To not want my children in wraparound care?

[doyouhaveanything]

There’s no way to avoid it of course unless I give up work until my youngest is leaving primary but does anyone else hate the thought of wraparound care? The school day is long enough for little ones and I feel guilty. I know I wouldn’t have liked it.

My DD has requested to go to extra school clubs after school rather than come home with me, I think it depends what the care is like.

It's not ideal for most kids, but needs must for most parents.

Could you look into an after school nanny or babysitter?

Our twins really hated after school club, despite having been in nursery til 6pm 4x a week. We instead got an afterschool nanny. I know obviously this isn’t in everyone’s reach, but a nanny share substantially reduces the cost.

Some children love wraparound care. If they also have friends going, it’s pretty much a play date before and after school.

No, I never felt guilty or hated the thought. DS liked being surrounded by children of all different ages, and was fond of the staff, and it never even occurred to me to curtail my workday, though DH and I flexible enough between us not to need wraparound every weekday.

I think that would just be more stress than it’s worth: they inevitably would leave / get ill / have own children.

It’s interesting some children love it, I hope mine do. I just feel guilty at the thought of their friends being picked up and they have to stay.

Some kids love it, others don't. See how yours go. If it doesn't work you'll have to reconsider your set up.

No, everyone else simply loves the idea of it!

🙄🙄🙄

not all kids hate it, if you find somewhere they enjoy. If you find the right place it's a chance to play with friends after school, have breakfast with friends etc

when we moved we had to have wrap around care, over the few years of it there was definitely fun/ok/boring/horrible.

Can you drop a few hours? do a couple of compressed days/early finishes? Your partner?? Is there a friends mum you could 'share' with??

try as hard as you can to find a situation they'll enjoy, but whatever you need to do, you'll have to do & they'll be fine. Honest!

I’m not a fan but sometimes you have to. I try and WFH when I can and pick DC up earlier and let them chill at home

As a child, I was dropped off before school at my friend's house and went to school with her. Came home with her and was looked after by her granny until my mum picked me up. Worked well.

Would something like that work?

Lots of people on here seem to feel the same way.

My kids are very happy to go - upping their days next year and they were both very enthusiastic.

At our school, there are a mix of activities on offer - sports, craft, and a quiet corner.

@doyouhaveanything

its 'more stress than it's worth' to find a solution that makes your child happy??

you can't feel that bad about it then

My sister has used that a reason not to work since she split with her husband. Her kid was 4 at the time. She wouldn't countenance after school club even on 1 day so she can work. She chooses not to work as she said its cruel for the child.

Well OK but child is now nearly 11 and going to secondary school next year and the reality is my sisters been out of work so long I doubt she'd get back in easily.

As an only child I actually think she wouldn't have minded more contact with children after school. Play time stops when you go home as tou have no one to play with.

This is exactly what it is if their friends go. My son would gladly go to teatime club on the days I don't work, because they all play football and hockey and table tennis and have lots of space and get fed toasted cheese sandwiches.

A quiet child who doesn't do well in a loose social situation might be better with a childminder, but I would try the school provision first.

We ended up with a cm but probably not one ofsted rated highly. She offered activities but I said, if they wanted to chill in front of the tv after school I was fine with that as I wanted it to be a home from home rather than am extension of school. Dc still run up and hug her years later. They have happy memories. But that was from age 8, before that I worked 30 hours and finished in time to collect them.

My eldest GC hated it, we ended up swapping things around so mum went to compressed hours and picked them up one day, I could do two days and my DH tried to do the other two, he is disabled so not always possible.

Younger 2 GC love it and complain they can't do it every day.

Hard to predict these things so best to give it a go and be prepared for a rethink if it is really bad.

My son loved it and his closest friends are ones who did the same. I went back to work when he was 10 months 3 days a week and used to drop him at nursery around 08:15 and collect him about 17:15. When he started school aged 4 it was more of an 08:00 drop off and 17:30 pick up. He was always very happy and made lots of friends. He's very sociable and well-adjusted and has always coped well with the long days. He had a lot of fun in after-school club.

But it can be the other way around - they can disappointed that their friends stay and play and they have to go home

It's not more school, if it's well run, it's fun

Mine loved it. Was in it all through primary school, had fun every day, loved the staff and went with her friends. She’s really sad to be leaving them all now.

I’m a lone parent - without it there would be no job for me, no good salary coming in, no holidays etc. it’s really not a bad thing. They could play what they wanted, chill out, have snacks. The staff were caring and fun. I think it’s worth giving it a go to see if they enjoy it, as plenty of kids do.

I felt like that when i got a job that required it during autumn term, and rushed to collect as early as possible... until he asked me to let him stay and play longer!
I'm trying to wangle an early finish once a week from September so I can pick him up and have the chance to know his new teacher, but it's more for me than him at this point.

I’m part time so they only have to go two days per week.

My DS tells me off for collecting him too early from after school club. He loves it.

He's also never had an issue with some kids getting collected straight after school. He understands that some parents work 🤷🏼‍♀️

It depends on the area but, in our case, almost all my son's friends go to teatime club because their parents work. Even if they WFH they use teatime club because the children enjoy it and it is good value. I would say most of my son's school friendships have been built there, and these are the same families who want to do weekend playdates and carpool for swimming and cubs etc.

Monday to Thursday I would say less than half the class are collected at 3:20.

That's a bit harsh.

If OP has to work, she needs solid, reliable childcare. If you're fully reliant on one person, you're buggered if they're unwell etc.