone's life to date. So perhaps it might be an idea to keep the judgements to yourselves if you can. There are obvious vileness, the daily ones, but one smacked hand in a supermarket by a vacant looking mother does not an abusive childhood make. She may have just heard that her mother died. She may be miscarrying as you watched. You don't know, you can only judge, so try to judge kindly because while &she^ is an adult who has choices, so are you.

By iloatheironing on Fri 11-Apr-08 16:40:18
What tunnel had she told them to stay in?????
Sorry don't understand

It was a play tunnel on the climbing frame and they wanted to get down.

with you there Smug...we read far too much into 1 reaction...personally I judge...we all do