AIBU to have nicknames for my neighbours?

[MedicalCannabis]

I saw a very funny thread on Twitter about this. I can't remember any of my neighbours' actual names, except one whose is amusing...

Please join me in sharing your unique neighbour nicknames!

We have:
The underwear model
Guy who owns the place
The fat family 🙈
Build-a-cunt 😬

I think sharing more would be too risky!

YABU - You should learn their names and stop being rude about them.
YANBU - Keep nurturing your creativity and being a massive curtain twitcher.

It was when our toddler started repeating a phrase we always said about our neighbour that we decided to stop. Didn't want to risk her saying it to his face!

“Walks like he shat himself man” not a nice person so gets a mean name 🤣 and “works at Asda lady” I know most if my other neighbours by name so no other nicknames!

We have a load..... Mostly unprintable as being completely non-PC. Very reminiscent of Rowan Atkinson's school register sketch.

Sir Gobs Alot
Drill Man
The Asbos

I need to know more about build a cunt though!

Most of these nicknames say more about the posters than the people they're being derogatory about.

This thread is hilarious!

We live in a small close and call our neighbours by their names as they're mostly lovely, except for....

Happy Bollocks (because he's toxically negative)
The Pricks in the Corner...who have in recent years become less Prickish so we'll have to reconsider their nickname.

Laddie
School teacher (looks stern)
Grey
Scientist
Ferral
Canadians

I like to think mine aren't that derogatory but actually what represents then.

Sir Gobs Alot smokes like a chimney and each morning at 630am he will stand outside his backdoor, which is under our bedroom window and cough and hock up a load of phlegm and spit it on his patio. We hear it coming up, we hear it coming out, we hear it landing.

Drill Man. Lends his drill to everyone and his loads of different ones. Always runs out to offer an alternative if you use one

Asbos. Mom with 11 children. Children terrorise everyone. She takes the younger to primary school and they wear bandanas tied round their faces, they spit, swear and shout abuse at people. The older ones are constantly climbing over people's gardens, checking car doors, front doors, trying to get into open windows, breaking garden ornaments, stealing bags out of cafes, mugging the teens in the park, tipping over wheelie bins on bin day, setting fires and breaking windows. Our street used to all decorate outside for Christmas until they year they moved in and they pulled down everyone's lights and broke the stop Santa signs. This was in the first week of them arriving.

The house has been raided more times than I can count. They have been moved here by the council and they are going to be moved again. They've never lived in an area for more than 12 months. Mom says its kids being kids.

Haha I'm so relieved I'm not being rinsed for being rude/politically incorrect! Love some of these names... Right wing Brian, tall and languid... Amazing.

We've had -
The Reverand (nothing religious, he used to rev his motorbike for hours)
Mrs Blobby (pink and yellow dressing gown)
The Internet King (always on his computer, sitting in the window)
Father Ted (a mass of grey/white hair)
Keyhole Kate (thin, wore specs and was very nosey)

Wiggy, (should be obvious)
Fries, (wears a McDonald's style baseball cap identical but without the 'M' on it)
Derek, (real name Eric)
Newboy and Skank, (the gf plays away)
Grandpa. (Thinks he's one of the lads but in reality one of the geriatrics.

Tell me more about the mattress family!

We had the twat at numer 24 but thankfully he's moved away now.

We have

Lucretia - totally poisonous woman who thinks she is in charge of the street

Are you not having one Karl - fans of the Fast Show might recognise that.

We have a guy across the road that we lovingly refer to as FF. It's short for Fat Fucker.

He's a whale of a man and is grotesque - not because of his size but because of who he is as a person. He's the most sexist, racist, vile POS and I'm pretty sure he's abusing his wife.
I've tried inviting her for a coffee a few times so she knows she has someone to come to if she ever needs any help but the coffee has never happened. I worry about her a lot.

Sorry for the rant! I just find him repulsive.

Also we have Lonely Guy.
If you drive past his place at night, he always has the curtains open, lights on and is sat alone watching tv.

Mr Beep MW made me laugh out loud 😂

We had Shoetopia for a small house with about 9 family members (as in old lady who lived in a shoe).

Oh and bondage couple (they're in their 70s).

This is great. Me and OH have always had nicknames for neighbours.

we have;

fancy man
curly haired woman
’the drug dealers’
pornstar

and there was a major incident at a house down the road so we empathetically call it ‘the murder house’.

where we used to live we used have one we called ‘the cunt’.

These are brilliant. Wonder what the neighbours call us??

Snooty and Snotty
The Strimmers
The grey couple
Soft lad

Around the corner we have Ned Flanders and two doors down are The Fit Family.

Ned is very civic minded and the Fit Family are always doing exercises - for example, they have cones down the drive for the kids to run around and be timed on.

We have

Lovely legs (woman who parks as close as possible to her house even if she's blocking the road, we imagined her saying «oh my legs are far to lovely to walk any further!«)

Birds nest (mad hairstyle)

Flammable Gary (always talks about fire/things exploding. Our theory is he's a secret pyromaniac)

The yappy dogs
Never park in their drive
Heid the baw

I should add I know our immediate neighbours few doors either side by name and always refer to them by their names.

I don't think it's bigotry to point out the obvious; they're fat! Yes if I had a neighbour in a wheelchair I'd probably call her "woman in a wheelchair" and I'd call myself the autistic one if I was my own neighbour, haha.

I think being fat is a complicated thing and is exacerbated by diet culture and life generally being miserable, which I heavily relate to. Fat people don't deserve to be gaslit in medical settings, harassed, hated, or blamed for not being thin. I won't do any of these things, don't worry.

Let's not ban useful words! Fat is much better than "overweight" which suggests a correct weight and an incorrect weight 🤦🏼‍♀️