Sister stole her flatmate’s deposit

[Huhy]

Sister just completed her final year at university in London.

Sister lived with an international student in a one bed flat - they converted living room for 2nd bedroom in Central London. They were friends and course mates prior to living together. Sister had an absolute nightmare with this flatmate but I think it is no excuse. So sister and flatmate got an email saying that only £400 of their deposit was being returned due to the state the flat was left in. Sister left the flat in March, tenancy ended in June. Sister left to come home as she was very stressed with dissertation and exams/sick of flatmate. Before she left she completely cleaned her bedroom. She agreed with flatmate to go halves on an end of tenancy clean.

Landlord came back and said the carpet in her flatmates room and her bed were ruined and therefore needed replacing. Sister texted friend saying well seeing as that is all your stuff, I think I’m entitled to the full remaining deposit. Flatmate said no, we’ll split. My sister was distraught as she took care of her room and the common areas as she knew she needed the deposit for her masters.

When I say my sister lived with a pig I am not exaggerating. Sister sent us pictures of their kitchen after she returned from Easter. The ENTIRE floor in their small kitchen had piled up bags of takeaway bags. It was shocking. Flatmate paid for a cleaner to pick up her shit. The other girl also had difficulty turning off the shower and would just leave it - causing damage to the flat below. Another time my sister picked up a towel that had been on the floor in bathroom for weeks and the other girl replied with “haha I can’t believe you touched that, that was a cum towel”. She would also routinely make my sister go with her to get the morning after pill whilst on her period - always thought she was pregnant. Trust me I know her being a nightmare does not justify theft.

Anyway sister figured out that their deposit had not been secured as she questioned the LL’s ability to unilaterally take whatever amount he wanted. The other girl was happy to walk away from the lost deposit. My sister told landlord to pay both deposits into her account as her flatmate has shut hers down. Well that was a lie.

Sister was immature and rubbed it in her flatmates face that she had her money. The flatmate has gone back to her home country (very well off). I got a message from the girl asking me to help. I’m shocked my sister acted this way, very uncharacteristic. Sister in fact has actually given the money to another friend who was struggling to pay her last month’s rent (I have seen texts and bank statements as evidence of this).

Im at a loss. Pleas tell me what to do!

I included these details:

1. flatmate was rich and did not care at all about pursuing deposit. Was happy to let my sister pay for her damage with my sister’s deposit
2. morning after pill - she was very dramatic. Always thinking she was pregnant even when on her period. Made sister go to boots many times for the morning after pill despite only being intimate a couple of times.

What is the timeframe OP since she’s had the deposit back?

She hasn't committed a crime, this is a civil matter.

Assume you’ve already told you sister she’s committed theft and fraud, and if the flatmate reports her to the police she’s in trouble, as the papertrail of CAB, emails and bank transactions prove she’s guilty.

If you really feel you have a moral obligation to the flatmate you could encourage them to report your sister, but that seems somewhat shitty.

What else could you do?

Why would your sister have to go to Boots for her? Having unprotected sex doesn't make you lose the use of you legs. Your sister needs to learn to say no before it gets to the point of threats of legal action from abroad.

Hoenstly I was picking up racist undertones implying I was hard to understand when no facts have changed since initial post.

There were no racist undertones because you didn't tell us English was your second language until late in this thread!

For the record I did understand the numbers involved. But as everyone has said, you have no moral obligation here. Your parents are pressurising you but there's literally nothing you can do.

Did you sister give the friend the money as a gift, or as a loan? If a loan, can she send any repayments to the flatmate?

All you can do is tell your sister that if the flatmate takes legal action she stands to lose a LOT more, so she would be wise to give her the money that she intended to use for her masters accommodation. If she refuses, you tell flatmate that you are not responsible for your sister, and block her everywhere.

Made her? How? Forcibly at gunpoint? If not, then your sister willingly involved herself.

I’d just tell this girl you’ve spoken to your sister and encouraged her to repay the money and her parents are aware, then block her

Why would you tell her this.

Just I’ve passed the messages on.

I doubt they’d sue for the small sun given the damage she left.

Back away. She’s an adult and she can sort herself out.

What she won’t be doing going forward is asking any of you for advice.

I don’t think a 21 wants to get lawyers/courts involved after she stole £1200 😂. She just wanted her deposit back and to use it as she had planned.

The morning after pill is irrelevant- you're just trying to make her look bad

Your sister should have sent half the deposit to her flatmate as it seems like she got it all back, she had no business keeping it and sending to another friend. She's basically a thief.

The most stupid thing your sister did was tell the ex flatmate she'd argued for the full depsoit back and won. If she was going to keep the money. she should have kept quiet about it. Her ego has landed her in this mess.

But she's an adult. You cannot force an adult to do anything.

Tell the ex flatmate it's nothing do with you, block them and move on.

This is only a drama if you all make it a drama.

She's stolen her flatmates deposit.

Why is the Spanish Inquisition?

Bloody hell

Not your circus man

She doesn’t need a lawyer although there is a court fee but you could use the energy taken so far on this completing that with her?

You have to step away from this. It really is nothing to do with you as your sister is an adult and responsible for her decisions.

It also isn't any of your parent's business if your sister chooses to give someone else some money. The issue is between your sister and her former flatmate and if she ignores it, that's on her.

I'm guessing you're the oldest and have been brought up by your parents to take responsibility for your sister? That's fine when you're little kids and need to hold hands crossing the road but it has to stop now she's a grown up. Your parents need to stop involving you in family disputes as it's not your problem to solve and it's not fair on either you or your sister.

You must step away from this unhealthy dynamic for your own peace of mind. If you don't, you will become part of the problem and eventually your sister will disown you. I have 3 older siblings and if any of them were acting like you, I'd go no contact with them.

Then why did she give the flatmate's deposit to someone else?

Honestly, OP.

Your sister has two choices here.

Either she pays her flatmate the money or she blocks her and hopes for the best.

If she can't pay the money back and she is worried about this coming back to bite her, the best thing she can do is talk to her flatmate and they can cooperate with each other to sue the landlord for failing to protect the deposit.

Assuming she is telling the truth about that, or any of this.

But you and your parents need to stay out of this. Your sister is an adult and will make her own choices.

"sister, your flatmate and her family are filthy rich. They can sue you to hell and back. Have you any idea how much you stand to lose if they do? It'll be a hell of a lot more then £1200. Just give her the damn money and get your friend to pay you back asap"

You don't.

Your sister has a moral obligation.

She wont be able to have ownership of her behaviour if other people constantly feel that they are morally responsible for her.

Block the crazy flatmate, let your parents know that you are not going to be involved in this or anything else to do with your sister's decisions/actions, and leave well alone!

Your parents are her parents.

If they want her to do something then it's up to them to ask her to do it.

This

Well what your sister should have done was rightfully claim 3 x the deposits, as the landlord didn't put them in a scheme.
He's got away with only returning the full amount, when legally she could have made him pay triple!

Then she could have sent flatmate £1200, given friend £1200 and kept £4800. Oh well - hindsight is a wonderful thing...

Now though, keep out of it. She's a grown woman. Her circus, her monkeys.

I think that sounds sensible. I can't imagine a court awarding any money to just be paid into your sister's account. It's likely pursuit of further money would uncover her deception about the original deposit and then she would be in trouble.

umm no, just through emotional blackmail ie crying when sister was revising

On the basis of the information available it's fraud by false representation, because she dishonestly lied to the landlord about her flatmate's account being closed in order to make a gain.

That carries a maximum 10 year prison sentence.

OP, I agree with everyone who says you shouldn't engage with the flatmate (not least because your messages to her could be used as evidence against your sister) but, in your shoes, I would be strongly advising that she return the money.