AIBU to have nicknames for my neighbours?

[MedicalCannabis]

I saw a very funny thread on Twitter about this. I can't remember any of my neighbours' actual names, except one whose is amusing...

Please join me in sharing your unique neighbour nicknames!

We have:
The underwear model
Guy who owns the place
The fat family 🙈
Build-a-cunt 😬

I think sharing more would be too risky!

YABU - You should learn their names and stop being rude about them.
YANBU - Keep nurturing your creativity and being a massive curtain twitcher.

I know my immediate neighbours first names but other people on the street-

The drug house - house was built from drug money and the original owner is a wanted man on the run in Spain.

The vicar - he’s a vicar. Not religious and don’t attend his church so not sure of his actual name.

Elvis - usually hosts garden parties in the summer and always ends up doing Elvis on karaoke. The whole Street can hear. Also did a few songs outside his house during lockdown.

Right-wing-Brian - always stopping people in the street to complaint about immigrants.

don't think I could repeat mine 😬

Lamb chops

If you dont know the names then you kind of have to give them a nickname!
I have, noisy family, white bob lady, yellow jacket smoker, tall & languid, long beard.

I don't remember any of our neighbours names, but I remember all the pets. So they're all just known by their pet's name/s.

Mr. and Mrs. Rufus
Ms. Mango
Mr. Monty-Bowser
Mr. and Mrs. Ember
Mr. Dogless

Etc.

My grandparents used to have Mr and Mrs Fatty, Mr and Mrs Cocky, Mr and Mrs Lovey-dovey and Mr Drunkbum.

Moody fucker
The tramp house
Old perv
Red van man

🙂🙂🙂🙂 Great thread

To name just a few and my windows look out onto all the comings and goings on a daily basis (lovely jubbly) so I see them go past and think

Ah there's wig man aka wiggy
The tart
Short arse
Shifty bloke
Sour face
Lord Snooty
Smiley Gran because she never fails to smile at everyone she sees and it's so nice
Odd couple (not because they look mismatched but because they both look a bit strange 🫤

Not nicknames as such but:

The Drs
The old hippie guy
The boat people
The ones with the camper van
The old people
The rich ones
The Saudis
The northern woman
The illegal airbnb
The dentist
The strange man
The Russians
The people whose delivery always comes to our house
The eco-guy aka Mr serious

The others we call by their actual names.

I’ve only ever called my neighbours by their names or house numbers but DP used to have Peter Perfect and the Perfect Family who never stopped washing their cars, windows, front door etc.

@MedicalCannabis I love Build-a-cunt 😆, we’ve got a Bin-cunt next to us!

We have

The Olives - wife's name is Olive
Mr Beep MW - every time he opens the car door the alarm goes off.
The lovely Romanians- self explanatory
DBC - Drive Blocking Cunts
The other number 5s - Our road is weird and we both get each others post quite often
Shut your kids up - most inconsiderate neighbours in the street.

The drug den - definitely some sort of drug factory in there.
Twatty Parker's - lovely people but seem to be oblivious that parking their 4 cars on the shared driveway gives us fuck all room to get our cars out.
Yer dad - 100% chance my DP will become this neighbour in 20yrs (not a compliment to DP).
Sheep knobheads - used to keep sheep until they lost them. Complete knobheads.
Noisy cunt - self explanatory. Unfortunately our attached neighbour.

Dread to think what they all think of us 🫣

we have "the weather people"(elderly couple BUT you never EVER see him +her at same time)
"the cabbage patchers"(who 20yrs on STILL announce theyre vegetarians)
"backdoorman"(houses across road have a car park behind them-his lights come on but never see him cos parks at rear)

Shed Guy and Mrs Shed Guy

He's always pottering around in his shed. She's not seen as often, but when a seagull lands on the shed she seems to appear out of nowhere with a spray bottle of what I hope is just water to scare the seagull away.

We have

Bollards (he puts traffic cones outside his house evertime he goes out)

Mirror man ( he had a broken mirror hanging off his van for about a year)

Wallace (she chas a Wallace smile from Wallace and grommit)

Shrek (we didn't start this one, an old neighbour gave this name to another neighbour, which started our trend for nicknames.. Turns our he also had a nickname for me which shrek confessed to my partner 😂

I worry the rest are too outing though

Yes, we do this!!

The Lycra man - (passionate cyclist)
The millionaires - (nobody works, dirty and scruffy, feral kids, stinky weed house, plenty of Just Eat deliveries, but no food arriving
Them Wot Hate Us - speak to nobody at all in the road, just dirty looks to one and all
Silly Paul - the local nuisance with an absurd line in chatter
Leafy - totally obsessed with sweeping up. Autumn drives him into a frenzy
Slag and Slagette - Mothef and daughter whose mission in life is to shag all males, often hear the ‘sex noises’ when I’m up early for work

Haggered witch
Angry dwarf
Sherman or wildabeast
Creepy creature

Yes I hate all these neighbours and actually just refer to them as this when speaking about them to others

The neighbours I like get respect and called by their names

Ooh, forgot one from years ago -

The Wacky Iraqi - very strange Middle Eastern gentleman who let houses out to young ladies and popped in there unannounced and sat with them!
Knocked on neighbours doors and insisted he must ‘borrow’ items (never to be seen again) Extremely pushy and hated my Ddog as she growled at him if he got too close. He was always too close. Drink-driver and sex pest… thank hod he went!

“Elvis” sang in your street during lockdown??
Hsd you all asked him too, or did he think he was helping the NHS??
Id have laughed my head off if he just randomly decided that that was what you all needed!! 😆😆

Loud sex neighbours
The Argentinians
The dog killers
Chicken people

Emperor Constantoni - his name is Tony and thinks he owns the street. Very bossy man, very rude and the type who walks around with a measuring tape to make sure weeds are below a certain height and cars are parked properly in their place. If even so much as one thing is out of place you'll know about it with a letter. We all laugh at him.

There's Audi Woman who uses the street to test her breaks (actually I'm starting to agree with the Emperor on this one). Her husband is Cokey McCokeface (I think you can guess why) and their son is Baby Bellend. He's 18 and thinks he's the shit.

We also have The Colonel - ex army type. Nice guy actually. He lives next to Sharky who owns a boat but never takes it anywhere.

Next to us is Biffa as he likes to hit his wife. We always ring the police. She always takes him back.

Madam Edam a few doors down as she'll only talk about cheese lol.

We also have an Angry Dude as he's always slamming doors - actually a nice guy but very noisy.

The Sex People - they're probably not but they always have new people staying over every week.

Boo Radley - weird fella who always has his curtains drawn and only comes out when he thinks nobody is around. If he sees anyone he rushes back indoors.

I'm hoping none of these are me 😅
Especially @Opinionwontchangeluv 's neighbours!

We just call the ones we know by their names and where they live - "Janice from number 12" or "Paul from over the road"
And the ones we don't know are just their door numbers - "Number 6 bloke" or for the one with a company van outside, "(Name of business) man"

I do have nicknames for the neighbours, I think it's a common enough practice and harmless - but maybe don't use these to their faces and certainly DON'T do what President Biden has done: mistakenly introducing the Ukraine president as "......President Putin!". Twice.

Your social standing in the neighbourhood will nosedive.