"I vote for who my husband tells me to"

[Applescruffel]

A few years ago, a family member shocked me by saying, yeah, I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says.

My jaw dropped. Honestly, WTAF?

I advised her to go on isidewith and answer the questions, see what it comes back with. I asked her a few days later if she had, and she said yes, it came back with X party. BUT THEN SHE SAID "but DH wants XX party so I'm going with them" Jaw hit the floor.

Anyway, I'm wondering how common it is. Have any of you ever voted for someone someone else told you to?

yabu - yes, I've voted as per someone else's instructions
yanbu - no, I've always voted according to what I want.

Yeah this. And the 'I don't get politics' brigade (nearly always women oddly) really make me despair for humanity. If you don't 'get' it, then LEARN to get it. Politics literally controls everything in your life - EVERYTHING. Why would you not take an interest in it and LEARN about it?

Utterly gobsmacked. No woman in my family has ever been like this! My grandmothers (both born 1920s) were avid Labour supporters, and so were their husbands, but the men never told them how to vote.

Same with my parents - born 1950s - and DH's parents (and grandparents.) The women had their own independent mind, as I do - and our DD! Where are all these women with no mind of their own? Do the husbands tell them how to dress, and what to eat too? Do they tell them who they can mix with, when they can go out, what friends they're allowed? Do their friends have to have the same political views?!

I don't agree with who DD is voting for, but I would never say, because she is a strong, educated, independent woman, with a successful career, and a home of her own. And like fuck would she take any notice. 😆 And no WAY would her husband influence her. She wouldn't have it! (And he knows it!)

This thread is making me cringe big time, with the amount of people - mostly women - who let their husband tell them who to vote for, and even their dad tells some women apparently! Just when I think we've advanced so far over the past half a century (women,) I read shit like this! 'My husband tells me how I should vote!' Kill me now! 😬

I love this sketch !

My ex husband once said to me about his mother (not about voting, but l suspect that would be similar) "He (his dad) didn't want her to, and she abided by his wishes."
It was ridiculous. This was in the 80s. Not the 1880s, either.

for many years my husband and i voted for different parties and he was always so disappointed in me with my choice.. but i didn't care

what he doesnt know is that for the past 3 years, although i've told him i voted against him, i actually voted with him... so he gives me this lecture every time voting comes round about why my choice is bad... blah blah blah...

i have no intention of ever telling him different

@TheDogsMother

So apt for this thread!

YANBU but both my nan and DP ask me who to vote for

That's part of the problem with postal votes

I have a friend who is in a very strange controlling situation with her parents and she just votes for who they do. It's sad.

My friend and her (adult) kids seem to think that her husband is the authority on any political and take his word as gospel. They vote based entirely on what he tells them.
At a previous GE, their son who was well into his twenties, said that when he got into the booth he didn’t know who to vote for because Theresa May wasn’t on the ballot paper. They don’t live in her constituency. So clueless that he didn’t understand them at they were voting for a local MP not the Prime Minister.

I'm not in the UK but I'm really surprised to read how many people don't know who their partner votes for!

My DH and I have the same political beliefs because we have similar moral values. We talk about politics as things come up. And if he voted for Trump I'd divorce him!

Thanks for your honesty. It's hard to believe you have these difficulties because you're writing is so good. You really come across as someone who could easily pick it up from a simple book so I hope you try that, even if it's a book aimed at children.

"So clueless that he didn’t understand them at they were voting for a local MP not the Prime Minister."

I kind of don't blame people for this as the media presents it this way and, if their leader is popular, even the parties do.

I know a fair few people who vote a certain way because they are a Labour family or a Conservative family. But if you ask them what they are voting for they can’t tell you.

I vote the same way my husband does. It doesn't mean I'm controlled though. Some people just have different ways of doing things

My cousin died in his 70s and his wife asked us if she was allowed to stay in the house, now he was dead.
She literally didn't know that the mortgage had been paid off years before and that she was on the deeds.
He wasn't a horrible man at all, either. But his wife had no idea about such basics as this.
Probably she voted the way he did, too.

There was a woman on bbc news asked who she would vote for. Replied that she didn’t know yet, her Grandad decides who to vote for and then everyone else in the family votes for the same party. These are adults deferring to the opinion of one elderly man.

I have and I’m mortified to admit it. When my mum asked me who I was voting for in the referendum, I was too embarrassed to admit I had no idea that we were having one or what it was about. She said ‘I hope you’re voting to leave’ and I just said ‘er OK’ and went with it.

NEVER again. I’ve just cast my GE vote and I made sure it was who I wanted 😜

Anyway, back to normal name.

There are doctors and teachers sending out letters telling people to vote a certain way according to a thread on here.

Allow me to tell you how proud I am of you! 👏👏👏

I've never thought of this but now that I have, I'm wondering if postal voting should even be allowed at all.

They need a way to allow those who can't get to the polling booths on a certain day to be able to vote though.

There is no guarantee with a proxy vote that someone will definitely vote the way they've been asked to.

And let's face it, even in the booths, some people will have been unduly persuaded to vote a certain way. There are still people out there who would only vote the way they've been told to incase they were 'found out.'

You're not a British citizen so you encouraged your husband to vote for the party that's most anti-immigrant?

My dad used to try and dictate who we all voted for, he didn’t like to be told there was no way I was being told how to use a hard fought for vote. DH would never dream of telling me who to vote for or try to change my mind and we often discuss politics. We mostly vote for the same party as we have a similar outlook. We don’t discuss politics with family nor friends since the Scottish Referendum as we walked away from a few friends back then due to their attitude about it all. As far as we were concerned people all have different viewpoints and we’re happy to respect that, unfortunately some of the things said to us by family and some friends back then can never be forgiven.

We vote as individuals and if my husband didn't vote the same way as me I wouldn't be upset or vice versa. That's democracy. May the best party win 😘

Out of interest, would you mind expanding on your process? I have so many questions, but of course ignore me if you'd rather not answer.

Do you and he talk about it until you both come to agreement? If he decides, is it just that so far he's happened to decide on a party you also don't object to? What if he decided to vote for someone you really didn't like - would you still defer to his wish? Is it that you feel you don't know enough to make a right choice for yourself?

I hope you don't find me rude/ intrusive - and as I said, please feel free to ignore me if you'd rather not elaborate! As you can probably tell, I vote for whomever I want to and it's never entered my head that anybody else should ever have a say in that!

I do vote but I don't know anything about it so I just vote for whoever DH says

So why not find out.
There are websites you can go in where you answer questions and it will compare that with the various parties' policies and suggest the 'best' fit for you.
Or you can google the key points to compare each party's policies.

There is no reason for the vast majority of people to not have any idea about it all.

Dd is a young woman and I this is her first GE. She has taken it upon herself to find out, and encouraged her friends to do the same. Infact they were all chatting about it at the pub last week and sharing the various sites they'd found. None are overly political or have a massive interest in politics generally, but they wanted to know a little more to be able to vote accordingly.

To be honest more people should read up beforehand rather than just voting for the same party each time.