Sister stole her flatmate’s deposit

[Huhy]

Sister just completed her final year at university in London.

Sister lived with an international student in a one bed flat - they converted living room for 2nd bedroom in Central London. They were friends and course mates prior to living together. Sister had an absolute nightmare with this flatmate but I think it is no excuse. So sister and flatmate got an email saying that only £400 of their deposit was being returned due to the state the flat was left in. Sister left the flat in March, tenancy ended in June. Sister left to come home as she was very stressed with dissertation and exams/sick of flatmate. Before she left she completely cleaned her bedroom. She agreed with flatmate to go halves on an end of tenancy clean.

Landlord came back and said the carpet in her flatmates room and her bed were ruined and therefore needed replacing. Sister texted friend saying well seeing as that is all your stuff, I think I’m entitled to the full remaining deposit. Flatmate said no, we’ll split. My sister was distraught as she took care of her room and the common areas as she knew she needed the deposit for her masters.

When I say my sister lived with a pig I am not exaggerating. Sister sent us pictures of their kitchen after she returned from Easter. The ENTIRE floor in their small kitchen had piled up bags of takeaway bags. It was shocking. Flatmate paid for a cleaner to pick up her shit. The other girl also had difficulty turning off the shower and would just leave it - causing damage to the flat below. Another time my sister picked up a towel that had been on the floor in bathroom for weeks and the other girl replied with “haha I can’t believe you touched that, that was a cum towel”. She would also routinely make my sister go with her to get the morning after pill whilst on her period - always thought she was pregnant. Trust me I know her being a nightmare does not justify theft.

Anyway sister figured out that their deposit had not been secured as she questioned the LL’s ability to unilaterally take whatever amount he wanted. The other girl was happy to walk away from the lost deposit. My sister told landlord to pay both deposits into her account as her flatmate has shut hers down. Well that was a lie.

Sister was immature and rubbed it in her flatmates face that she had her money. The flatmate has gone back to her home country (very well off). I got a message from the girl asking me to help. I’m shocked my sister acted this way, very uncharacteristic. Sister in fact has actually given the money to another friend who was struggling to pay her last month’s rent (I have seen texts and bank statements as evidence of this).

Im at a loss. Pleas tell me what to do!

Send the girl the photos of the kitchen floor and remind her of the cum towel then block her.

Your sister was right to keep the money. Hopefully next time she'll keep her mouth shut about it.

@Huhy you’re getting so stressed out and aggressive for absolutely no reason at all.

THIS IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM TO SORT OUT.

It is between your sister and her flatmate. Not you. Not your parents.

The flat mate sounds like a complete tramp but your sister is also completely awful for withholding the money. I honestly don’t know how people like this get through life.

The mind boggles.

Your sister hasn't done anything wrong!

They only got £400 back, from what was probably a deposit of over £1000. So she is out of pocket, even though she kept her room clean, and all the damage was from the flatmate.

In any case, it's nothing to do with you. But your sister is not in the wrong here. Not by a long way!!

Just block her and tell your parents it's not your problem. This all sounds not your business and very dramatic.

Team sister

OP stay out of it. You seem insistent on getting involved.

tell your parents there’s nothing you can do. They can talk to your sister- they’re quite capable.

block the flat mate

get on with your life

Your posts are perfectly clear, there is no issue with your language, people are just not reading properly. However, your final shot to sister, parents and ex flatmate needs to be ‘I’ve done what I can, she’s not listening so I expect ex flatmate will now take legal action and it’s out of my hands’ then don’t discuss it with any of them again.

I’m totally confused by the amounts returned to your sister.

Can you clarify?

I think it’s £1200 plus £400. The £400 being the flatmates? Is that right??

If it's a joint tenancy the law treats the sister and the flatmate as the same person in this regard. One tenancy, one tenant, one deposit. Squabbles between the two tenants as to who is entitled to what are considered a civil matter.

No, you don't. If your parents feel that strongly, let them talk to her.

Im “aggressive” because I make a statement and then people post “no that makes no sense because of x,y, z”. E.g the poster who said sister not wanting to sue for 3x was a lie as she is poor and could use the money from a pay out for future rent. Like wtf.

And I felt like I was being gaslight re being hard to comprehend.

Jeez

At least read the OPs posts properly. The landlord threatened to withhold the deposit but sister challenged this because he had acted illegally and the got the whole deposit back.

You are not responsible for your sister's bad behaviour even if parents want you to fix it.

Say to sister "i think you should return the deposit" if you are in the position to loan her the cash and trust her to repay that then you might offer as if she doesnt have it then she can't return it(despite being her own stupid mistake to give it away).

To parents "i wish she would return that money too. I have encouraged as best i can but unfortunately it is her decsion. Hopefully she sees sense"

To flatmate and family - just block them.

I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm honestly trying to be helpful. Your parents seem to be putting unfair pressure on you. You seem to be infantilising your sister and feeling responsible for her. Your sister seems to be acting out and making unwise choices.

You are all perhaps too involved in each other's lives. I'm not sure how old you are, op, but going off your sister's age it looks like your family is in a transition phase. Your sister is 21 and has got her undergraduate degree. You are presumably living independently by now. You are both adults now and as a result your relationship will naturally change from what it was as kids.

It can be difficult to start treating each other more as equals (I include your parents in this) and to create a new family dynamic. It is necessary to do so, however, so that no-one gets locked into the childhood roles.

OP's Sister and flatmate paid a deposit of £1200 EACH.

At the end of the tenancy the landlord offered to return £400 total.

OP's sister found the deposit wasn't in a protected scheme and threatened legal action.

The landlord agreed to return the full deposit of £2400 (2 x £1200)

OP's sister said her flatmate had closed her bank account and got the landlord to pay the full amount into her own bank account but has not given the £1200 to her ex flatmate.

But it wouldn't be 1200 pounds because the 400 was paid, right? So the sister owes her flatmate 800 pounds is how I figure it?

She got £2400 back. Only £1200 of that was hers.

This is what I'd say

But strange that CAB did suggest she go for 3X the deposit. It's very straightforward

If you’re that bothered by it all just reimburse the friend yourself and go on your merry way. This perpetual hand wringing is prolonging the drama.

It's not your problem or business to sort. Block the woman. End of.

Tell your parents they, nor do you have the power to make your sister do anything.

Personally, with the way the woman treated the place, my sympathy lies with your sister.

Tell the woman if you must, that she can issue a civil court summons in the U.K. Then block see.

Not your circus, not your monkies. Step out the arena. You don't have to attend every drama party you're invited to.

your moral obligation stops with you telling your sis what she's done id not right. Nothing else you can do
i doubt girl will sue. Too costly. And if she dies sue, it will be suing your sis si again, up to her to deal with it

Please stop taking this personally. I did understand the amounts in the end, but in the early part of the thread it was a bit confusing. And that's okay. They're are multiple threads where this happens. We don't always get it right when we first try to explain a situation.
It's not about race or second language. It's just about putting the situation down to people for the first time.

You've now explained it more clearly, but people who don't neither reading that far, will still get it wrong. It's annoying. But don't take it personally or let it distract you from the sensible advice you're being given

No the landlords offer was rejected until he agreed to pay the full amount.

The OP's sister received £2400. The flatmate has received zero.

Please tell me what to do!

You steer well clear, that's what you do, OP. This is between two adults, your sister and her flatmate, nothing to do with you. Besides, it's a problem entirely of your sister's making, when she went gloating to the flatmate. Lesson learned.

Block flatmate on everything so she stops pestering you. If your parents are so bothered, they can lend your sister the deposit money to return to her flatmate.

Your moral obligation is misplaced. Not your circus, not your monkeys, so don't get involved.

That's nice of them. Tell them it's not your responsibility, and block the ex flatmate.