Curfew for 16 year old during summer

[oliwiagrzeda]

I am 16 years old (girl if that makes a difference) and my curfew is currently 10:30pm. I find this quite unreasonable as when I am out, the buses are either at 9pm or 11pm which means I always have to get the 9pm bus. I understand during school time, but it is currently the summer holidays so I feel like I’m missing out on a lot as most people my age that I know either don’t have a curfew or have a later curfew of around 1 or 2 am. I want to know if people think this is resonable or if my parents are being too strict about this.

Assuming your boyfriend is also 16, this would not make me feel that much better as a parent. It's a good instinct, but I'd lead with other things - such as sharing phone location, staying in touch etc.

Mine curfew was the same when I was your age.
So were my sons.
Tough, but that's life.

He’s 17 and my mum usually messages me to check up or if I don’t answer then she calls me. I’m pretty sure she also has my live location

At 16 l let my daughters stay out until 11..
I said " I trust you.. but if you betray that trust.. then it's stopping" and to be honest usually they were in long before that.
I was a single parent and they usually had friends over mostly .. was open house and always had someone sleeping over..
One is now a parent of an 19 .. 17 and 16 year old ( all boys).
And the same applies to the 17 year old.
16 year old doesn't go out.. and 19 year old is an adult.. but doesn't go out much.

Should probably also add that my 8 year old sister also has to be in by 10/10:30pm

I have a 16 yo daughter. 11 latest is the time I like her to be home by on a weeknight (in holidays) if she's travelling with friends or we're picking her up. This is mainly because we both work and need to be up early and of course won't go to bed until she's home safe. Sadly we parents are not on holiday.

If we can't pick up and she needs to walk home alone - she has to be back by 10:15. The nearest bus stop is a way off.

I would be ok with 11pm bus assuming that someone waits with you at the stop and if - as you say - the bus stops outside your house and you're home by 11:15 latest.

Weekends I wouldn't want her out too much later tbh - unless she's at a party or some special event - in which case she'd be picked up by us or one of other parents and I would flex to average pick up time based on talking to other parents (they're a reasonable bunch).

I would not be up for regular 1/2am stay outs until she's left home tbh! I'd be ane exhausted old crone.

As PP said, talk to them about how you feel and ask what it is that they're worried about. Do it over snap or email if you feel more comfortable. Stay calm even if they don't change their mind straight away.

You probably need to come back round to the alcohol chat at some point? Is your BF older than you?

Really??? At 8 mine weren't really out on their own - let alone out after dark. This makes no sense

I live in Scotland and in my area it doesn’t really get properly dark until around 11:15

He’s a year older and with the alcohol I knew I wasn’t allowed to but I still did as I was staying over at my friends but then I ended up telling my parents anyway now I’m only alowed to stay over at one of my friends houses (she’s 13 and my parents know she doesn’t do any of that stuff) but my parents still let me go out to partys and stuff as long as they are picking me up so I won’t lie to the about that again.

I lived away at college at 16 and our curfew was 11pm unless our parents signed a waiver

😂🤣👌

My 16 year old is in bed by 10.30 and I'm one of the more relaxed parents in her friendship group!

Ok this is getting strange now tbh. An 8 year old out at 10:30, an area of Scotland that's apparently light until 23:15, and a 16 year old sleeping over at a 13 year old's house...?

I think it was midnight. And a call to say he was on his way.

@takealettermsjones to be fair it is sometimes still light here at 11.15. Still wouldn't want my kid wandering around at that time.

It’s around 11:15 by the time it gets pitch black usually. She’s out until 10/10:30 because she is usually near the house and we live in a pretty safe area. She’s 2 years below me in school and we have know eachother for years but became friends through a mutual friend who is 1 year below me in school. Our dads have also known eachother for years.

You could do quite a lot more to re-earn your parents’ trust here. You’ve said that if your phone is out of charge you can use a friend’s phone to contact them, that your mum texts you, and that if she doesn’t get through then she phones you. That’s just all quite flaky. As a parent I wouldn’t be letting you get the 11pm bus in those circumstances. I suggest if you keep your phone reliably charged at all times, consistently contact your mother proactively every time to tell her what you are doing so that she doesn’t need to text you, text her back immediately if she does text you, and generally don’t let it get to the stage where she needs to phone, you might start to have better luck negotiating the occasional later night.

My phone runs out of battery quite quickly and my mum knows that so she’s okay with me messaging her from other peoples phones but I charge it every chance I get. The only times I don’t message her back is if I’m over at someone’s house and distracted with something but I try to check my phone often.

I didn't have a curfew from sixth form onwards. The only three rules were;

• I had to let my parents know where I was going.

• I had to be with friends all the time and not be alone, especially walking eg from the bus as it was lonely.

• I had to message my mum when I got in if I stayed at friends / boyfriends.

I did drink and go to gigs and parties - it was great! Nothing bad ever happened, and I stayed safe. Am now a very dull 30 something with two babies, career, mortgage etc, but happy I had those times.

As a side note, some friends from uni were also very sheltered, and when they moved to new uni towns at 18, were quite unprepared. They used to get so drunk!! As in, pass out. Which we all thought was funny at the time, but not sure it was what their parents had in mind when they kept them sheltered up until they left home.

Although I do think it's a harsh curfew, ultimately I suppose it's your parents house, so their rules. Worst case, it's probably only a few years until you can move out and have your freedom. In the great scheme of things, it isn't long.

Presumably your parents want you home before they go to bed. My dd is 16 and rarely stays out late unless she’s at a sleep over. I’d want her home by 11pm unless it was a specific occasion but later then I’d probably be picking her up so it would be a one off. For me, next summer when she’s 17 she’ll have more freedom and 18, no curfew at all but I works still want good communication - where she is and who she’s with, just in case she needs help. That’s not an age thing, just respectful of living with others, like I’d tell dh and dd where I’m going and what time I plan to be home.

My parents usually go to sleep around 11:30 so they would be going to sleep after I got in anyway and i my parents ask who I’m going with and where I’m going before I leave the house

I think the 11 pm bus sounds fine, but could you have location tracker on to put their minds at rest? 9 seems early, i was out later than that at 16. Saying that, my parents knew I had a strong desire to get top grades, so weren't worried that I'd jeopardise that, and also knew my friends. And dad would always come amd get me at a push, although it wasn't worth the grief!

Is this a typo? They let an 8 year old stay out until 10pm (completely inappropriate), but won't let a 16 year old stay out until 11pm (pretty reasonable)? My kids were tucked up in bed at 8pm when they were 8.

My mum knows she can track my location as she has before when went to Glasgow for the day with friends ( around 2 1/2 hour bus journey). I’m fine with getting the 9 pm bus during school as then I have to wake up around 7:30 but it’s currently the summer holidays.

Why is it weird that it's light at 11:15? Have you been to Scotland?! I'm central Scotland & right now it's light until almost 11pm; the further North you go, the later it will get dark. We've not long had the longest day, it's not rocket science.