To find this really weird and annoying

[user29863]

Even if I am being unreasonable, I think I should get some credit for my diagram, which I am super proud of.

We live in a small neighbourhood full of older retired people who seem very concerned with our garden weeds and (perfectly legal) parking and whether our bins are visible etc. Mentioning age incase it's a generational thing; mentioned their concerns as it explains why they visit frequently. We also live in a bungalow, on an estate full of bungalows. We're in a cul-de-sac, right at the end, with nothing to one side of us except a dead end. We are quite young with a new baby and a not quite perfect garden, but we're genuinely not awful neighbours and our house is clean and tidy inside and out; it just isn't Privet Drive standards because we're busy.

For some reason, when our neighbours need to collect a parcel, or helpfully remind us to use weed killer on the 3 dandelions on our lawn, they always use our back door. To do this, they need to walk past our perfectly good front door (which we always use), and past our bedroom and bathroom windows. Our garden is really private and so we should technically be able to shower without the blinds closed and merrily walk around our bedrooms naked, but this habit of the neighbours seems really intrusive and stops me dancing around my bedroom, breasts akimbo. Our neighbours are well aware of they layout of our house because theirs are all identical. I don't know if they are trying to get their steps in or just be nosy, but it seems really unneccessary to do this, and I'm super annoyed by it. DP is unbothered by it. I realise the solution is to put a gate on the side of our house but I'm on maternity leave and money is tight.

So, is this a normal thing people do and IABU, or is this weird?

Fab diagram; not to lower the tone but the name you gave the ‘back entrance’ made me snigger 🤭. No wonder they keep trying to use it!

Failing that, a big notice at the start of the sideway telling them to use the front door.

Yes, this - big bold printed A4 sign - but then, if they ignore it, print off a second one and stick it up next to the first one. Every time they ignore it, double the number of identical signs - like you see on the windows of closed-down shops when the circus is coming to town.

Will they get the message with 4 signs? 8? 16? 32? 1,024?!

Or you could just print off a single sign to stick up on the back door saying 'All visitors: please use the front door' - with an arrow directing them back the way they came.

People will still ignore any signs that you put up - salespeople also still knock in spite of clear signs saying not to - but it's satisfying to be able to point to them and humiliate them for their obvious stupidity educate them for a future occasion!

Ask them to use the front door or get a side gate.

First of all, I am impressed that you can stop your breasts from being akimbo, especially after having a baby. We have a similar problem here in that the house next door was rebuilt and their back door now faces on to our non-frosted window bathroom. There is at least a hedge in the way but the odd nipple (in fact they are probably both odd) could be seen through the leaves, especially if the doves have been hauling them about (the leaves not the nipples) trying to make a nest. I say, blow it, there house was built after ours and I'm not paying for new windows. I would imagine that if you were dancing about, with a dandelion over each errr... zone, it might be enough to put them off doing it and would be worth it for the rumours.

Exquisite diagram- especially the amended boobs akimbo version 👏 It must just be the done thing in the cul-de-sac, but as a fellow naked in the house person, I would also be annoyed by this.

I think I would start opening the front door and calling hello when they come knocking at the back. Stand your ground and they will have to nosey on back around to the front. Tell them your back door is jammed so can they please use the front. Rinse and repeat until they change their back door ways?

Also I could not be arsed with them telling me to use weed killer! Tell them the weeds are good for insects and you're leaving them intentionally (and to piss off being such busy bodies 🤣)

Although I also really like Fraebonniebentos' idea of 1,024 A4 signs...

Can't you just ask them to use the front door? And then not answer if the knock at the back door. Open a window and shout out 'go round the front please!' Also, if they tell you off about dandelions, point out that these are pollinators and good for wildlife and weedkiller is toxic to the environment!

Can you get a planter or plant pots and fill them with wildflowers or conifers or roses to stop them getting down the side? Then prioritise getting a fence and gate put in as you will need to secure the garden for the baby at some point.

With the rest of the garden and it's appearance, it's up to you, it's your house and if you're happy with how it looks, then leave it.

Some people like neat and tidy, some people like wild and natural and some people don't care and leave it to look like it's abandoned.

I'm the type that has a wildflower garden, I leave some weeds but I make sure things like paths and steps are weed free and in good condition to avoid the abandoned house look

That diagram OP chef's kiss

Awards OP a for the diagram!

I know things are tight but I really would consider a side gate as a bloody good investment.

Our garden is really private and so we should technically be able to shower without the blinds closed and merrily walk around our bedrooms naked, but this habit of the neighbours seems really intrusive and stops me dancing around my bedroom, breasts akimbo

Or just do this anyway - see if that solves the problem......

Oh my God @user29863 I am having the most stressful day and I just saw this and it has MADE MY LIFE.

I love you ❤

It's worth keeping an eye on your local auction house. Ours regularly has garden gates. Don't normally go for more than a few pounds.

We had a similar issue with DPIL. Lovely people generally but decided that going to the back door was more 'friendly'. After one close call DH installed a padlocked back gate!

A simple (large font) sign with ‘Private, please use front door’ might do the trick until you can get a gate fitted.

Excellent depiction of you, boobs akimbo.

Rude CF's coming to your back door.
Ignore it and put a sign. "Only front door answered."
Stop taking their parcels.
Be very frosty if they mention weeds. "I'm busy, goodbye" slam door shut.
Cf's.

Fxxk off gates and the best things ever...and a video bell.

What everyone else said. Your neighbours are annoying, busybody arses.
Incidentally, I have never understood the MN obsession with diagrams. Until now.

Pointedly and consistently use the front door and call them to you. If they ask why, get into it with them; if not, just keep doing it.
Anything about weedkiller, nod and say 'thanks' vaguely and carry on as normal (they'd have conniptions at my garden).
And just go about breasts akimbo anyway. Sod em!

PS that's not a diagram, more an architect's elevation. Masterful. I applaud you.

For me the gate is SO worth the investment. it puts a stop to it immediately .We had to do the same when we moved here over 20 years ago because of similar issues with neighbours, strangers, delivery drivers and other issues besides. People wanted to cut across our unfenced front garden along the side of our house and through our back garden passing very close by my bedroom window (bungalow) because "they'd always done it" . Polite requests were ignored and so fences and gates were put in place, issue sorted.

I should add that tall gate on the side is bolted top and bottom to completely stop them giving themselves access .some neighbours are CF's

That would drive me nuts OP! You’ve got to say something to them re using front door or block off your back garden somehow. Even if you use tape until you’ve got a gate.

P.s my son found some luminous yellow tape which had the words ‘no entry’ & ‘enter at your own risk’ with skulls on that he used in his den last year. Perhaps you can get similar to tie across the entry! 😆

What's wrong with dandelions?

100% get a gate fitted.
Whilst you are waiting for funds to do this, just walk round naked in your own home and if they walk round the back and see you, they will maybe realise how much of an invasion of privacy they are.
We have annoying nosy neighbours and my husband said next time he catches them peering over the fence into our kitchen he's putting porn on the kitchen TV......

Maybe the neighbours think they will wet the bed if they inadvertently touch them 😂