To find this really weird and annoying

[user29863]

Even if I am being unreasonable, I think I should get some credit for my diagram, which I am super proud of.

We live in a small neighbourhood full of older retired people who seem very concerned with our garden weeds and (perfectly legal) parking and whether our bins are visible etc. Mentioning age incase it's a generational thing; mentioned their concerns as it explains why they visit frequently. We also live in a bungalow, on an estate full of bungalows. We're in a cul-de-sac, right at the end, with nothing to one side of us except a dead end. We are quite young with a new baby and a not quite perfect garden, but we're genuinely not awful neighbours and our house is clean and tidy inside and out; it just isn't Privet Drive standards because we're busy.

For some reason, when our neighbours need to collect a parcel, or helpfully remind us to use weed killer on the 3 dandelions on our lawn, they always use our back door. To do this, they need to walk past our perfectly good front door (which we always use), and past our bedroom and bathroom windows. Our garden is really private and so we should technically be able to shower without the blinds closed and merrily walk around our bedrooms naked, but this habit of the neighbours seems really intrusive and stops me dancing around my bedroom, breasts akimbo. Our neighbours are well aware of they layout of our house because theirs are all identical. I don't know if they are trying to get their steps in or just be nosy, but it seems really unneccessary to do this, and I'm super annoyed by it. DP is unbothered by it. I realise the solution is to put a gate on the side of our house but I'm on maternity leave and money is tight.

So, is this a normal thing people do and IABU, or is this weird?

Nothing to add to what everyone else has said, I'm just here for the diagram. Move on...

My grandma had a weird aversion to her front door like it was reserved for a potential royal visit, and everyone encouraged to use yhe back, so perhaps it is generational but she'd be well over 100 now amd her house layout was odd too - even the front door was more on one side.

Love the toadstools in your garden!

I am a Southerner (I lived in the Midlands and abroad for some years but am definitely culturally an English Southerner) and I would find this weird and annoying and a massive invasion of privacy too.

I would congratulate you on your diagram but wouldn't want all this praise to go to your head 😉

Thanks OP I needed cheering up today, top notch diagram, made even better by naked dancing

I think it is! I had GP’s that lived in Yorkshire and none of the neighbours used the front door, only the back. In fact I don’t think I ever heard the front door bell ring apart from if it was someone official.

I'm just here for diagram updates.

Brava OP. Exceptional work!

PS yes it's odd and annoying

First class diagram OP!

I'm with the large, heavy pot in middle of side access, possibly something spikey like pyrocantha in case they decide to try and move it. It might just be custom and practice but given the fact you are already (understandably) off by their Privet Drive ways, can see why you want it to stop.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful artwork. I was going to give it 10/10, but then you added the naked lady. It now has to be a strong 11/10.

Your diagram 🌟!
Dandelions bothering them? Moot the idea that you’re happy to have a rabbit and rabbit run in the front garden.
Install a ring doorbell and through the app tell them to use the front door if they so much as venture past it.
(I’m in their age group btw and having fun here.)

Yes I was horrified by this when I moved here. I was told I was wrong and it was much nicer, much friendlier. I put up with it at my last house but when I moved I set very firm boundaries with my neighbours. I do not want to hear "Yoo Hoo!" and see Mrs Smith banging on my kitchen window when I am staggering around the kitchen at 8am!

Also, I remember Bill Bryson confirming my "it's a Yorkshire thing" suspicions in one of his books....... He was caught nude by a neighbour from memory (I read it 25 years ago so could be wrong!)

The solution is to just speak. You know, like tell them not to go round the back. No fence. No gate. Just a few movements of the tongue around the inside the mouth to make a few words. That's right. Words.

Normal to use the back door where I live.

Just when I thought the diagram couldn't get any better, you added boobs akimbo. Fabulous😂

Given your excellent diagrams and lack of resource to buy a gate, there is only one solution:

You need to turn this into a sport with ever increasing and weird obstacles (a slalom of garden gnomes, a loosely strung line of eye height big knickers, crime scene tape?).

Please report back with more diagrams and how successful your neighbour has been.

This has made me so happy 😂

Tell them to use your front door and outline the reasons in the diagram 😂😂😂

Enlarge the diagram (boobie person included) and put it on the path…let the neighbours study it and try finding their way to your front door…like a map.

Sparky responses are not allowed for OPs who do such exceptional diagrams (especially if they have naked dancing lady)

I read the OP and thought 'bet she's in Yorkshire!'

And, my word, your diagram is a thing of beauty.

Sounds like a nosey neighbour, put a little note on back door stating you only answer front door.

Good god, the diagram was improved. Joyful naked lady now the unofficial mascot of MN? She looks like she should be carved into a chalk hillside somewhere.

My grandparents’ (then my dad’s) place in Dorset. was identical to this. A cul de sac of bungalows where the front doors were for post and formal visits by strangers only. Not years ago, until last year when he died. They left the back door unlocked and it had a handle on the outside. Neighbours and other regular deliverers Eg. Milkman would always come to the back, knock briefly and then just open the door and come in. As a Londoner it would really startle me.

Just like your house, it was far longer to go to the back of the house. I couldn’t work out why they did it as it wasn’t that convenient to walk around their house, not to mention not allowing privacy etc. It seemed to me like the front door was like the front parlour. A space saved for formal occasions only. A neighbour using the front door would seem rude and pushy.

OP I think it must be a cultural/generational thing rather than your neighbours being weird. Just tell them what you prefer though and ignore the lawn thing!

Yes, Yorkshire born and bred. Always the back door. The front door was never used. However, how do I start a vote calling for you to be the official diagram drawer on Mumsnet???

haha yep OP I agree - diagram of the year award goes to you! Definitely generational I think. I would put a fence or at the very least some big old spiky plants (or perhaps the bins) down the side so they can't walk down to get to your back door. When they do knock on the back door, I would open the front door and just shout 'Helloooooooooo, come round the front!' or something like that.

Very weird and you need to say something. Also maybe a way to deter is by adding a side fence, with gate locked from the garden side, for safety when you have a toddler.. (have only read OPs posts so probably has already been mentioned!)