To have asked nanny to take her shoes off

[Bluegreenyellowredorange]

My husband and I decided to employ a nanny for our 2 DC ages 1 and 5. This will be the first time we've used a nanny.

We interviewed a lady on Saturday. She arrived just as we’d got home from a walk and as usual we all took our shoes off as we came in. She left hers on though and my husband asked her to take them off when she walked into the living room. I’ll be honest it was a little awkward as I think it took her by surprise. They are newish carpets so I can see where he is coming from but I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it myself. I guess most people don’t expect to take their shoes off in an interview (even though it’s a house and not an office?).

Anyway, the interview went well and she had plenty of experience and qualifications and I’ve tried to contact her (yesterday and today) to arrange a taster session but she hasn’t got back to me. It’s such a minor thing but I’m guessing it put her off. I can’t think of anything else.

Did we do something wrong?

Carpets are rank full stop. If you’re that precious about cleanliness don’t have them. Get yourself some nice tiles you can spend your time disinfecting every day.

I read this ironically, please dont tell me that I am wrong!

It's totally ok for some households to have a blanket "shoes off" policy.

Rather thaj saying "please take your shoes off' I woukd instead make it the first question and part of your interview process "We are a shoes-off household here, how do you feel about that?"

If a candidate immediately removes their shoes then they get a good score for that point. If they explain that they dislike the policy that is useful information too.

As has been covered in other threads people who aren't expecting to take their shoes off may be upset by this being sprung on them.

In our house the rule is you only have to take your shoes off if you are likely to climb on the furniture. (Ie children only)

OTOH, what no body ever speaks about is how they keep dust, dirt, and allergens at floor levels, as opposed to hard floors which allow it to become airbourne. We're all different, like different things, and have different ideas, which is why I would only ever have carpets in my bedroom, as I've had hard floors in the past & the dust is everywhere.

JMSA
It's simply not appropriate at a job interview though.

@JMSA

it is in someone's home for. Job as a nanny.

Each to their own. My personal priority would be ensuring that the interviewee felt comfortable and not put on the spot.

Agree with pp, I wouldn't have asked at interview, unless prior warned, I'm sure she would have beennfine to take off once working with you. Doesn't mean it's the reason for no response of course. For me, shoes off is quite uncomfortable situation and I wouldn't feel like that at an interview!

I take my own shoes off for comfort in my own home, but don't ask others to, wood floors and tiles downstairs anyway but carpet upstairs. Apart from stains, what on earth do people think will happen if shoes are not taken off? I've also had babies on floor years and there was no ill effects from visitors not all removing shoes!

If she reacts like this to a simple request in your home and has behaved like this, I say she's done you a huge favour.

Find someone else OP, and actually, I would request this of any other interviewees to gauge their reaction. It's not unusual to be asked to remove shoes, and it wasn't like you had shoes on and only asked the candidate.

You've weeded out one who could've potentially had an issue with your instructions, you're paying them to do as you direct.

It could signal you being overly precious as employers. It’s a bit of a daft reason to turn down an otherwise good job offer, but if she has other interviews then she doesn’t need to compromise.

Have you had a nanny before? A taster session isn’t technically allowed – you either employ her or you don’t. The ‘taster’ is her probationary period, so offering that may have also put her off.

I don't know. If it's a shoes off household then why wouldn't you start as you meant to go on.

I'd be annoyed if I was starting the job and then found out there was something I found annoying.

It's not as if it was personal to the nanny. They were all taking their shoes off. I'd be more concerned that the nanny was so unobservsnt that they didn't notice and follow suite.

Yup!

It is very vulgar to ask someone to remove their shoes. If the King came, would you ask him? I don't want to see people's socks or bare feet. My floors/carpets are far less important than my guests' comfort, and I would hope we'd all treat guests that way (tho I know it doesn't happen).

I once went for an interview for a carer's job. It was held at the Manager's house. She asked me to take my shoes off. The floors were wooden.

I should have left, there and then, but stayed and completed the interview. I felt belittled, uncomfortable and very awkward. She offered me the job, later that day - I turned it down.

Shoes off!
I cannot imagine the state of the floors in a shoes on household.
Must be completely filthy.
Actually I can my neighbours are shoes on and their carpets are grim.
I've got a robot hoover and it runs everyday between proper vacuuming, the crap that it fills with is unreal and that's with shoes off!

So dirty to wear outside shoes indoors and uncomfortable,just wear slippers

Your house, your rules.

I do the same thing and don't want anyone with shoes on in my house.

You can provide slippers at the entrance. When workmen come in I also provide them with shoe covers.

Very common to have a no shoe policy in the house...

It really is not hygienic, not to mention messy, to have people walk on carpets and flooring in general with dirty shoes.

Pavements are full of dog shit, old chewing gums and the likes and I don't want that in my house.

I always ask people before entering a house whether they would like me to remove my shoes or not, it is just polite.

Your nanny not doing that means I would not employ her as you obviously both have different standards.

'@BeaRF75
It is very vulgar to ask someone to remove their shoes.'

Nope, it isn't.

It is also standard requirement in many, many cultures, for example that's what people do in Japan, China, Finland, Sweden, Austria...

You are just showing your ignorance.

If that is the reason and she is ghosting you/refusing the job because she was asked to take her shoes off then I think you've dodged a bullet as that tells of her difficult personality. Find someone who isn't offended by such a minor thing

I'm a nanny and this wouldn't bother me at all. More than likely there was something else she didn't like about the job I'm afraid.

It could signal you being overly precious as employers. It’s a bit of a daft reason to turn down an otherwise good job offer, but if she has other interviews then she doesn’t need to compromise.

Good nanny's are in high demand, it doesn't take much to sway one way or the other. A nanny once turned us down because we were in a flat and she had another job offer in a house, which she preferred.

If you are a household that remove shoes I don't think it's an issue job interview or not. Maybe she doesn't like it, maybe it was something else

I’d expect anyone working, especially if they may do physical tasks like cooking or cleaning, to wear closed in shoes in their workplace.

But then I don’t really understand why people on Mumsnet who seem to be surrounded by an endless parade of people walking dog shit into their home still have carpets.

I’m a nanny, she should have offered- I would always take mine off at the door.

She’s either ridiculous, too sensitive or not as experienced as she wants you to think she is. This is not an unusual thing, taking shoes off when entering someone’s house is a bit of a minimum consideration imo, as at an interview stage she should be trying even harder to make a good impression.

I'd say it was unreasonable of her not to automatically take her shoes off when she saw your family doing so.

When we wwre interviewing for our nanny I didn't ask interviewees to take shoes off. However, most of them either just did it because we did or asked our preference. I said I would prefer it as our 9 month old twins were crawling and eating everything they could get their hands on. I'm not precious about my carpets!

If she's not a fit, it's best for everyone that you find out soon. She'll be in your house raising your kids, so you need to make sure she's on the same page as you.

For what it's worth, the lady we chose was the one who immediate for down and sat on the floor with my babies andsmiled lots and waited for them to be curious and come to her. I don't give a damn about shoes, I want someone who will cherish my children. They love her to bits 3 years on, as do my other 2 children.

Choose someone you like who will be the person you want to be with your children. Don't feel bad if people you interview don't want the job. It's not a judgement of your value or your children, just a sign that the nanny isn't a good fitfor you. That's ok. Keep looking until you find someone that is.

I've honestly never been to someone's house where you're expected to take off your shoes. If someone's wearing sandals are they expected to be barefoot? I'd be really uncomfortable with the idea.

This. It’s definitely a class/manners thing.

We have hard floors downstairs and a robot hoover/mop so they are always spotless and cleaned at least daily. It’s rare for a guest to go upstairs unless they’re staying as we have a downstairs loo. I usually wear slippers but that’s more of a comfort thing.

Do people live in very dirty areas to be constantly treading in dog shit/fag buts and then not noticing to potentially tramp them through the house? Dirty shoes are washed in the utility and left to dry before being worn again.

Isn't that pretty standard - to expect to remove your shoes when entering someone's home? We don't have any carpets at all, but I still ask everyone who comes in to either remove their shoes or use shoe covers.

It'd be strange if she was offended by it.

Her not getting back in touch may have nothing to do with the shoes. It could be that she didn't gel with you, has had a better offer, or perhaps is away. There's lots of reasons.