To not want my children in wraparound care?

[doyouhaveanything]

There’s no way to avoid it of course unless I give up work until my youngest is leaving primary but does anyone else hate the thought of wraparound care? The school day is long enough for little ones and I feel guilty. I know I wouldn’t have liked it.

My ds loved after school club. They came from class, had a snack, went out and played football and tig in the playground until hometime.
He loved the winter days when they could stay outside as it was getting dark, he enjoyed the warm summer days.

There were indoor activities too for less outdoorsy kids or those who wanted some calm time after school. They had reading tents and craft tables and homework tables and all sorts.

I hope it works out well for you op

I'm a single parent and hated the idea of it. My son is actually now attending his wrap around care some days in the holidays as he loves it so much. He doesn't need to go as I work term time but he enjoys it and being with his friends. It's a good way to wind down after the school day ours is fab they offer a range of activities plus get dance, football coaches etc to come in, ask kids regularly for suggestions and they ran a show last term too.

Ds did not enjoy breakfast club so much though. Maybe you can juggle your time a bit depending on what he enjoys or doesn't. It still takes ds ages to get going in the mornings so breakfast club was never going to be a hit with him

It's worth finding out more about how it's run at your school. For reception children, ours are taken out before collection so they don't get upset seeing other parents and are also kept in a separate smaller annexe off of the main hall so that it's not too boisterous/loud for them. The staff also do specific crafts at Christmas and other events which the children really enjoy.

Everyone has to do what they have to do but yes I hated the thought of that too and luckily I am in a position to not have to. I've worked part time school hours /been SAHM/volunteer.

My reception age child loves it and will opt to go even if I can pick her up (they do loads of crafts which she really enjoys).
My older dd didn’t enjoy it though. Totally depends on the child and whether their friends are at the club with them!

Also at our school around half the class are in the ASC queue at the end of the day so she feels like she’s missing out on playtime if she doesn’t go!

We did a mix of after school club and coming home and staying with a neighbour for a day or two each week. In return I dropped their kids off at school for them.

Our kids have both been with a childminder since they turned 1 and she will be providing their wrap-around care. We drop them off with her in the morning, she does the school run, picks them up and then they chill at her house until we pick them up around 5 pm.

Maybe look into more relaxed options in your area (like childminders). It's much more home from home so they can start unwinding properly after school.

So what do you do at the moment if you work?

Presumably the actual hours you work and hence you need childcare are not changing....just how that is provided. So I don't see the problem.

There are many different forms of Wraparound care including school run, private after school clubs, childminders, nannies, au pairs and you could include relatives....the actual day and hours awake are the same.

My kids loved the CM and the school club.
Even on days I did collect them they wanted to go to the park or on a play date.

My DD loves it. Loads of her friends go, has a great time playing. I’ve no choice but to work full time. I honestly have no idea why some parents are so against it.

Don’t feel guilty. DD has been going to afterschool club three times a week for 4 years. She loves it. At first I’d try and get to her as quick as possible but she soon told me to come as late as I could so she didn’t miss x/y/z.

As others say, it’s like a play date after school. She gets to play, do crafts, run around on the school field, Lego etc. She also has friends from other year groups from attending after school club.

Not all kids will love it, but fingers crossed yours do.

OP, you have a reason why every solution offered won’t work. if you want to give up work until your children are in secondary school, just own that.

Your children will be fine in wraparound, especially if you are part time and it’s only a couple of days a week.

DS moans more about me picking him up and dragging him to swimming lessons, he’d far rather stay in football club or general ASC as it is basically playing with their friends/colouring in/watching a movie.

Usually if it school provision they are collected from the classroom before others are let out...or however it works. They rarely sit and wait while others leave.
For CMs and outside clubs they get collected like everyone else.

Mine used to go to a lovely childminder who picked up at school.
Much better for quieter children. The school nearby does wraparound and it sounds hectic at times. Probably stressful for the kids who will be tired.

3 days of wrap around really is nothing to feel guilty about- don’t overthink it. It is probably actually better for many kids as they tend to be active and not on a screen. There will be many things as working parent you’ll feel guilty about so you have to toughen up a bit otherwise the guilt will eat you up over the next decade.

@Saschka … huh? I’m not posting for ‘solutions’ - it’s fairly simple isn’t it? Either I don’t work (not ideal) or they have to do after school clubs (also not ideal.) It’s reassuring and nice to read many children enjoy it. That’s all really.

My kids absolutely love after schools. 🤷‍♀️

I am not sure what you want then?
It's unreasonable to have had children and expect to be able to work and also not use any childcare of any type.

Yes
People do....
It actually happens very rarely but most reputable employers have allowances for such emergency gaps in childcare.
If you are relying on school the rest of the time you are going to struggle.
What will you do in school holidays?
What will you do if your child is sick?
What will you do if the school has to close due to a heating issue or a flood?

OP I’m genuinely a bit confused through about why this is causing you such a dilemma. What do you think is bad about 3 days of wrap-around? You’ll have 2 days when you could do play dates, chill out time etc after school which will give a really nice balance. Realistically what do you think you/they are missing out on for the other 3? They’ll be playing with their friends and having fun.

I’ve seen lots of posts on mumsnet where there seems to be a presumption that childcare is bad. Often it’s actually really good for children giving them more opportunities and variety than they might have otherwise had.

Admittedly I wouldn't necessarily want my DC to go to both breakfast and after-school club 5 days a week and to spend more time with our kids both DH and I have taken steps to reduce our working hours. However we have obviously lost income as a result and I know plenty of people who make good use of wraparound care and work more and I don't doubt their children are happy and it works for them etc.

I also went to after-school club myself a couple of days a week in junior school for a couple of years and whilst I didn't love it, I didn't particularly dislike it either.

Our plan was to have DC1 at breakfast and after-school club 2 days a week as we need wraparound for them but my DPs kindly offered to do it instead, so that's been what's happened throughout reception. Next year I and DH will alternatively be off on shared parental leave the whole academic year except the first few weeks so we will do it ourselves then. The following year they will go to the wraparound as planned unless my DPs offer to do it again, which obviously they may not, circumstances could be totally different by then, who knows.

It isn’t exactly causing me a dilemma. It’s more that I have two contradictory desires - I want to be around for my children but I also want to work and have my own money. Sometimes they aren’t easy bedfellows.

It’s probably beneficial to be able to do the pick up once (or twice) a week. That’s when you can meet the other parents and have play dates, go to the park with friends after school etc This is especially true when they are just starting school & haven’t got established friendships.

My daughter really enjoys it, her after school club is run really well, they also have incentives for good behaviour etc. She's an only child and it means she can mix with all different ages across the school and gives her an extra sense of inclusion in school. She's been using it since starting reception at age 4.
Last year at a local fair I saw her playing so nicely and looking after a little boy on the fun house, it was lovely to see, turns out he is also a regular at after school club.
They do baking, crafts, games, end of term themed parties, laser tag etc. They also provide a timetable of activities/dinner plans so we both know what's going on for the week. If I were to pick her up after school she'd no doubt only be watching telly when we got home so I feel no guilt at all! No screen time at after school club! Lots of her friends go so to be honest it works like an after school play date 😂 Nine times out of ten if I can get out of work early to pick her up she moans at me for early pick up 🤦🏼‍♀️
Honestly its just play and socialising for a few hours after school, and if they are tired they can chill and read etc. No reason to feel guilty!