To think we’ve got it wrong about gender identity in children

[Itsmyshadow]

I have a 9 year old daughter who doesn’t fit the typical gender stereotype for a girl. She loves football, gaming and Pokémon. From a very young age she’s liked “boys” things, has always gravitated towards friendships with boys, and between the ages of 4 and 7 was quite adamant that she was a boy not a girl.

As her mum I’ve therefore taken a keener interest in gender discussions and what children are told about gender than I otherwise would have. Being completely transparent for this thread, I would very much prefer she remains a girl as her life will be so much more straightforward if that is the case.

As parents we have therefore done everything we can to help her get comfortable in who she is as a girl. We focus on the success of women in sport as much as men, watch lots of women’s football and will be watching the women compete in the olympics and paraolympics and celebrating how well they all do (we will watch the men too). DD now plays for a girl’s football team and boy’s football team (having only previously played for the boys team), and through sport has has met and made friends with girls who are much more like her.

At present she is happily identifying as a girl. I know this is a very fragile status however.

This is why I am so annoyed that in schools, primary schools, children are being taught that people can change their gender. Last year at DD’s school they had a “Pride Day” and invited an external pressure group in to do workshops with the kids, in which they were told sex is “assigned at birth according to what a doctor observes” and were shown pictures of the man presenting in dresses and told people can change their gender. We opted DD out of this workshop, but another child told her afterwards that she was a boy and should change her gender.

Why are we telling school kids this who are too young to understand? I feel this does so much damage to kids like my DD.

Shouldn’t we stop promoting a trans ideology and instead be telling children that they can be whoever they want to be regardless of their biological sex?

I feel so much good could be done by overtly celebrating women’s achievements (including those who have excelled in sport or in the army) both overtly on International Women’s Day and more subtly e.g. setting a passage to read and answer questions on about Rosa Parks or the England Women’s Football team. Same for men, schools could really celebrate the successes of men who do not meet a traditional male stereotype.

If schools really focused on driving home the message that men and women can be whoever they want to be and that their sex does not constrain them, I really feel most of the gender uncertainty in young people would go away, and we could save young people a whole load of mental and potentially physical trauma.

I completely agree with this. My sister is a lesbian, she gravitated to boys toys etc. she finds this sort of thing really homophobic. Boys and girls can play with whatever they like. Gender is a social construct. Biological sex is determined at conception and is not assigned by a DR no one needs to change their sex, chopping off body parts is insane. The schools should not be bringing this stuff into school. Most of these people who end up in the trans ideology groups are simply gay. It's like a sick conversion therapy. Children are not trans, they are children. I hope these dreadful hormones are banned permanently. I really disagree with it. My son is autistic and has more female type of interests. He is himself m, I don't want so nutcase telling him he is a girl!

Yes, this is exactly what is going on. These men dress up ridiculously, they are not being female by doing that. I had a massive argument with one who said he was more of a woman than me because of his looks. I was furious. I have breast fed 4 children. My looks are not what's important. It really made me sick. 🤢

I was waiting for the bus after work which is near a very captured university and Pride had just been on. From my admittedly limited observation, the majority of the men that I could see that were dressed as 'women' had their hair in bunches, baby doll dresses, mary Jane shoes on...

Not saying every trans woman dresses like this but it's was quite the observation.

Twitter thread on materials in schools. This is indoctrination.

Caroline ffiske on X: "We need to continue to be shocked by this. It tells little girls they can become men and vice versa. It tells teenage girls to drop their guard around men behaving strangely in isolated situations. // Being taught at school, in textbooks, by established publishers. https://t.co/wx8L4tYhFu" / X

“Shouldn’t we stop promoting a trans ideology and instead be telling children that they can be whoever they want to be regardless of their biological sex?”

ABSOLUTELY THIS!!! 1000%

It enrages me that gender stereotypes are so often perpetuated through trans ideology. Be who you want to be and live how you want to live regardless of what reproductive parts you have.

That thread is chilling. So much damage being inflicted on children by all this.

As someone from the Caribbean, I found the first part of this article really interesting. When I was in secondary school in the 90s (all girls), eating disorders and self-harming were unheard of.

Moving to the UK and speaking to peers in the same age bracket as me, it was rife! I've always suspected it was more than simply increased awareness/more treatment.

Your daughter was me 50 years ago. Luckily there wasn't any toxic bollocks telling me I had an identity crisis.
My loving parents (pre-war generation) while socially conservative in lots of ways were totally relaxed and encouraging of me.
Tomboys were totally normal and had been part of popular culture for nearly 100 years when I was a kid.

What's extraordinary is this being introduced to children in schools, with no rigour whatsoever behind it.

There is no definition of what Gender Identity even means, beyond 'feelings' or relationship with gender stereotypes (which are very loose and nebulous to begin with). An assertion that everyone has a Gender Identity even when many say they don't feel this has any relevance to them.

I have seen lists of 72 and 100+ 'gender identities', presented as something we should be taking seriously, that read like the ramblings of someone off their head.

I wonder how all this slipped into the curriculum? Aren't there basic standards of sense and reason before we put things in front of kids?

Even at university it’s apparent that many students accept/believe what they’re taught. For example, that digitalisation of business is a necessary innovation. Start young enough and it will become progressively harder to teach critical thinking as opposed to blind acceptance of dogma. However that dogma is manifested. TRAs have cottoned on to that realisation v quickly.

Reaching young people is how you grow beliefs

Religion is a pretty good steadfast example of that

Start young enough and it will become progressively harder to teach critical thinking as opposed to blind acceptance of dogma.

This is incredibly concerning. Not just for this topic, but everything.

Reminds me of the Catholic Church in Ireland for most of the 20th century. In education, in social care, in hospitals, and exerting huge influence on politicians. Even banned and censored literature for many years.

What's extraordinary is this being introduced to children in schools, with no rigour whatsoever behind it.

I believe the DfE have amended their guidance on this now? Regardless, my school doesn't teach it. There is one lesson in our curriculum that mentions gender identity and its taught in a 'some people believe...' way (much like we teach religion) and everyone should be treated with respect regardless of our beliefs but absolutely none of the children buy into it as a thing.

“Shouldn’t we stop promoting a trans ideology and instead be telling children that they can be whoever they want to be regardless of their biological sex?”

This is what we teach and the childen are 100% on board with it.

Even in the lesson where we have to teach that 'some people believe' there is absolute outrage from the children that anyone would think only boys like x or only girls like y and that, if you like something stereotypically associated with the opposite sex that means you are actually the opposite sex.

Interestingly, none of the parents appear to buy into the trans nonsense either (it's not that sort of area).

So what we have is a school of 400+ children where not a single one identifies as trans and everyone is accepted as the boy/girl they are. Whatever their interests and where no one (parents, children and staff alike) believes that any child was born into the wrong body.

That’s reassuring, but doesn’t seem to be the case around here yet unfortunately. Have heard elsewhere though that the current teen generation are starting to find the gender stuff cringey and maybe that is one of the ways it will resolve itself. The dynamics of younger people kicking gender into touch are very different to the kind of generational stand off we are seeing now. 🤞