Reasons you wouldn’t move to US

[Preiu]

Dh has been offered a job in the US. The increase in salary would put us into a completely different wealth bracket but I really don’t want to move.

• fear of home invasion with guns
• school shooting - guns in general I guess
• American exceptionalism attitude annoys me
• Being away from family
• Not having Europe on doorstep

Can I ask if you have any other reasons

Guns
Guns in schools
Trump
Misogyny

How is the person walking into the restaurant is it like in Pulp Fiction when they’re waving it round and emptying the till or just in a holster? Both are unlikely, depending on where you live there obviously but obviously the two are different things. It’s like the school shooting thing, it’s unlikely when you look at it on a mathematical basis. Chances of being in a car accident are far higher for example, but it won’t stop people driving or being a passenger.

I’m going to say it again - for those at the back.

The leading cause of death for children in the US is firearms. STOP ignoring and downplaying this.

I don't think this thread will help you, OP. I think you would be better served by speaking to any friends in CT? they could give you a better picture. The US is a big place, after all.

Health care, guns and the fact that the two presidential candidates appear to be the best they have to offer? Out of all how many millions of them?

Nothing would make me move to America until the gun laws were abolished. I couldn’t send my kids to school knowing they could be shot at any point!

I spent a few days in Connecticut a few weeks ago. There are some nice beaches and parks, but I wouldn't want to live there. The main issue for me would be having to drive everywhere. I like to walk. And the driving is often so slow! They don't have enough roundabouts - far too many junctions with traffic lights, so any journey going through an urban area is very stop start.

My brother lives in LA. Originally loved it in his twenties but has serious regrets now, as the father of 2 teens. He is extremely worried about guns and crime. Can't let his kids have the freedoms he wants to give them e.g taking a train or a bus to go into town to meet friends.
Also hates the work culture - only 2 weeks off a year, has to stick with a job he hates because he needs the healthcare insurance it provides.
Earthquakes, wildfires, drugs, substandard education for his extremely bright kids.They had a suspected shooter in the school a couple of months ago.This is considered one of the best schools in LA, Kardashians etc.
Cost of housing, he has a beautiful home with garden and pool but he can't see his own kids being able to buy anything (that one sounds familiar!).
That was a ramble !!

I’m not ignoring or downplaying it. I’m just saying the fear of guns in the US isn’t a thing for me. Wind your neck in with your sanctimonious “those at the back” crap. Gun control is absolutely needed, you’d have to be insane to not think that. By the same notion, it wouldn’t be an issue if I had the option to move there, which is the original question.

Trumpers. The bigots in the US are out of control.
It depends where you go, though. The US south and Midwest is full of mouth- breathing rednecks. Rural areas and small towns anywhere are iffy. There are some states that are not so bad, like California and Vermont.

Also, the lack of reproductive freedom in many states is appalling.

I have visited the US many times, and outside of the big cities, there is a palpable undercurrent of Trumper rage and menace. When I cross the border back into Canada I always feel relieved. You couldn't pay me enough to live in rural or small town America and the big cities are either too expensive or too crime ridden. I no longer visit because it keeps getting worse and is now intolerable.

I don't downplay it at all. My youngest was 8 when they went on their first anti gun protest. I wouldn't allow my kids on playdates if the parents had a gun in their homes. I believe strongly that you should be charged if you leave your gun out and your toddler kills themselves or their sibling and if your teen has access to your guns and they go and shoot a school up. If I can't get them banned, I would like absolute accountability. But, as someone who actually lives in one of the areas the OP would be looking at, guns aren't a day to day reality. They're just not! And the OP's fear that random gunmen would enter her home at night equally isn't realistic.

Maybe if people didn’t ’wind their necks in’ things might change?

Ssys a lot about you as a person that guns aren’t an issue for you..

I

Guns
Women’s rights

I do find some of the comments from US residents on here rather aggressive.

Your child is more likely to die from being shot than any other cause of death. That’s your choice for living there. But to say guns are not a day to day reality is really just sticking your head in the sand about it.

This is why nothing changes in
the US and why hundreds of children will continue to die in their classrooms every year. Because none of you appear to give shit.

It's not Europe. That would probably be sufficient reason for me not to go for very long, but a year of two might be OK.

Me and my partner did 3 years in the US, East coast, CT and PA, it was a great experience if you have all the benefits of a corporate job or can negotiate a deal that works for you. But totally agree with all the things mentioned in @Bramblecrumb ‘s post.

We came home since I was got pregnant and had a baby there, that was very eye opening in terms of navigating the US health system. Some of it v good but it makes you appreciate the NHS!

I think if you’re younger and child free then it’s great but I wouldn’t want to raise a family there.

It’s interesting that the number one reason that most of us have for not moving to the USA is the gun culture. I have only been close to a real gun once in my life and that was in 1980 in rural France when I was on a French exchange trip. I am very thankful for this. There have been a few people here who have emigrated to the USA and are very happy there, which is great, and it is understandable that you feel very partisan towards your adopted country. However, there is no doubt that violent crimes, especially those involving guns are out of control in the USA. People who have lived there have told me that the news we see is only a fraction of what really goes on there. Even though we know that some states are safer than others, the fact is that it is possible to buy guns at Walmart along with your groceries and ordinary people seem to feel the need to keep at least one gun at home in case of “home invasions.” There appears to be no real desire for proper gun regulation, which is why every time a school shooting occurs “thoughts and prayers” are offered alongside hand wringing. Stereotypes exist for a reason and none of us wishes to send our children to school in the morning wondering if they will return in the afternoon or become yet another statistic in the terrifying gun crime levels. I have met many lovely people from the USA and am pleased to count some of them among my friends. However, nearly all Americans seem to have a blind spot when it comes to guns. It is not only people from the UK who are terrified of the gun culture there, but people from mainland Europe, Australia and New Zealand.

Oh, and I am a practicing Christian so fully value prayers. However, I do think that God expects us to take measures so that the chances of horrific events recurring are minimised as far as possible.

I work in the US for roughly 4 months every year, all over the place (NY, TX, NC, CA, etc., etc.) and without fail, on every trip, I can't wait to get away from the place. I honestly prefer Karachi, which I also visit for work every year.

Among the many reasons I would never move to the US:

Employee rights
Healthcare
Guns
The food quality (chlorinated, steroid filled meat, dangerous additives, sugar)
Cars
Self-congratulatory arrogance
Insincerity
Lack of humility
Lack of humour
Trump
Biden
Racism
Tipping culture
Religion
etc., etc., etc.

Healthcare- any little exceptions in clauses you didn’t think to cover then you’re doomed if you get that illness.
the lack of Historical buildings to the extent that we have
having to drive everywhere
different points of cultural reference making me feel homesick
feeling isolated from Europe
guns and also the views they have around guns
religion
food standards- as in ingredients that are banned here but not there
lack of knowledge from many about England would make me homesick
The prospect of getting lost in a national park!- there’s not a pub every five miles in the wilderness there haha!

Just being pragmatic I would check that the salary is enough not for here but for the US. It’s so much more costly to live there and you really do need to know that you can comfortably afford it.

Healthcare, healthcare, healthcare, and healthcare.
Some things are area specific - cost of living, regressive abortion laws, gun culture, trans madness, Bible belt mentality, but healthcare is messed up throughout.

🤔 “99%+ of people in the US are not affected by home invasions nor are their children killed in school shootings” isn’t exactly selling it to me?!

I know this thread is titled 'Reasons you wouldn’t move to US', but many of these comments are depressingly inaccurate and out of date.

So...assuming you would like advice from people who have moved here/live here I would start by saying it totally depends on the area of the US and even the state within the larger area. We moved a number of years ago to New England so I can only talk about my experience here. Your fears of missing family and not having Europe on your doorstep are totally valid. The others, I disagree with.

One of my kids has had one ALICE drill in their school since we have been here (and it is certainly not fear-mongering about possible school shooters). The others, never. We had more of them at their cosy little private prep school in Hampshire before we moved. I have zero concern about guns in my part of Massachusetts. I have never ever seen anyone with a gun. We don't even lock our front door.

Healthcare comes with our employment (we pay a portion out of our salaries) and yes co-pays and deductibles can add up but there is a cap on how much you'd ever have to pay in one year. And you get what you pay for - the service we have had has been incredible. I can get an appointment with my kids' paediatrician the same day, if needed. I wouldn't fault it at all.

My husband gets 4 weeks paid holiday plus 2 weeks sick pay (which people take as holiday). I get 8 weeks. It depends on your employer.

I have not found my area any more car-centric than the UK. If you live in a small town or large city you can walk everywhere. If you live in a more spread-out area it involves no more driving than the UK.

Food is expensive, but it is totally untrue that the quality is worse. I would say fresh produce is more varied and generally a higher quality than the UK. Eating out is expensive, but it's total rot that the restaurants are crap. Some are, just like the UK. Some are excellent.

I don't recognise the above comment about a live to work culture at all. And poor education? We are lucky to live in a wealthy area and our high property taxes go straight into the local public schools. I thought my high-schooler would find herself way ahead of her peers when she moved from a highly academic private school in the UK post GCSEs to an American public high school. I couldn't have been more wrong. In my experience the public school system here - again hugely caveated by which area you move to - is incredibly rigorous.

As someone said upthread, the US has a rich and varied landscape. I value having snowy winters and being less than an hour from a good ski slope; plus we have a guaranteed full 4 months of beach/pool weather in the summer.

I cannot speak for maternity leave.

Whether you move or not is of course a huge decision, but don't base it on out of date stereotypes. It's just not true.