What's your secret, selfish fantasy life?

[hairymclary45]

I preface this by saying I love my dh and my dc very much and I know I'm lucky to have them and a job and a roof over our heads etc etc etc.

However my entire life revolves around my obligations to everyone else. Work, clubs, housework, weekends taken up with kids parties or activities. No childcare so dh and I rarely get a break.

I would never wish their childhood away but sometimes (egged on by instagram probably) I think about a selfish, solitary life and what it would look like for me.

I've decided I'd love a very small cottage or flat. Our house is big but full of clutter and crap. I love the idea of having a tiny space where everything I own is either necessary or precious. I would live somewhere in the country, maybe a little market town where I could take myself out early for a lovely walk in nature with my dog. Then go to an independent cafe for a breakfast and coffee. I'd go home, light a fire, read and watch tv all day. Then I'd have a nice bath, get myself dolled up and go to a local pub to watch the football and have a meal.

In reality I'd probably enjoy this for a day or so before I'd miss my kids and my ridiculously busy routine. But it made me wonder what everyone else's dream, selfish, solo life would be.

I have a Pinterest board dedicated to my fantasy one woman (and cat) cottage.

Can't bloody sleep so here I am on MN dreaming of a different life 🙂
Mine is absolutely bonkers but you did ask!
House by the sea or in Jersey. Teaching yoga when I feel like it. Drinking lots of herbal tea and reading hundreds of books. Having the time to make a big salad. I'd have a few dogs and I'd take them running with me.

Funny how they all sound similar to mine.

Mine includes taking my kids with me though, move to a small coastal village, job working in a cafe or shop, dog who I would call Brinkley (same as my first dog 🥰).

Lots of walking by the sea, it’s where I feel most peaceful. and all the books I want on a beautiful bookcase.

If I had an AGA and another loo I'm sure my life would be complete.

I think some women - especially married with kids - sometimes dream of a nomadic hippy kind of lifestyle, living in a little beach hut alone, (with the beach hut elevated a bit so the sea doesn't come in,) looking across the bay/the sea, and with lots of books, and cats.

They dream of walking through the sand with their bare feet, with the breeze wafting through their hair, and their long flowing hippy dress cascading around their soft, warm legs. They see themselves sitting on a chaise longue reading a magazine, supping a glass of wine, and watching the sun set over the sea as they drift off to sleep with their cat on their lap.

It is a fantasy and the stuff films are made off. And it would be OK for a week. The reality would be quite different, as the novelty would soon wear off. Basically, the vast majority of women would get bored, and crushingly lonely. Personally, I would miss my friends, my family, my kids, my DH, my neighbours, going to the shops, meeting people for coffee and pub lunch, and the routine of my part time WFH job - which I actually do like.

Whilst I like my own company - I would not want to be alone all the time - ever. I love my family and friends. I love my husband. I love my children. And I would NEVER wish for a different life.

I'd just like a house, and a dog.

I'm 90% living my dream life which is no stress, no drama, I'm living on mu own so all the freedom I have to do what I like when I like.

Only 10% I'd change is if my house could be with a coastal view with amazong sunsets and no neighbours right next door. I thin california is where I'd go lol

I fancy the life you read so often in chick lit books. I'd open a tea shop/cafe/bookshop in Cornwall, have loads of spare time despite owning said shop and everyone is super friendly and nothing bad ever happens. 🤣

This. ^ It's a chick-lit life that (some) women dream of.

It doesn't exist in real life!

I'd live on a barge with no garden, just some very hardy beautiful potted plants. And only cook if I absolutely felt like it which would maybe be once a fortnight. The cats can come too, but no-one else.
Obviously I'm independently wealthy and only work occasionally because I want to, similar to the cooking!

I'd live in a mansion and have housekeepers, a chef and I'd swan about in stunning outfits and go to loads of amazing events (driven by my chauffeur of course).
I'd be super slim and healthy and never have to lift a finger!

(I'm typing this while looking at the massive pile of laundry I have to put away tomorrow 😑)

In my fantasy life, I have an amazing old
fashioned townhouse terrace in a big city. It’s small, but full of period features and no one else knows the address. It has a claw foot bath, wooden floors, book cases and an enormous bed. Interesting art and furniture with history, so it is really cosy, but no clutter.
Now and again I arrive there after a busy time or a big deadline and unfurl for a weekend. Have a long bath, eat simple, but grown up, food in my cosy little kitchen, then go to bed with my book and sleep for as long as I need.
Then I return to my normal life 😂

Easy to maintain flat , top floor of 3 , with amazing balcony over beach . A beautiful white linen sofa you can sink into. I'd walk my easy friendly well behaved dog on beach wearing long skirt , hoodie and plimsoles. Go to lovely cafe for coffee then to market to buy fresh food, cook a nice lunch for myself then snuggle on sofa on balcony reading. Maybe swim in sea in afternoon before going out to meet friends in lovely upmarket beach bar, drink posh chilled rose then back to crisp sheets for lovely sleep... aah

Not a fantasy life but a fantasy fortnight. I’d check into the Premier Inn up the road. Have breakfast & sleep & read all day & then go somewhere interesting to eat. On my own.

Last November, I walked a stretch of the Fife Costal Path on a brilliantly sunny Saturday in November and fell in love with a part of the world which was entirely new to me, but seemed just like a version of picturesque Cornwall without the crowds.

Anyone I've mentioned it to has recommended that I experience a winter there before making any decisions.

In my fantasy, I seriously declutter my current home, rent it out to finance a 'granny annex' in the village where I have lived for decades and expected to be here til the end. And spend the balance on a one bed ex-fisherman's cottage in the Fife Costal path with a beautiful east facing view of the Firth of Forth and across the water to Edinburgh.

(Anyone who spots the bending of geographical rules for an east facing view here is politely reminded this is my fantasy. And I might compromise on Limekilns, anyway)

Beautiful whitewashed exterior with a riot of geraniums and calm, sparce scandi bleached wood interior. And an amazing shower in a beautiful bathroom. Early morning visits to the recently refurbished sea swimming pool at Cellardyke and Fish and Chips in Anstruther.

So far, the only steps I have taken are to fill up my social media feed with walking groups who bag several Monro in a morning's walk. I think but have not investigated that I could move my designated office location to our Edinburgh office. Such a beautiful city. Sigh.

Oh, and the reason I know it's fantastic that I always allow for an automatic irrigation system for the geraniums.... in case they dry out in the abundant sunshine.

I love my family but I often have a silly fantasy of quitting my job, living in the Lake District and creating artwork.
Again, sounds great but I’d probably miss my family after a day and would only enjoy the peace for a short time!

I’ve always said if I were single I would probably just have carried on travelling around the world and teaching English as I did in my early-mid 20s, though by the time I came back to the UK I was completely exhausted and fed up of the nomadic, no money lifestyle.

A house in the Lake District, with a (very low maintenance) garden with outside seating and beautiful views. More dogs. A handsome man to walk and have occasional sleepovers with, but not all the time. A well-stocked library room, a Belfast sink and an aga. Maybe a Saturday job so I could meet people/have some social interaction, and because I hate walking on Saturdays when there are lots of people.

Fantasy evening would be me checking into a hotel with a comfy bed, Netflix, nice bathtub and room service. Getting a massage and being able to sleep until the next afternoon.

I have a small breastfed baby, so it would never happen, and I’d miss her too much if I actually did this, but I often find myself waking up in the morning having dreamt about getting a solid 10 hours of sleep 😴

Mine involves living in a cottage near a beach where there's a cafe overlooking the sands.
I've got a really well behaved golden retriever that doesn't moult, and I help out at the beach cafe some days (but I don't need the money).
I've also got a FWB situation going on with a local builder who does all the jobs round my house 😂

Italy. Buying fresh from the market every day. Swimming the sea. Eating well and live well. Reading, learning to speak Italian, writing.

I'd invite friends to stay from time to time, but not for longer than a week.

I have a small but lovely flat in London, top floor of a Georgian terrace, which is always immaculately clean and tidy and expensively furnished and has a balcony overlooking a beautiful communal garden. I go to the theatre several nights a week and usually have two guys on the go at any one time. I cook from scratch every night and go to the local cafe every morning for coffee, which they have waiting for me. There’s a wine merchants next door who know me by name and always have something new and delicious for me to try. I do my current job but for a more successful organisation and I’m hugely in demand.

I'm childfree, and my weekends are pretty much as you describe. My fantasy is to emigrate somewhere like Canada, live near a lake or the sea, and spend my weekends in nature/skiing. I'd take DH and the dog but I'd quite happily leave everyone else behind, I'd be fine living a solitary life.

I once sat in a restaurant in the Lake District on a weekend break commenting to DH how nice it must be to live there. 2 mins later a (local) woman at a nearby table started moaning to her husband “oh yeah I totally agree it’s lovely when the sun’s out. But how often does that happen? 90% of the time it’s just grey, rainy, cold. God, it’s just so depressing, it really gets me down. It’s dreary. I just need to go and live somewhere warm. I just don’t think I can stand to live here for the rest of my life, I’ll go mad.”

Grass is always greener….