To have asked nanny to take her shoes off

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My husband and I decided to employ a nanny for our 2 DC ages 1 and 5. This will be the first time we've used a nanny.

We interviewed a lady on Saturday. She arrived just as we’d got home from a walk and as usual we all took our shoes off as we came in. She left hers on though and my husband asked her to take them off when she walked into the living room. I’ll be honest it was a little awkward as I think it took her by surprise. They are newish carpets so I can see where he is coming from but I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it myself. I guess most people don’t expect to take their shoes off in an interview (even though it’s a house and not an office?).

Anyway, the interview went well and she had plenty of experience and qualifications and I’ve tried to contact her (yesterday and today) to arrange a taster session but she hasn’t got back to me. It’s such a minor thing but I’m guessing it put her off. I can’t think of anything else.

Did we do something wrong?

I always offer to remove my shoes when I attend interviews in potential employer homes. Tbh it may be she didn’t want the job. Nothing to do with the shoes.

I'd be put off, not the shoes specifically, but that you would be very fussy and will lay down loads of rules, and maybe get annoyed if there's mess created.

Yes, do some people not look where they're walking? If you get dog shit on your shoe, you'll know about it before you go indoors. It stinks, for a start.

I'm from an Irish family and was brought up to think that taking your shoes off in someone else's house was not the done thing. Exceptions obviously made for if you've just been stomping across a wet muddy field.

If I were applying for a job in someone's home I wouldn't mind if they asked me to remove my shoes indoors. I would mind if the tone of the request made it sound as if they thought I was disgusting for not doing so automatically. The tone, rather than the request itself, could be a red incompatibility flag for me at interview stage.

An interview is a formal meeting. I would not ask someone to remove their shoes in such a situation.

It's amazing that people of my generation (boomers) ever made it to adulthood as "shoes off households" were unheard of when I was growing up.

Perhaps crawling about on mucky floors was good for my immunity as I was 48 when I got mhy first ever upset stomach and I've only ever had 2.

Lots of nationalities take shoes off. I'd think someone hasn't mixed much if they were horrified at taking shoes off in a house.

Not everyone can take their shoes off. I have had plantar fasciitis since my 20s and have not been able to take more than a few unshod steps my entire adult life. Asking me to take off my shoes is asking me to endure severe pain until I can get them on again.

Could you take arch support flip flops or slippers? I wear those indoors

I have shoe coverings which I offer to tradesmen who want to keep their shoes on, but often they say no they’re happy to take off their shoes off. Either way suits me as long as your sole that’s stepped on a dirty ground isn’t coming onto my carpet.

That rather surprises me. All the tradies I know wear safety boots on site, and shoe covers over them when they're working in houses that are occupied/furnished. My BIL has his own building company and you'd get short shrift from him if you tried working shoeless on any of his jobs.

Shoegate would be irrelevant to me. I prefer the people I work with to be professional enough to reply promptly to important emails. Her lack of a timely response is what would have pissed me off by now. Whatever people say, nobody is too busy to write a short but polite response. Even if just to say they need more time to think.

I'm not a Nanny, but if I were I wouldn't be keen. Young dc and carpet don't mix, I'd worry you were precious about the carpet and thunk it was just too much faff. Good Nannies are so in demand they can choose their standards.

I've lived in my house for 31 years and despite wearing outdoor shoes indoors, I have never, ever had dogshit on my carpets.

I'm cringing at all these people who walk in dogshit, tbh. Why don't they just look where they're walking?

I suffered from PF for years and, while it's much improved, I still get flare ups now and again if I wear dead flat shoes, like flip flops or ballet pumps, or go barefoot for any length of time.

It's also one of the reasons why I hate shoes-off houses.

This is a bit unfair. Firstly, how do you know it is a "good job"? The T&Cs aren't mentioned. Maybe that's what put her off, and it's nothing to do with the shoes-off rule? Secondly, if the prospective employee feels strongly about having to take her shoes off, then it's not silly to refuse the job - it's common sense. People feel differently about things. Just because someone views a request differently to you, it doesn't make it silly.

Totally agree. Depending on the job, this is a real health and safety issue.

It’s not a “weird thing on mumsnet”, it’s a real-life thing. Can you not accept that people have different opinions?

If she's offended by a perfectly reasonable request to take her shoes off in someone's home then you had a lucky escape.

It might be a real life thing but it is weird. I thought people have enough understanding of other people's cultures to not be offended at being asked to remove shoes.

"So dirty to wear outside shoes indoors and uncomfortable, just wear slippers"

But as the nanny wasn't warned in advance that it was a shoes off house, she wasn't prepared, and didn't bring slippers. Most people don't go about their daily business carrying a spare pair of slippers. Unless you're suggesting that the hosts should have offered slippers - which, frankly, I think is hideous and way more unhygeinic than outside shoes being worn inside - who knows who has worn them before, and whether they had Athlete's foot, verrucas, warts, or other disgusting infections?

I'm always happy to respect a shoes off rule when visiting, but I draw the line at wearing manky slippers when I don't know who has worn them before.

I would think it so strange if I was asked to remove my shoes for a job interview! It would definitely put me off. I've never been asked to remove my shoes in someone else's home, and I almost always keep my shoes on at home too due to an ankle injury that would be made worse by walking barefoot for any length of time.
The only time I would automatically remove my shoes when getting home would be if it was my hiking boots and they had gotten muddy. As a rule I manage to avoid stepping in mud and dog poop when I'm out and about.

My mother and father are in their 80s and we were always a shoes off household. Unheard of by you possibly. I think it was a hangover from growing up where the jobs were mill/mine/farm. All those jobs you wouldn't let someone in the house treading coal dust and soil everywhere!

True, OP could be a terrible employer. Good was only in the context of a job that the nanny thought worth applying to. There could be a couple of reasons why she could say no and that is absolutely her prerogative. In the scheme of things, asking someone to take off shoes is a minor thing to say no. And if it bothers the nanny, that is something she can clarify when discussing the job terms, salary etc.

If taking off her shoes has put off her I think you've had a lucky escape she's obviously not for you. Wearing shoes indoors is disgusting.

That wasn't the question. The poster said "There's a weird thing on mumsnet where people think asking people to take shoes off when you're a no-shoe household, is somehow odd and rude." I had hoped other people had enough understanding of other people's views and upbringing to understand that many people feel it is rude to ask a guest to remove their shoes.