MN phrases that you would ban

[Malahide]

I’ll go first..

Potty shot. 🤢
Makes me squirm. Nobody needs to be sharing their scan photos for strangers on the internet to (probably wrongly) guess their baby’s gender. The whole thing is ridiculous

Ducks in a row
Tinkly laugh
Be breezy
Get worked up
Chill
Nip in the bud

Per se

I (50F) and DP (52M)

Let's call her Tabitha and let's call him Clive

Boomer

Making memories

Tinkly laugh and head tilt (who actually does that?)

Nobody does that! It's an absolutely ridiculous thing to say, it makes me cringe.
As does "my little family"....how twee and toe-curling! Especially as it's usually aimed at preventing anyone from the husband's side of the family ever darkening the doorstep!

“If I’m honest” or “To be honest” is stupid filler language unless you’re normally a liar.

Massive salad, Mumsnet chicken and naice ham have started to grate a bit. 👀

"Going against the grain here"

Especially when they go on to post the same thing as half the posters on the thread.

'Teeny tiny'

Normally said because someone's committed the crime of admitting to having a small to moderate appetite.

Adding ', no?' to the end of sentences.
It's so patronising.

Batshit crazy

Name change for this as it’s incredibly outing - okay and?

"hard won rights"

‘Nailed it!’

'Batshit' - have never heard anyone use it in real life.

'I wear what I like! I don't care what others think!' In S&B... So helpful when someone would like a change or to look a certain way for an event...🙄

"As you well know" so condescending.

‘I couldn’t live like that’ (‘unhelpful).

’i’d be…’ (as in, speaking to the teacher/getting a divorce/complaining to the manager’ etc.. (arrogant phrasing).

‘Get your ducks in a row.’

I find all of the above very patronising.

Give your head a wobble.

Sentences that start with 'kindly..........' that go on to say something that is ANYthing but 'kind.'

'Reader, I told him to go away...; Starting a sentence with 'reader.' Just F off!

'You sound unhinged.' Spiteful, nasty, unkind, cruel thing to say. (See also 'you sound deranged.')

I live in a 'naice' area.' (Very likely live in a suburb on the edge of a big town, full of people who think they're middle class.)

Tinkly laugh, head tilt, spider willies.

Saying 'no?' at the end of a sentence. As a pps said, it's so patronising no?

As a pp said, mocking and deriding someone who doesn't eat large amounts of food by snidely calling them 'teeny tiny' fucks me off! I once said that DH and I share a large battered fish and a standard bag of chips, and have a large pot of curry sauce with it, (from the chip shop,) and a slice of bread and butter each. Several posters said 'LOL, teeny tiny! Do you have a massive salad for lunch?!' Someone said I was weird, as no-one does that unless they're 'very elderly.'

Not true, because DH and I do, and we're in our early-mid 50s! Just piss off with your food-eating-shaming and mocking you twat!

Didn't want to read and run

Husband has a hobby which I won't reveal as outing.

Snarky - I've heard and use sarky (short for sarcastic) but what does snarky exactly mean.

Pack up - i know it's regional but it grates.

Many i dislike are already listed like boils my piss and itchy teeth.

Name changed for this, but long time user, penis beaker etc

Ducks in a row

Gives me the ick

People quoting the OP

No is a complete sentence

I cannot get along with any of these.

And it's ALWAYS cycling

Comparison is the thief of joy.
Hard no.

I'll go first