To be really, genuinely annoyed we have to go through menopause

[OptimismvsRealism]

Honestly it's hard not to suspect that nature hates women - I feel like a second class member of the species

I hate the constant anxiety in my life now, hate that the choice to have a baby is probably gone, hate that no one respects older women (I always did!! I knew this would come for me eventually!), hate how long it takes to be "ready" for sex now

Why isn't this cured yet? If men had menopause it would be.

YABU - how can you feel annoyed with the biological reality of being a female human? Makes no sense. Are you annoyed to be alive? Annoyed to have to breathe / eat / shit?
'Nature' cannot hate women, it's not a sentient thing...

Well said My friend 8 years older than me patronised me: "I prefer to do it naturally - no side effects here"

She now has a dowagers hump. She is 60, was post menopausal by 45 (like me)

I have been slim with a low bmi all my life, I’ve had approx 20 alcoholic drinks in my entire life and have had zero in the last 10 years, I don’t smoke, I exercise, drink only water and eat well yet my perimenopause journey has been hell.

I find your reply extremely derogatory to the hoards of women out there that are genuinely suffering. I’ve done nothing in my life to warrant feeling so awful. I have the healthiest lifestyle of all my friends and peers. Quite often it’s the luck of the draw just count yourself lucky that you have drawn the long straw.

Humans are designed to live past menopause though however long sone people think we should live for

There are even biological reasons why - basically because our young are so helpless for so long

Good for you but I do not agree with any of it.

It's sad, but you're suffering at 42 OP and the man described is presumably much older.
Men really don't go through anything like what we go through.

A doctor friend of mine replied to a poem I posted on FB about everything girls and women have to go through from around 10 onwards with 'but men can get prostate cancer'. I have a friend in his 50s with prostate cancer so I don't dismiss that, but it's hardly comparable to all the gynaecological shit women and girls have to go through.

Yes. I used to get that. It would be very sudden and make me jump.

I am annoyed to be alive tbh yes.

And yes I can be annoyed at being a woman cos it's shite

No, most of that is bullshit.
Also, what most people mean by menopause is peri-menopause and not the time years afterwards when all symptoms are gone.

Before no periods you get flooding and irregular periods - much worse than normal periods.
Before the no chance of unwanted pregnancy you have times when you may not be able to take the pill, but also may still get pregnant but would maybe not recognise it because of perimenopause
Looking great - no, not really when you consider what the lack of hormones does to your skin and general health and wellbeing
Miriam Margoyles - gets away with it because she's famous, not because she's old
You can't actually have that glass of wine and piece of cake because your declining oestrogen means you hold weight around the middle and in general
Holiday on your own - you can do at any age except when you have tiny babies

I think the evolutionary reason for menopause is that grandmothers are useful. Pretty shit for those who are not and won't be.

Also what if grandmothers wanted to fuck off on whatever the caveman's equivalent of a cruise was? Fuck this shit seriously.

I have never found being a woman "shite". I can do everything men can AND have babies. I think it's marvellous.

Personally, I don't want to be a grandmum, as the world appears to be a horrible place and getting worse, so I am going off on all the travels now. So does my mum, even at nearly 80.

I think bits of it are shit and other bits not so much.
I'm 52 and undoubtedly in peri. I have some physical and mental symptoms. Taking 2 supplements has totally sorted out the anxiety and also some of the physical things. I'm not keen to take HRT because of my DM's experience with coming off it.

As a middle-aged woman I enjoy giving less of a shit about a number of things. For example I absolutely do not care about looking older. Plus the idea of having any more children has brought me out in a cold sweat since I was 40!

the world appears to be a horrible place and getting worse

I'm pretty sure humans have been saying that forever. Yes, some things get worse, but many things also get better. I have no burning desire to be a grandmother, but will very happily be one if my dc decide to have children!

I didn't say an early menopause could be due to sweeteners.

I said a rough menopause may be attributed to eating an unhealthy diet and that sweeteners are an known endocrine disruptor and in many foods so it's not unreasonable to suggest a link.

Sweeteners? WTF?

You are born with the number of eggs/egg reserve you have.

You also do not "come out the other side", post menopause is a permanent state.

If you are on the mini pill it is a form of HRT so of course you have not got symtoms.

So much bollocks written on this thread.

OP You do not have a "serious mental health issue" 😂

Most intereating fact is the one about whales.

I get it. I am almost 39 and feel upset that I seem to be in peri menopause.
Insomnia, lighter almost non existent periods and the other ageing stuff like hair starting to grey and putting on a stone and a half without really doing anything different.
Knowing I have actual menopause to come on top of two chronic illnesses is pretty hard to bear.

I said a rough menopause may be attributed to eating an unhealthy diet and that sweeteners are an known endocrine disruptor and in many foods so it's not unreasonable to suggest a link.

Are you suggesting that in everyone who has a rough menopause, it's because of an unhealthy diet? If not, then why minimise women's experiences if they may be suffering bad menopausal symptoms unrelated to lifestyle?

@BloodyHellKenAgain says that a rough menopause MAY be attributed to an unhealthy diet @AllProperTeaIsTheft, not that it is a factor.

You also do not "come out the other side", post menopause is a permanent state.

@BlackStrayCat I think you know that posters mean the other side of the perimenopause.

Given that the average age of the menopause is 52 I'm surprised at the number of posters who are having symptoms so young. I started getting them at 47 and had my last period at 50.

My sister (who is overweight) had her last period at 46, and her GP told her that in her experience the larger ladies tended to have an earlier menopause. This is not scientific evidence, just anecdata.

Most of my (tall, slim) friends and I (tall, slim), were post menopausal by 45.
None of us fat, overweight, eaters of sweeteners and UPFs.

Posters certainly ARE saying "I am 60 and through it" etc. Loads of them.
"You will get through it and out the other side"

Just "anecdata, of course."

What's weird is why don't we grow into adulthood and just stay that way until we die? Why all the grey hair and wrinkles?

@BlackStrayCat

To those saying that menopause is getting earlier due to modern diets: Aristotle said it happened at 40 (admittedly he gave dodgy info on lots of things, including the number of teeth humans have). Medieval sources frequently refer to menses continuing until 'between the 40th and 50th year'. Menopause is also quite a bit earlier, on average, in less economically developed countries. If anything the evidence is the opposite - menopause gets later as we're less likely to be undernourished.