MN phrases that you would ban

[Malahide]

I’ll go first..

Potty shot. 🤢
Makes me squirm. Nobody needs to be sharing their scan photos for strangers on the internet to (probably wrongly) guess their baby’s gender. The whole thing is ridiculous

Or shaking with tears flowing

DickJagger · Today 09:55

I also hate when people say "must be the school holidays" in a post they don't find believable

I've never understood people who say this. Do they really believe that school kids post fake scenarios on Mumsnet for kicks.

Yeah the 'is it the school holidays?' trope is so tedious. And they act like they're the first person to say it, and think they're soooooooo original. 🙄

As you said, no WAY is it a SCHOOL child, posting on Mumsnet. They wouldn't be arsed with coming on here. It's 100% a bored and goady adult male or female. Of COURSE it's not a school kid. Stupid f*cking thing to say!

A live example just spotted: “Did you mean to make yourself look morally bankrupt?”

Hmmm. I think you haven't experienced the bitchy school mum clique, or you are safely ensconced in it.

I'm very busy. Think teacher and you're there.

So you're a teacher then. Why not just say I'm a teacher?

“I’m shaking as I type this”
No you aren’t.

Which bit? Objecting to sharing children's genitalia online and giving it a "cutesy" name (potty shot) or the concept of this now becoming mainstream and acceptable?

I have never seen "potty shot" on here until this very day! I read this post, went back to active and then scrolled down to see it. What are the chances!

To me potty shot is a picture of a dodgy poo or something.

@parkrun500club

Hmmm. I think you haven't experienced the bitchy school mum clique, or you are safely ensconced in it.

I haven’t no. Maybe I have been lucky but I honestly think these so called “cliques” are figments of people’s imagination in 99% of cases.

This has been discussed on many threads but this comes from people over-investing in school friendships and then getting the hump when people don’t put out as much as they do. Or assuming that school friendships are a social life on a plate. School mum friendships are by their nature friendships of convenience. They are not supposed to be proper friendships.

If people cared less about them it would all be far easier

I’m not disputing that there can be some nasty individual parents but the idea of a clique seems very paranoid.

Same. I was wondering why the hell these mums would take photos of their kids sitting on a potty! Never seen that phrase until this thread.

Use your words.

The 'think' does my head in!

Is this a thing? Cant be legitimate, if its not a thing then? I genuinely am confused by this innane phrase. Not passive aggressive, pretend confused, but really really confused.

'The male gaze'

'Internalised mysogyny'

what is it?

Under his eye

Cherchez le femme

Jesus, those fuckin ducks!

Phone 999

Yea, cos your husband is the only person that cycles a bicycle

All the posts in which the posters disregard social conventions, family relationships, work politics, financial obligations or any possible repercussions and say something along the lines of "Tell your DH/boss/MiL/landlord/4yo nephew to fuck off". Yep, because people don't need to keep their job/home/marriage or maintain a good atmosphere at family gatherings or bite their tongue to keep the peace. Just tantrum your way through life. Fuck it.

Plate up. I've never heard this in real life - it's dish up everywhere I've lived, and I've lived in quite a few regions.

This drives me mad too- as if you're going to just say to your boss fuck off.

Hey, and when you lose your job and cant pay the mortgage/rent as a result tell them to fuck off too- that always goes down super well -they'll let you stay there for free because you're such a badass 😂

'Give your head a wobble' - unbearably twee.
'Picky bits' (although we do have picky tea in our house ... better than saying 'scour the fridge for leftovers and some salad')

I used to work with someone in real life who used the phrase 'boils my piss'. Made me laugh then and still does now. I use it.

What I absolutely can't bear are the carefully crafted, overly long and entirely unrealistic 'responses' to a certain situation. For example:

'I would say "No, Peter, this doesn't work for me. You seem to have confused me with your chauffeur. I am no longer going to collect your DD from brownies/cycling/karate as I have childcare commitments of my own. You are a CF of the highest order who needs to FOTTFSOFATFOSM. Don't ask again because no is a complete sentence.'

Usually followed by a suggestion to practise saying it in the mirror (?!?!) and the next poster saying 'This response is perfect'.

No it isn't. It reads like a sub-par piece of GCSE English writing. Nobody talks like this in real life.

And ... breathe :)

What makes me roll my eyes back in my head are the posters who pick up on one tiny insignificant detail and extrapolate that when its obviously completely irrelevant and then do their armchair psychologist bit.

Eg. "I'm struggling with my friend who keeps being flaky and not showing up for our coffee dates leaving me wondering if she's going to turn up or not, how to address with her?"

Answer: "I think you need to examine your psychological dependence on coffee, it's probably rooted in childhood- did you see your parents relying on coffee to get through the day? I think therapy would help you to work out your feelings around coffee and why you place so much importance and meaning on it"

Its not about the fucking coffee FFS.

AITA. It's not Reddit.