To wish Sir Keir and his wife would not hold hands when working

[BeaQuiet]

They've arrived in Washington DC on official business clutching hands like the Macrons, the Obamas and the Sussexes.

AiBU to find it a bit cringey?

And before anyone asks, yes I do have bigger things to worry about but I fancy a chat.

A good example?! We don't need to be hanging on to each other hands to be of value y'know.

Holding hands in private lovely, or when out and about in a private capacity. Not at work.

OP, you need a hobby. How about watching your neighbours from behind your net curtains? I'm led to believe that can be very satisfying.

Exactly. This is normal.

I spluttered my sandwich 🤣

Every single thing people do these days seems to be up for scrutiny and fault-finding, I don’t understand it.
How anyone can put a negative spin on someone holding hands with their own wife?

I do think it's a non-issue that they hold hands, but I also think spouses should stop going on these trips. It's a work trip, spouses don't usually go on work trips, often because they have their own job so can't. Yes they may be heads of state, but the spouses often have significant careers too, I don't think it should be expected that they attend. In the US I think the First Lady (or man, if there ever is one) has an official role, but we don't have that in the UK.

Thanks for letting us know that only young people should hold hands in public. I'm sure all of us older people who should be done with all that nonsense by now will take your memo to heart and stop all such embarrassing carry-on forthwith. 😂

You sound like you have a lot to learn about life.

Why not be there? It’s a freebie for her.
Would you turn down the chance?
She can wash her hands afterwards.
😉😁😁.

My parents hold hands at 92, and have their whole lives since they met at 8. My dh and I hold hands too—just this morning on the way out for coffee for example.

There is a lot of faux class policing here with the fuss over the Starmer’s holding hands. There is such a romance of british stiff upper lip/duty/unsentimental performance. Some if you say you want Starmer to be more authentically labour—like Labour must always be a coal miner with no education. If he showed up in braces and helped his missus down the stairs because she’d never been oot o the village would that be ok?

Anyway all this performative public stoicism is just the product of the upper class adoption of fake Roman cultural tropes to legitimize naked power and foster imperial goals.

Holding hands in public? Shock, horror, how non U.

My mum used to say, couples who act overly affectionate in public constantly are usually trying to hide the fact that there are problems in the marital home.

OMG! Married for almost 34 years and DH and I still hold hands. I shall divorce him forthwith.

I wonder how many threads there were when Boris Johnson paraded his latest 20 years' younger girlfriend around world leaders? At least Lady Starmer has a chance of being able to hold an intelligent conversation with the spouses of world leaders.

Seriously, the faux naivety on this thread and so many others is amazing. Have all the 'why has he taken his wife?' posters only just started following the news? Have they never opened a newspaper in real life or on line? This is not Starmer's socialist idea. Every PM takes their partners to these events and so do all the other world leaders.

The convention may be odd but it hasn't originated today.

And as for the handholding, maybe it is performative, but it's widely practised, by politicians of all political stripes. All the main party leaders in this country were filmed holding hands with their wives on the way to cast their ballots.

It’s SM. When I was growing up there was no SM so your thoughts and opinions either stayed in your head, expressed to friend or written in a letter ‘Angry from Tunbridge Wells’ style. It’s not healthy and I know I can also be a part of it (I’ve just been scornful of teeny bikini bottoms in another thread, a thought that would normally go no further than my own mind). 😁

It's interesting how quickly some people's response turned to crude images reflecting their view of a woman's role, even though we're discussing two people.

It's a convention but a strange one when you think about it and there is a sense of spouse as accessory. When he went to visit other parts of the UK the other day, did he take his wife and did we see photos of the two of them? This photo from Washington signifies something different, creating an image for media and public consumption of playing on big world stage at important event. The PM is not alone. He has an entourage of bag carriers, advisers, security etc and when he gets to Washington he has an ambassador and staff there. So he's not short of support and it's not necessary for the business of the visit. There may be some more social side to it with a dinner or similar but he'd have people with him there too, so he'd not be alone.

I agree, and also resent that we've probably paid not only for her jolly, but also for someone to look after the kids and provide security in their parents' absence.

I don't think it's cringey. When Trump walked in front of Queen Elizabeth now that was cringey.

As for those saying why does she have to go to the US. She's the first lady. She might not be PM but she is supporting her husband in his new role.

Agree. Cringe.

I doubt it’s much of a jolly. I imagine she’d much rather be at home.

I think the hand holding is a bit adolescent and unprofessional, but I agree with others that the bigger issue is what she's doing there at all. She holds no public office and nobody voted for her. If the genders were reversed, this would not happen.

I'm sure she could be. She's got a free trip to the US; I'd call that a jolly.

I don’t care that the Macrons, Sussexes or Obamas do it.

The PM is not there as part of a pair. Mrs PM is not the First Lady.

There is no 'first lady' in Britain. There never has been.

It's a sexist, archaic American term that we really don't need to import.

She was never a nurse. She was a lawyer then retrained as an OT. She’s part time. I imagine she’s taken unpaid leave.

Right on @DramaLlamaBangBang !

This post is the kind of tone policing that happens all the time when someone new comes into politics: women, POC, Labour. They are treated as “doing it wrong” for some subtle, minor, reason that is at once nothing and also blown up to enormous symbolic value.

In the US Mrs Obama was pilloried for being photographed in a sleeveless dress—popularized by Jackie Kennedy but a sign of a kind of unseriousness and unfitness when worn by the first African American first lady. Obama was attacked for wearing a tan suit. Or putting his feet up in the Oval office.

The accusation that Labour or women or POC don’t know how to comport themselves as representatives of the country is a kind of delegitimizing of democratic leaders who don’t come from traditional bastions of power—or who do (like keir starmer) but who represent constituents who may come from diverse backgrounds. This method of holding women, POC, new leaders to invisible standards of perfection is really dsmaging.

As Dramalama observed above the capers of Boris Johnson were not as despised as the mere handholding incident.
As for the sudden cost consciousness (I object to my tax money paying for her!) why don’t you investigate? In the US there are quite strict rules about who pays for what when the families of politicians are involved. Usually these expenses must be paid for by the politician. But if you look closely at press coverage you will see that its only an issue when outsider/democratic politicians take office. Both the Clintons snd the Obamas were badgered snd put under a microscope for things like a playset for their children (they paid) when no stories were written about household costs at sll for the republican presidents.

I don't even hold hands with my husband when out walking. Always think it looks like someone being taken out for a walk.