AIBU to have nicknames for my neighbours?

[MedicalCannabis]

I saw a very funny thread on Twitter about this. I can't remember any of my neighbours' actual names, except one whose is amusing...

Please join me in sharing your unique neighbour nicknames!

We have:
The underwear model
Guy who owns the place
The fat family 🙈
Build-a-cunt 😬

I think sharing more would be too risky!

YABU - You should learn their names and stop being rude about them.
YANBU - Keep nurturing your creativity and being a massive curtain twitcher.

@DoAClassicCamel
I do like a happy ending

The Newlyweds
Mutton dressed as lamb
The Sergeant Major (deceased) he used to wear his medals on occasion and I would salute him as he glided by on his mobility scooter
The Evangelists
The Retros (live in the past - literally)
Neighbourhood Watch (nosey cow!)

I wonder what they call me.

The bin checker
The crazy woman
The slow jogger
The zoo lady
The noisy twats

Tbf it's a very quiet street, the tramps do the odd bonfire till 1amish singing elvis whilst burning plastic,that's the worst it gets here

Lord Muck and Lady Shit our wonderful next door neighbours

The man next door is a scrawny little runt (and a miserable fucker), but I noticed soon after moving in that he wore unfeasibly large underpants that must have been at least 10" across the crotch (I saw them hung out to dry, in case anyone's wondering). He is consequently known as Old Bigpants.

However, I think he may have overheard, as his wife stopped hanging his pants out on the line a few years ago.

Also along the road we have the Greenies (Extinction Rebellion and Just Stop Oil posters in their windows), Mr Gobby (can't walk along the street without spitting), the Godbotherers, who appear to go to church several times a week, and Mrs Misery, who is one of the surliest looking people I have ever seen and never speaks to anyone.

I live in a flat.

Drain Man - he has a work van for a drain company
Shouty - lives upstairs from me, shouts at the telly
Mr Garage - always in his garage, moving boxes around.
Bin Bag - always leaves her stinky full bin bags outside her flat for days on end, rather than just take them to the communal bins outside.

The Hills Have Eyes people
Wife beating wanker

We have...

[name] - cos we know his name.

[new people] - just moved in the other side, don't know their names.

Previously, new peoples house belonged to World of Leather... she went a bit OTT on the tanning beds, it gave her a more antique leather look than I think she was hoping for. Also she was vile to us for no reason, so fuck her.

Weed smokers at the end... fairly self explanatory.
Corner house with the GSD... their dog does a LOT of classic GSD screaming.
Cat peoples house (one of our old dogs almost ate their cat, which in fact ended quite well for the cat as she is now the most pampered cat on the earth rather than teh flea ridden manky cat she previously was).

I don't find any need to refer to any of the others really so they don't have nicknames at all.

We have a Ned Flanders a few doors down ( he is the spitting image). Many years ago we had Reg the Assassin, only because he wore a long raincoat and cycled to wherever…..he didn’t fool us !

I have a few….
CB (stands for Cheeky Bitch)
Deputy Dawg
Knobber / Knobjockey

Most of mine are known as 'nosey bu**er' although there are a couple of nice ones whose names I do use and who I'm happy to chat to.

Last house we had Pompous Peter and his wife Sour Puss. I don't blame her for being sour as living with Pompous Peter must've been excruciating as all he ever droned on about was his sons education. When the son got into medical school I feared PP may have a heart attack with the excitement. He stared me dead in the eyes whilst beating his fist against his chest and said "how proud can one man be of his son". I nearly gouged my eyes out.

Michael Myers
Old mother hubbard
Big pikachu
Hacky man
Mafia
Loony bin

We've got in our village

Matey down the bottom (sometimes known as that twat/fuckwit down the bottom)

His poisonous bitch of a wife

Albino man (he's not albino)

That dreadful cow opposite

Queen Bee

Most people we get on with so use their names, except an elderly gay couple who everyone refers to as The Boys.

Mr Minimalist
The knocker man and his son Barrow Boy
Handy Andy
Andy over the road
Nice Peter (lived one side)
Nasty Peter (lived the other)
Mad Mary (nice mad, a definite individual)

There are others that sound ok when you say them, but written down, maybe not so 😱

Cray Cray (she's actually mental)
Pick up guy (drives a pick up truck)
Hiya (only think she ever says)
Phone guy (paces the street on his phone all the time)
Taxi guy (drives a taxi)
Twins mum (has twin puppies)
Simbas mum (has a cat called Simba)
We had poodle guy who always walked his poodle, but he died so we now have poodle wife.

Fairly boring to be honest haha

We name the houses too.
so the embassy - as it’s ridiculously big and looks like one.
the bailiff one.

never ending renovation (which has to be sung to the tune of never ending story).
spherical ball house.

Dumb and Dumber
Gammon and Haggis aka The Drunks
Foghorn Tanya (and The Screamer Twins)

Ours were Manpaps and Fuckwit.

Thankfully they've moved away now.

The Chuckle Brothers! They’re not really brothers but do look alike, although one is slightly more darker skinned. Apart from that, they are similar middle age, bald, a bit overweight and seen to think they the “cock” of the street. Don’t know why, maybe because most of the neighbours are elderly. I find it quite funny to be honest - hence the nickname - and my partner and I do have a laugh. They live in a joint semi-bungalow opposite to us and seem to do everything together. “Me to you, no you to me” sort of thing. Keeps us entertained anyway!

I just remembered another one - down the road we have ‘Fast Dad’ as we always see him jogging to school to get there on time for pick up.