MN phrases that you would ban

[Malahide]

I’ll go first..

Potty shot. 🤢
Makes me squirm. Nobody needs to be sharing their scan photos for strangers on the internet to (probably wrongly) guess their baby’s gender. The whole thing is ridiculous

Yes, this! I feel like there's been quite the bumper crop of it lately.

Your coffee example reminded me that a while back I posted a thread (under a different name) saying I didn't understand why some people treat others as weird over really insignificant life choices like clothes, decor, preferred food and drinks etc when surely these are just personal choices and insignificant to others. I happened to mention in passing I didn't understand why people are always trying to get me to drink tea and coffee when I don't, but it was by no means the point of my post. I got a longish paragraph in response from someone who was kind enough to 'explain' that it was because tea drinking is a social ritual but that it didn't need to affect my friendships because I could always order something else when out (she literally wrote something like 'there are lots of other options, for example hot chocolate'), and that if I didn't want tea or coffee when staying at people's houses I could always ask if my host had any juice or take a water bottle with me which I could then refill from the tap. Thank goodness she explained that to me, I'd have had no clue what to do otherwise and would probably have carked it by now from dehydration. 🙄#totallymissingthepoint

'I would say "No, Peter, this doesn't work for me. You seem to have confused me with your chauffeur. I am no longer going to collect your DD from brownies/cycling/karate as I have childcare commitments of my own. You are a CF of the highest order who needs to FOTTFSOFATFOSM. Don't ask again because no is a complete sentence.'

Am I the only one who's now sitting here trying to figure out FOTTFSOFATFOSM? I've got FOTTFSO so far (I think) 😄

Some people keep Dchickens in the garden.

@heftywallet

What makes me roll my eyes back in my head are the posters who pick up on one tiny insignificant detail and extrapolate that when its obviously completely irrelevant and then do their armchair psychologist bit.

God yes.

OP: “My husband beats me because I don’t use Lenon Pledge.

Poster: “You can buy Lemon Pledge at the pound shop.”

etc…

I think it might be:

Fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more.

You know, totally common in normal everyday conversation 😅

I'm irritated by the widespread assumption that no problem is too trivial to need counselling, nor too serious for counselling to resolve. I think there are a lot of counsellors on Mumsnet with too much spare time and not enough clients.

“You don’t like X person very much do you” for having legitimate reasons to not like a persons behaviour. 🙄🙄🙄

because I could always order something else when out (she literally wrote something like 'there are lots of other options, for example hot chocolate')

haha! exactly this- HOT CHOCOLATE? your mind must have been blown- who would have thought that hot choc was an option eh? This is brand new information 😂

OP: “My husband beats me because I don’t use Lenon Pledge

Poster: “You can buy Lemon Pledge at the pound shop.”

Yes- this too- problem solved then eh?

Is it fuck off to the far side of fuckery then fuck off some more? Because if it’s not I have absolutely no idea. 😬😬

Give your head a wobble
Get your ducks in a row
Massive salad

Is it fuck off to the far side of fuckery then fuck off some more? Because if it’s not I have absolutely no idea. 😬😬

Ah, I think you might have nailed it 😄

To me the term 'plate up' would mean putting a meal on a plate and covering in foil for someone to eat later.

Oh gosh yes, I got this once and I could practically hear the condescending voice that went with it.

Someone you like can still piss you right off.

"Judgey".

The word is JUDGEMENTAL , not "judgey". It is one extra syllable and there's no tax to pay on it, so you can use it for free.

Actually I think “judgy” is quite useful because it’s “judgmental lite”: it lacks the righteousness which would make someone actually say something about it, it’s that sly, implicit judgement with a nicey nicey passive aggressive veneer.

In my world, it really isn't. It's crass. And that's me being judgemental.

@Thedayb4youcame

Fair enough. It’s an unpleasant behaviour for sure but subtly different in my view. I would prefer someone to be openly judgmental than judgy. There’s a dishonesty and a lack of moral courage about it.

So are you saying (genuine question) that "judegy" doesn't mean "judegmental", rather it's a toned-down version of it, such as when Kenwood did a Chef and a Chefette food mixer? As in, sounds the same, but one much smaller than the other, and with less force behind it.

@Thedayb4youcame

So are you saying (genuine question) that "judegy" doesn't mean "judegmental", rather it's a toned-down version of it, such as when Kenwood did a Chef and a Chefette food mixer? As in, sounds the same, but one much smaller than the other, and with less force behind it.

Sorta. That’s how it seems to me.

But being judgemental is when someone is owning it and being upfront about their judgement whereas “judgy” is being two-faced: non judgmental to someone’s face but bitching behind their back in a plausibly deniable way.

Thats just my interpretation though. Don’t think the Oxford English Dictionary would recognise this 😀

And there's me thinking it was just MN laziness, such as "it's cringe" or "it's cringy", because "it's cringeworthy" just isn't what we say.

I would sooner be judgemental than "judgey", if what you say is correct. At least you know where you stand with me.

Oh God, another interesting thread ruined by a couple of randoms sniping at each other.

We aren't sniping. I gave the other poster my thanks. MN does not allow you to see that, but thanks for chipping in anyway.

Who’s sniping? We were having a respectful conversation as far as I was concerned. It’s called a discussion, you should try it.

People that write out a helpful text reply for an OP as if it's the cleverest and wittiest thing ever. It never is. And if the OP was ever to use it, they'd sound like a right wanker.

The 'no is a complete sentence' nonsense. It really isn't.
Sister - "Could you do me a favour and watch the kids for me while I do a big shop?"
"No."
Sister - "Ah, ok, never mind."
It just doesn't work in normal human interaction.

All the posters with these amazing over-achieving, strapping, healthy, sports mad teenagers who never put a foot wrong. Secretly I'd much rather read about them getting smashed on MD2020 in the park and puking in the wardrobe.

The Penis Beaker or snapped and farted club. Those threads weren't that funny.

I can't stand 'making memories' or 'tinkly laugh'.