To think it's ok to holiday the summer before 11+?

[ElevenPlusOrHoliday]

DS is due to take the 11+ the second week of September. DH has been working through prep books with him since last autumn, but they still have quite a bit to get through. They haven't finished the books and still need to take practice tests.

Usually, over the summer holiday, we visit my parents in the states for a week. DS absolutely adores his grandparents and looks forward to the trip all year.

DH thinks we should cancel this year to concentrate on 11+ instead. DS will be heartbroken.

It's also true that the secondary school we think likely will best fit DS is a nearby grammar school that is usually oversubscribed, so to get in, he would need to do reasonably well on the 11+. And, the nearby non-grammar school seems like it really, really would not suit him well.

I don't know what to do. DH thinks that if I take DS on holiday, I might be ruining his future. I understand, but also think that 1.5 weeks of lost study shouldn't be that critical.

YABU = Skip holiday this year, 11+ is more important
YANBU = Take DS on holiday

Take the holiday, but set aside an hour each day to get a bit of revision?

I would go on holiday and set aside time for reading and a little revision daily.

Let him have a week off!

Working hard for the whole holiday won’t do him any good either thoigh. He needs a break. As @YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake says, you could go and still do a little work, but actually I’d take a full week off to clear his head and reset (probably best if it’s not the last week of the hols though).

Please take him on holiday. Even if you get him to do a little bit each day while away.

i teach y5/6 in a grammar area. I had one girl who wasn’t allowed a single play date all summer, let alone go on holiday, in preparation. She did pass but she would have passed without this. She had a totally miserable summer. depending on your sons personality you may get his back up and make him decide to work less hard as a result, I’ve known plenty of kids like this too!!

He def needs a break poor lad.
just make sure that he understands that it will be a reward for preparing earlier in the summer

If he needs this level of revision to get in, is this actually the best option? Children who have been heavily coached struggle when they get there.

Honestly, if he needs to work this hard to do reasonably well in the 11+, he simply isn't going to be able for a grammar.

Wow!! This is genuinely awful. Your husband doesn't think your ten your old child should even have just one week off? He's headed directly for burn out. The pressure you are applying to a child will have severe consequences down the line.

Take him on holiday.

If he's had all this prep and a week long holiday is enough to scupper his chances, he won't he able to cope at grammar school anyway.

Your husband is nuts. Go on holiday.

Take the holiday. Do a small amount of reading/practice every day you're there if you must. If every hour of study is critical to him getting a good grade then this school won't be the best fit for him at all. And he is more likely to pass (and succeed in life frankly!) if you help him find the balance between hard work and down time.

This is madness! Of course you should go on holiday and forget the books! My daughter is doing GCSEs next year and she needs a break over the summer, let alone 11+. There will always be tests or exams and breaks are just as important for development.

Go on holiday! We went away for 2 weeks before my son took the 11+. We took the books with us and just did a little bit each day to keep it fresh in his mind. My friend opted to not go on holiday so that her son could concentrate on studying and nothing else. My son passed and hers didn't. Definitely take the holiday - what will be will be and 1.5 weeks won't make much difference either way. Good luck to your son and I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

Poor wee boy, so much pressure and he’s still just a baby really.

If he needs this much support he won't hack it when he is there. Are you going to continue this level of extra tuition all the way through his schooling? What happens as an adult when he can't manage in his work role because he has been coached every step of the way.

By all means provide him with workbooks so he is familiar with the type of questions but you should really leave him to his own devices after that. Being the bottom of a very bright cohort will do far more damage than being top of a weaker cohort - he'll be invited to more events and opportunities for one and his self esteem and self confidence will be higher.

Time with grandparents is precious especially if they live overseas. I'd go on the holiday and take the books with you

If he needs this much prep, grammar might not be the best place for him

I mean this in the kindest way OP but if he needs this much prep then even if he does pass grammar might not be for him. Let him enjoy his summer and do some prep if you feel he needs it but don't make the whole summer prepping for a test that he can if he does pass doesn't guarantee that he will even get into a grammar school as the application rate is so high and they take so few kids.
Let him have a summer of fun!

If he fails and he doesn't go he's going to hate you all anyway.

Go, on the condition he does 30 mins a day at least.

and he needs a holiday and a break. Too much pressure and too much studying may have an adverse effect

This is exactly why grammar schools should be phased out. It's ridiculous that people are talking about a 10 year old life being ruined if he fails a test.

Defo go on holiday! Some prep is sensible but not at the expense of family time and shouldn't be an either or scenario

Crikey, imagine the burn out by the time he hits GCSEs and A levels! Take the week off completely. No books. He needs a break.

I can't believe that ruining your sons summer is even up for consideration.