My restrictive eating triggers people

[Cadelo]

I wouldn’t say I have an issue with food but I am very mindful of what I eat.

I am 30 and spent a lot of my 20s depressed because of my weight. I love being able to put on a dress and not worry how I will look in it. I love not always having to go for the flattering option. I don’t miss the comments where people made me feel like shit unintentionally - “her body is thick like yours”.

3 years ago I lost 60 pounds. It was not pleasant. I never want to go back.

I just know my controlled eating annoys people. My own sister will invite me over for a takeaway and get annoyed when we order pizza and I only have a slice/or 2 and make a big salad to go along with it. “You only live once”. Blah blah blah.

I’m getting enough calories to maintain my weight. My bmi is also healthy. Some people call me scrawny but like I said I have a healthy bmi.

So I do take scales on holiday as I weigh myself daily. And my SIL made a comment that if she sees them she’s going to chuck them in the bin. She’s a normal weight. I’m glad her life was never small due to confidence issues. If I see I am over a certain weight I just know to eat lightly for a week or so.

I know we will sit down for breakfast (we are going to Greece in 2 weeks) and she will say something or try to tempt me when I order a fruit platter. Or constantly trying to get me to have an ice cream (I do occasionally - and when I do it becomes this massive thing).

I’m so sick of my eating being a problem for others.

Agreed.

Relax, have fun, let your hair down, have a little break, enjoy your life....etc etc etc

The OP wants to stay a healthy weight and can do all of the things above without eating loads on holiday!

Hang on - I weigh myself daily. It’s the way I keep on track. Otherwise I cheat and try to con myself it will be fine - then I get to the weekly weigh and I’ve put 2/3 pounds on. Daily weighing pulls me up quickly.

I haven’t taken mine on holiday, but when we’ve been in a hotel that provides them I’ve used them every day.

Source? I was told it was weekly to monthly (ie every week, every fortnight, but no less frequently than monthly).

I regret the day I stopped weighing myself every day. I easily kept the weight off and always stayed within 1kg of my perfect weight (any more and I knew to cut back that day).

Once I stopped the daily checks the weight (surreptitiously) went back on and I’ve struggled to lose it since (it took huge effort to lose it and I can’t face the effort again). I’m a firm believer in weighing everyday if you have gone through the enormous effort of reaching your target weight. (I don’t have food issues).

I always weighed myself at the same time every day. First thing in the morning.

The last half stone or so is always the hardest to lose. That’s what gives most people who have lost a lot of weight and are feeling good about themselves and the way they look, the incentive to stay in control and not put the weight back on. OP has said absolutely nothing to suggest that she has disordered eating and says she has a healthy BMI. If weighing every day helps her stay in control and a healthy weight, it’s really none of anyone else’s business.

YABU about the scales. Eat sensibly by all means but this level of anxiety doesn't sound very healthy at all.

Other people need to knock off the comments - I’d have said something by now, OP. Or tell your DH to have a word with her.

Taking the scales is not necessarily obsessive.

They are a tool.

If op was truly obsessive she wouldn't be having occasional ice creams, cocktails and tiramisu etc

Obsessive is a strong word to bandy around when her use of the scales is just maintaining her simple non punishing routine while away on holiday.

I wouldn’t enjoy going on holiday with someone who actually packs scales!

Why would you care? It's not as if she's expecting you to jump on them. Neither do you have to stand there and watch her weigh herself, or discuss it with her afterwards.

Those scales would be straight in the bin if I was on holiday with you too. Absolutely ridiculous and completely obsessive behaviour.

It's none of your business how the OP chooses to maintain her health and her weight. She's explained that she used to be overweight and binge eat and she's frightened of letting it get out of control beause once it goes over half a stone it's so much harder to get back on track. If weighing herself daily and never letting her weight fluctuate by more than a couple of pounds works for her and she's not ill or anorexic then who are you or anyone else to tell her she's ridiculous and obsessive?

Sorry but your eating still sounds disordered, you’ve just gone the other direction. Rather than overeating and gaining weight, it sounds like your life is now consumed with the fear of gaining the weight back. Taking scales on holiday is insane to me and it sounds like you need some deep therapy around your issues with food.

I’ve been there too OP. I have been overweight, dangerously under weight and everything in between.

Same here. I’ve gone back to it, several years after I let it creep back on. Daily weighing pulls me up quickly - it works for me. First thing in the morning so the comparison is sound.

Weighing yourself every day is unnecessary. Fat doesn’t come on that quickly. Weighing yourself every week at the same time of day is sensible if you have or had weight problems, but daily is unnecessary and doesn’t give you any extra information.

Absolutely this. And unless you’re in the position of having lost a lot of weight this is the thing that’s hard for people to understand. Natural fluctuations in weight can be taken into account - water retention at certain times are not the same as actual fat creeping back on undoing all the hard work you’ve put in. Some people put on weight very easily. If, like myself, OP is one of these people, then daily weighing helps you stay in control.

I weigh daily and take my scales with me on holiday too! To me it's no different to checking my bank balance daily so I don't overspend.

Daily weigh ins were considered inadvisable by my PT.

For maintenance on holiday, I do the following:

20-30k steps or an hour's swimming or a 20m HIIT workout.

(I enjoy doing all those things anyway!)

Food - eat vegetarian one day, alcohol free another day, meat/alcohol free one day, everything allowed the other day.

So every day is active, and half the time I'm not boozing etc. Vegetarian food can be greasy etc, but I find it tenda to help me think about food choices just enough to be sensible and enjoy myself.

@whitelily nailed it.

Eat healthily, @Cadelo . Mediterranean-type diet. Lots of vegetables plus protein for fuel. Restrict refined carbs and sugar, including fruit juice and alcohol.

It's not rocket science, as they say. But leave the scales at home (or take them if you truly believe that they are helpful...), and keep an eye on potentially becoming obsessive.

If you haven’t already I’d explain ONCE exactly how you’ve explained here why you don’t want to over indulge. Their OTT reaction to you choosing and also not choosing to have an ice cream or a wine is rude and makes you uncomfortable and I’d suggest saying as much - ‘I don’t appreciate your analysis of what I’m eating and drinking, it’s making me uncomfortable. I am happy in my choices so please stop mentioning it.’ Repeat and repeat every time - pass the rude behaviour right back!!

well done to you! Losing and maintaining a lower weight is really hard and I could do with half your motivation.

enjoy your holiday

I really do connect with this as I am still in active weight loss so I do all of these things and one of the things I think about a lot is which ones will I still do 2 years from now. I really do not want to put weight back on either. For me the scales just help you to focus on what you are doing, like OP they help me to know where I am at with indulging or not indulging. I won’t take them on holiday but I have thought about how it is going to feel not to have them for 2 weeks and the deep fear of coming home and stepping on them the first time makes me anxious!

Problem is losing 5lbs is actually very hard at a healthy BMI, it can take months and is so slow, so I can see why you and I wouldn’t want to have to go through all that again. It’s taken me absolutely ages to lose the last 10lbs and I am still 5lbs away from my goal (4st 7 lost so far).

I wonder if we need to normalise it is ok to worry about being fat when you have been fat before and it’s so common for people to gain the weight back? It’s no use people telling us not to worry about it, it’s a very legit natural worry! However what would be useful is to learn some relaxation and mindfulness about letting go of some of the worries you have and trusting in yourself that you know your body and you will be ok, you know what you can eat/drink and you aren’t about to end up back at the start x

In time, it may be that you rely less on the scales.

We all have things in our past which inform today, and sometimes those things cast a long shadow. Sometimes the shadow is harmful sometimes it isn't. In time those things which we find a burden can be unpicked and the root cause healed as far as possible to bring positive change.

But all in good time. And that's for you to decide.

Your friends and family can express concern if they are worried but carping about it cos they wasn't you to mirror their way of doing things it's unreasonable.

I disagree. I can do a lot of damage in a few days. Weekly weighing doesn’t work for someone like me who tends to fool themself into thinking the extra four biscuits are ok. Daily weighing is absolutely necessary to keep me on track.

Well done!

I don't know why people are annoyed with other people's eating habits. I really don't care. I assume ppl might be jealous of your self-control. Even if they think you're being over the top with it, it's not their business. Nothing to do with them.

Good for you, I admire your willpower.
Just do whatever works for you. No point in being anxious on holiday, take the scales!

This. I also think that some people just can’t stand to see others succeed in weight loss and maintenance and will use every opportunity to sabotage it to make themselves feel better. OP hasn’t given any reason to think that she’s pushing this in anyone’s face or criticising what anyone else does, so what business is it of anyone else’s’ ?