To not want to ‘sit in the park’ on a second date?

[LookOverHere]

I met a chap on a dating app a few weeks ago, we met up for a drink for our first date and it was fun. He’s calm, has a good sense of humour, nice smile, good job. Both in our late 40’s. He texted me the day after to say he’d love to see me again, and since then he’s sent the occasional text, thoughtful, remembers what I’ve said. But… for the second he suggested “shall we sit in the park?”

AIBU to be disappointed with this? What does it even mean… I’m too old to be hanging out in the park! That’s where I had my teenage dates. The weather forecast also says rain. It’s not a picnic, or he’d mention it. I think it’s a low effort suggestion, a bit weird for a professional guy, and something I might do with a friend or colleague (we sometimes grab a coffee in the park). All my successful relationships all started with a romantic meal. Is this how it is these days? All views welcome…

It's been 50 years since I went on "a date", so I am slightly out of touch.

I am bemused by the suggestions that a man should try to impress the woman by flashing money. I live in a comfortable sort of neighbourhood; I have little idea of people's financial status, but I am probably one of the poorer ones.

For me, it's about compatibility, not trying to impress. I like the idea of sitting in a park, chatting, to see if we are compatible.

What a creep. Block him and move on. You deserve so much better than this.

I'm nowhere near London and we have some gorgeous parks here too with boating lakes, outdoor theatres, statue gardens, nature trails, mazes and cafes.

Don't get me wrong we also have some shit ones but I'm surprised so many posters seem to have jumped to the conclusion it will be taking place in a crappy patch of grass strewn with needles, fag ends and a group of semi drunk teens.

I'd probably take it as a sign that we something in common if he suggested a cool park with nice scenery, a food outlet/lovely picnic. I'd prefer that in the summer to a restaurant.

What time of day? Maybe he’s into dogging 😳

It is a strange suggestion, a walk in the park would be better which could lead onto coffee or lunch maybe but suggesting just sitting in the park is odd.

OP, even if you're still not sold and steer the date towards something else, please take from this range of responses that it's a perfectly normal suggestion and i hope you're not put off if you quite liked the guy.

It's not about money it's about effort. If he is truly interested he would suggest something more interesting or exciting. It's the same as putting on your best clothes for an interview, you wouldn't turn up in a t-shirt because it's so 'laid back' and 'low-key'. From his suggestion I would think he was either not very interested (or dating very often so had limited funds/ideas for dates) or a bit dull.

🙄

Fair play.

That depends on the company, doesn’t it? I know some firms where it would be far more appropriate to turn up for an Interview in a T shirt than a suit! Like dating, it’s a bit of a “know your audience” thing. He seems to have got it wrong with the OP, but it doesn’t mean it was a stupid suggestion - as can be seen from this thread, quite a lot of women would like it.

This isn't a mental suggestion. Why do people think it is? He's not suggested they go at midnight, has he? I'm honestly stumped.

Poor people are allowed to date too .

Maybe he likes fresh air, bird song, restful environment, gentle stroll and chat.

I have only made it half way through this ridiculous thread and already Im cringing for people

The rules?

No effort?

A park is ideal, agree on the day due to the weather, clarify whether going for a coffee somewhere first or after

He is probably testing you OP to see if you think its beneath you or you're too grabby and snobby for him.

I doubt he's testing her. I think he just thinks "a park walk will be nice, we can get to know each other a bit"

Park where I used to live = superb!
Few metres away from coffee/sandwiches/cake/shops/cocktails even. Bowling, golf, loos, wildlife.

Here = nature park, no takeaway coffee, no amenities. I'm not climbing lonesome hills with someone and the odd dog walker on an early date. There's one in the centre I really like though.

Sounds nice to me dependent on the park and the weather.

Jesus, I read your post completely wrong.

Yes I was a bit tongue in cheek with that bit.

And OP its only a suggestion, thats what a suggestion is, you can also suggest somewhere, or why even did you wait for him to suggest something?

The majority of women who aren't either desperate or underage would be disappointed by being incited to a park on what is one if the wettest years on record. Unless OP has missed some crucial info like it's actually an especially beautiful or special park, she is in the majority in that it wouldn't impress most women.

Some people are saying he's 'testing' her 😂 I mean what on earth, she is intending to date not qualify for Mensa.

This comes from a woman eho happily splits on a first date (as it's awkward to expect more before you even know each other). I would expect that if he was interested he'd want to do something he thinks OP would really like.

Women on dates aren't generally grabby though. Even if someone gets 'treated' to a nice meal or something else, it's invariably an awkward experience before you get to know someone. Everyone who is dating feels slightly awkward and is just trying their best. If a man approaches dating with a cynical mindset about women, he is best avoided. No wonder so many women end up with alkies/ depressives/ mentally detectives if they consider if OK for men to approach women with such a low view.

I’m neither desperate nor underage and I’d be fine with it. And I’m far from the only woman who has said that on this thread!

But then my criteria for a good date doesn’t involve “being impressed”, it involves getting to know the other person.

Maybe you should say no, and leave him for someone who does like to sit in the park. I really like to sit in the park.

What makes going out for dinner putting in more effort than the park? Other than effort = spending money which several pp’s seem to be implying, especially with the tight comments.

My first date with DH was when he took me for a meal to the nicest restaurant he knew. I was well impressed and next time we went to a very nice pub and ate in their restaurant (my treat)!

Nope.
I wouldn't be at home to that.
I bet he's tight and want his hole after a cheap/free date.