Curfew for 16 year old during summer

[oliwiagrzeda]

I am 16 years old (girl if that makes a difference) and my curfew is currently 10:30pm. I find this quite unreasonable as when I am out, the buses are either at 9pm or 11pm which means I always have to get the 9pm bus. I understand during school time, but it is currently the summer holidays so I feel like I’m missing out on a lot as most people my age that I know either don’t have a curfew or have a later curfew of around 1 or 2 am. I want to know if people think this is resonable or if my parents are being too strict about this.

At the end of the day, your parents set the rules and you can get random people on the internet to agree with you but none of us know the specifics. I know my dd, my DD’s friends (who are lovely) and my local area, plus my parenting style. I don’t have that info for you. Rather than make a new curfew, why not ask for a specific night when you want to do a specific thing and go from there?

Usually she has to be in by around 8/8:30 but it’s the summer holidays. She’s usually back by around 10 but her friends still come calling on her at even around 11 some nights which even I find really weird as they are around 9/10 years old

I have a 16 yo and he generally is home before midnight. We live in a city and ubers are mega cheap so as long as he is not wandering the street we are happy with 11/1130. I think I would be ok with an 11pm bus, we do use life360 for both my teens (with their permission).

I think it would be a real shame for a 16 yo to have to leave their friends at 830 in the summer to catch the bus. Maybe you could try talking to your parents again.

How often is your phone out of charge by the time you’re on your way home?

For me as a parent if your frequently uncontactable when you are out then there is no way I’d be entertaining the 11pm bus as I’d want a text from you telling me you were on it (every time).

If you are reliable at contact however, and the bus journey is only 15 mins I’d be ok with the later curfew. Unless you live in London or somewhere like it. I live in London and the night time brings out some very interesting characters that I wouldn’t want my 16 year old daughter coming into contact with.

I think my decision too would be based on how often you are coming home at 11.15pm, and if there are younger children being disturbed when you came in.

I got a new phone which doesn’t run out as often now so it’s usually at about 10% by the time I get on the bus (considering the fact that I have been out since around 2pm). I live in a small town in Scotland not near any cities or nothing and the worst that usually happens is drunk people walking around who don’t pay attention to you but if they do it’s just to have a normal conversation.

Surely it’s common knowledge that the farther north you are the later the sun goes down? We’re in NI and still have twilight at 11pm currently. It’s one of my favourite things about summer here!

I think the 11pm bus would be ok if the stop is right outside your house but saying that I worry about late buses leaving you vulnerable. I’d probably collect my daughter if I could or encourage her to get the earlier bus. I had to be in by 10:30pm at your age and remember feeling it was too early. It’s hard being a parent.

I think it's really unreasonable to expect you to catch a 9pm bus, whether or not it's the summer holidays. I didn't really have a curfew for my daughter once she was 16 but I would never have let her walk any distance on her own late at night and always expected her to let me know when she was leaving / arriving somewhere so I knew she was safe. If she was coming home really late then I always picked her up from a station, bus stop, or friend's house.

It was different when I was 16 because I left school and started a reasonably well paid job straight away. My parents didn't try to impose a curfew once I had left school , and I wouldn't have accepted one. When I was 14 and 15 my boyfriends and friends were always older than me, and I can still remember how humiliated I used to feel when I had to be home by 9.30 or 10 during the week and my parents rarely gave me lifts. I always tried to be a bit more understanding with my daughter and accepted that collecting her from parties at 1 in the morning was part of life.

In that case, if you were to take your phone charger with you and texted me when you left your friends house and when you got on the bus, then I’d be fine with you getting the 11pm one.

My boyfriend doesn’t have a curfew and my friends are mostly 15/16 and most of them don’t have strict curfews and as long as they have a way home they can stay out as long as they like ( within reason during school nights however a few of them have left school this year)

Just thinking about it, purely from my own point of view mind - they might want you to get the earlier bus because they want to spend a bit of time with you? If you’re leaving the house at 2pm every/most days, you can’t be spending much time at home with them. Possibly that’s why they reneged on their original agreement that the 11pm bus is ok. Just a thought

I think 11.30 would be reasonable in the school holidays, that way you could get the 11pm bus. And maybe negotiate a later curfew for specific times like a party or something.

I guess so, but I don’t really have the best relationship with my parents and I find that whenever I am home I’m usually up in my room because it’s just constant arguing so I prefer not to be home that often

I think the curfew is harsh - maybe you could negotiate regarding getting the 11pm bus if you promise to save bit more of your battery/update her along the way.

But she is just worried, OP. I stayed out drinking whilst away for a family wedding and was ambushed by my dad when I got back to the villa, as he couldn't sleep until I was back safe - and I'm 27!!

I don’t really go to parties that often and if I do it’s usually quite small and only the friend group plus the boyfriends. but if I do my parents pick me up as even tho I’m not supposed to be drinking, they don’t want me getting the bus just in case I am.

At that time we wouldn’t be out anyway we would be at someone’s house most like so I could charge my phone there

This thread does make me wonder how slack my mum/friends parents were when I was young though - we were definitely going out to clubs at 16 (when we could manage to get in), so obvs no curfew at all. Coming home to birdsong

Id see how she feels about you taking your charger and updating her/allowing her to track you - and stick to it every time

There isn’t any clubs in the area and maybe like 2 pubs so this isn’t a problem. I also get told often that I look way younger than I am and get Id for energy drinks so i wouldn’t be able to buy alcohol anyway.

As a Mum of three ,I never gave my children a curfew. As long as they were behaving,gave me information about their whereabouts and I could always call to checkin I was actually relaxed. We live in a very affluent town and kids are generally quite safe.

I would only worry if you missed the 11pm bus what you'd then do. Do you have uber on your phone, is that a possibility?

My DD is 16 and normally she gets home by 10pm on the w'ends / holidays.

There is taxis right next to the bus station that I could get if I missed the bus

At 16 at school my curfew was similar to yours, though when I started college I didnt have a curfew and nor did any of my friends.
If there was a party or we went out particularly late, I just stayed the night at a friends- my mum knew my friends so I guess she was happy knowing we would look out for one another.

At 16 we went on holidays by ourselves, to festivals, to house parties.

I’m curious- to all the parents enforcing early curfews, do you also not let your 16 year olds go on holidays with their friends, to parties, festivals? I thought that was all standard school leaver summer holiday stuff.

How long does the bus take?
I think the 11pm bus is reasonable
When i was 15 and in Year 11, My Curfew was 11.30….

BUT when i was 16 , 30 years ago now, i was working Full time so couldnt really have a curfew and moved away to another city at 17 to volunteer

1-2am sounds negligent and I suspect you wouldn't want those parents.

Don't knock having parents who love you enough to impose sensible curfews.

My 16 yr old doesn't have a curfew she's sensible and we live pretty ruralish so is only at parties in local villages etc I think 1/2 am is fine tbh I was clubbing later than that at 16 🙈 obviously if you can't get home though can you not get an Uber instead of bus