To not want my children in wraparound care?

[doyouhaveanything]

There’s no way to avoid it of course unless I give up work until my youngest is leaving primary but does anyone else hate the thought of wraparound care? The school day is long enough for little ones and I feel guilty. I know I wouldn’t have liked it.

My first thought is to agree, but then again my DS (8) goes to a childminder before/after school Mon-Wednesday, he absolutely loves it and whinges that he doesn't go the other days and then also asks why he can't go at weekends too.

I remember hating after school club , by 3:30 I'd had my fill of people, but my mum needed the childcare when she went back to work and I was 9/10ish
My son's just finished his first year of primary and loves it. It gives him unstructured supervised time to play with mixed ages which means he has "cool older school friends" and is further honing his social game.
I felt awful he would be in it so much during my ex's parenting time, so out of my control.
Think it totally depends on the kid.

Next year I'm opting to send him to breakfast club during my parenting time for consistency for him and to ease the pressure of rushing for me. He asked to go.

Lots of children do nap beyond two, though. It's not exactly unusual.

Nor is it unusual for children to find reception tiring, even if they've previously been at full-time nursery. There are threads on here every year from my parents of exhausted 4-5 year olds for a reason, lol.

At the end of the day all children are different. Some don't struggle at all when they start school, others find it all a bit much. Most countries don't have 4-5 year olds in school at all, and I think there's probably a good reason for that.

Yeah I get this, I used to be a teacher and was not keen on DD doing after school.
I've changed my wfh hours so she'll only do two afternoons til 4 when DH can collect.
However I've been told that lots of kids request to go to the after school club of the school she's going to as we know lots of kids already at the school and it's very popular so we shall see how it goes.
Each child is different tho. Also it sets a good example to my daughter that I also have a career.

68 kids in the school!

Ours has 90 in each year! You are certainly lucky they can run wraparound care with those numbers.

My DD loves after school care but dislikes breakfast club.

She's been upset when some of the after school club staff have left to get other jobs. It is also one way she knows more kids in other years in her school.

However with breakfast club she has pleaded not to go as she doesn't like the person who runs it.

There are threads on here every year from my parents of exhausted 4-5 year olds for a reason, lol.

I was grossly mislead by those threads, which was foolish when my son had never been tired by 8-6 at nursery. He came blasting out of reception full of beans, and I had stupidly not booked him for gymnastics or art club because Mumsnet told me he would be exhausted and need to "chill and snuggle on the sofa".

In real life I don't know any children who needed that. I think some people on here just have less bouncy children.

My daughter is in Reception and loves after-school clubs. She gets to play with different children, including those from other years which she loves.

Don’t overthink it - it won’t be everyone else skipping home with their parents at 3.15 and your poor children as the only ones left behind. There will be plenty staying and having fun together

My DD loves after school care but dislikes breakfast club.

Breakfast club is definitely less popular, because they don't let the children run wild at 8am like they do after school.

I did before and after school club every day as a child and found it exhausting and very much didn’t want that for my kids. DD doesn’t have to go but sometimes asks to because she wants to spend time with her friends, and is jealous that her brother (too young for school) gets to go the childminder! Grass is always greener lol

I'm sure many really enjoy it! But I feel the day is too long and would prefer them to just relax / be themselves at home. That would be my preference. Childminder sounds great compromise though.

But you have to remember that people post on here for advice - they don't post to say "Ben loves school and isn't having any issues" or "Jane adores breakfast club and always runs in without looking back".

It's only the people whose children are struggling, tired, upset etc. who are going to be posting to begin with, so there's always a naturally negative "slant" to all these threads.

It's the same on the relationships board (where it seems like every single person is trapped in a hellish marriage) or on the doghouse where everyone seems to have a dog with behavioural problems etc.

Well, there are certainly a lot of ‘less bouncy’ parents on here, so I suppose not surprising.

I was reminded of this recently when my brother in law and his family visited. His wife retires to bed immediately after dinner on weeknights, and at weekends takes a long afternoon nap as well (she’s a fit, healthy 45 year old woman), and her sons with BIL, aged 21 and 24, also seem to spend a lot of time in bed in the middle of the day. No one is ill, or neurodiverse, so I’m assuming it’s either learned behaviour or the tendency to get easily overstimulated and crash is heritable?

The bonus is that as it’s small it has a real family feel and the activities aren’t very different to siblings and friends playing after school.

We don’t have family help and there are no childminders so it’s the only affordable childcare option. It’s quite well used though because most of the families work and have a commute to a town or city so picking up at 3.30 isn’t realistic for the majority.

I work 4 days so there’s one day DD doesn’t need any, and usually twice a week she can skip breakfast club and the second half of the after school session if she wants as I am WFH, but because my WFH days vary at short notice I have to pay for all 4 days.

Dd started reception in September, so has nearly done a full year of it. I'm a single mum, and felt really guilty about the wraparound care, but it was a needs must situation and she goes every day. She hated it at first, but by Xmas she seemed to have got used to it. Now she loves it. She's got friends of all ages and socialises well with them. The older ones even help her with her reading, writing and numbers. Although I wasn't happy about the situation initially, I do believe it's been very beneficial for her.

It made my dd too tired she just found the long day too overwhelming so I ended up becoming a SAHM

Replied to wrong topic

My kids loved it and even when we didn't it need anymore (wfh) they asked to continue going a few days a week.

It's an after schooo play date with snacks.

I hated going to a childminder before and after school as a kid, but needs must for lots of parents

No it's because my DD and other children who have tried it, simply don't like the person running it.

My DP and I have spoken to other parents. Some parents have literally had children in tears about going to it.

Most parents have rearranged their working day so their children don't have to go to it. Unfortunately a couple of children still have to attend as their parents simply can't.

The head was puzzled by while after school club is well attended but breakfast club isn't as they should be cost neutral but breakfast club is costing the school money. So DP told her the issue. They are now trying to get someone else to run the breakfast club.

I get complaints from DD if I collect her too early from ASC as she is having fun.

Mine really liked it. So much so that they got annoyed with me arranging my hours so I could collect once a week. From September I’m adding in the extra day.

It is much easier to do pick up when the school car park isn’t rammed. They are much nicer when I get them from wrap-around as they’ve had a snack and aren’t hangry at the end of school and they really enjoy playing with their friends and doing crafty stuff that I probably wouldn’t do after school. It actually works really well for us.

Wrap around care is essential for many parents for many valid reasons. I worked FT as a single parent and my son was at a childminder before he went to primary school/ I had to arrange wrap around care when he started secondary school. No one solution fits all and there are several quality childcare solutions.
I recall some of my friends who didn't work ( and had wealthy husbands) telling me that they would never leave their child with a cm! Very thoughtless ( probably not intentional). Wishing you well

The wrap around care my DC went to was an independent org (charity) on school grounds. I'd say 98% of the children who went loved it.

It was like a party every day. So many of your friends to play with. Loads of exciting toys. The entire playground to use.

Loads of food. Slots on gaming devices. Indoor soft play.

Amazing staff.

Extremely good value too and had a waiting list.

Like most things it's a balance. Mine wouldn't want to attend wraparound care every day but actually their preferred after school activity is to attach themselves to a screen. So wraparound 2 x days it is so they can't just veg out like broccoli the whole time.