Curfew for 16 year old during summer

[oliwiagrzeda]

I am 16 years old (girl if that makes a difference) and my curfew is currently 10:30pm. I find this quite unreasonable as when I am out, the buses are either at 9pm or 11pm which means I always have to get the 9pm bus. I understand during school time, but it is currently the summer holidays so I feel like I’m missing out on a lot as most people my age that I know either don’t have a curfew or have a later curfew of around 1 or 2 am. I want to know if people think this is resonable or if my parents are being too strict about this.

Well, when DP was in a similar situation where the only buses from Plymouth were the 9pm or 11pm, he found out very quickly that the 11pm to Tavi was frequently cancelled, so he'd be totally stranded or facing a very long walk home.

He opted for the 9pm bus until he passed his driving test.

I imagine they have changed their minds because they found out you were drinking and that people you are out with were drinking. Your parents are trying to keep you safe.

It might be hard to understand now. But generally when parents say no to something, they are saying it out of love

I think your parents are being reasonable.

My DS (16) must be home by 10ish but luckily we have everything nearby so he can just walk

Wow! 10.30pm at 16 is really generous, personally I would have you in as soon as it was dark and on a school night you wouldn’t be going out anyway. I think you need to realise your parents are being very generous. Would you rather they didn’t care about you getting enough sleep, being safe and working by towards a good education? Working in the sector I do, you are naive to think that going out after 10.30 you are not in danger

I have a 16 year old and I wouldn't let him stay out until 1am.

I am nearly 50 and I am so glad my parents weren’t like you. And my adult children are probably just as glad I wasn’t. Don’t be so rigid, just have a conversation with your children. I am pretty strict, but a 16 year-old who is generally no problem should certainly have some say in how she wants to spend her holiday. It’s 30-45 minutes she is asking for.

If you want to have a decent relationship with your children when they are adults, then don’t treat them like they have no say in their own life.

It was 11, not 1.

As a mum I'd be worried about weirdos out that late and would be stressed out until you arrived. I think 10:30 is reasonable, sorry.

If you were almost 17, maybe I'd be okay with 11:15. But it would suck for me as I wouldn't get to sleep until you got home.

Could you cycle instead of getting the bus? Then you could leave later.

She’s going to legally be an adult in less than 18 months. Being micromanaged and helicopter-parented like that isn’t going to be doing her any favours at all.

Just want to add, if you were my daughter I'd probably offer to pick you up at 10:30. Would have my own peace if mind then and you could be out later. Would your parents consider this?

I think it’s reasonable and tbh you are still at an age where your parents have parental responsibility and it is their decision when you need to be home. I would say though that if you stick to the curfew and show that you can work to their rules they are more likely to be more flexible in the future.

Given the bus timetable, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask to be allowed to come home on the 11 o’clock bus during the holidays. I’d want you to sit at the front close to the driver and the exit.

There are weirdos at all hours

I would be suggesting a 10pm curfew there is no way I would have a daughter of mine getting a bus home at 11pm then I assume walking from the bus stop.

She said the bus stops right outside their house.

To me, as a parent, I would be considering several factors such as where you live and where the bus stop is that you would be waiting at at 11pm. My answer may vary according to whether your answer was that you would be waiting on your own somewhere remote or if you were waiting in a relatively busy well lit area.
If you approach your parents with a well reasoned argument rather than just saying “it’s not fair and all my friends stay out later” they may well listen and take you seriously.
For example if my child said “it is x’s birthday on Friday on this one occasion would you let me get the 11pm bus” and show yourself to be responsible then I’d be far more likely to allow it than then just saying it’s not fair and not listening to reason. (Not saying that’s what you’ve done, just giving an example)

8 year old?! I’m really confused. Until this point I thought your parents were being reasonable but I would not expect an 8 year old out past 7/8… do you mean any neighbours/ friends on your road? Or is she brought back by her friends parents?