Sister stole her flatmate’s deposit

[Huhy]

Sister just completed her final year at university in London.

Sister lived with an international student in a one bed flat - they converted living room for 2nd bedroom in Central London. They were friends and course mates prior to living together. Sister had an absolute nightmare with this flatmate but I think it is no excuse. So sister and flatmate got an email saying that only £400 of their deposit was being returned due to the state the flat was left in. Sister left the flat in March, tenancy ended in June. Sister left to come home as she was very stressed with dissertation and exams/sick of flatmate. Before she left she completely cleaned her bedroom. She agreed with flatmate to go halves on an end of tenancy clean.

Landlord came back and said the carpet in her flatmates room and her bed were ruined and therefore needed replacing. Sister texted friend saying well seeing as that is all your stuff, I think I’m entitled to the full remaining deposit. Flatmate said no, we’ll split. My sister was distraught as she took care of her room and the common areas as she knew she needed the deposit for her masters.

When I say my sister lived with a pig I am not exaggerating. Sister sent us pictures of their kitchen after she returned from Easter. The ENTIRE floor in their small kitchen had piled up bags of takeaway bags. It was shocking. Flatmate paid for a cleaner to pick up her shit. The other girl also had difficulty turning off the shower and would just leave it - causing damage to the flat below. Another time my sister picked up a towel that had been on the floor in bathroom for weeks and the other girl replied with “haha I can’t believe you touched that, that was a cum towel”. She would also routinely make my sister go with her to get the morning after pill whilst on her period - always thought she was pregnant. Trust me I know her being a nightmare does not justify theft.

Anyway sister figured out that their deposit had not been secured as she questioned the LL’s ability to unilaterally take whatever amount he wanted. The other girl was happy to walk away from the lost deposit. My sister told landlord to pay both deposits into her account as her flatmate has shut hers down. Well that was a lie.

Sister was immature and rubbed it in her flatmates face that she had her money. The flatmate has gone back to her home country (very well off). I got a message from the girl asking me to help. I’m shocked my sister acted this way, very uncharacteristic. Sister in fact has actually given the money to another friend who was struggling to pay her last month’s rent (I have seen texts and bank statements as evidence of this).

Im at a loss. Pleas tell me what to do!

Wrong pity party! I came here at 18 to attend uni, and managed to handle myself perfectly well despite having the English accent in the world that cops the most "acceptable" (no such thing btw) mockery/racism in media and across the world (hint: not a European accent by any means).

I understand there's no point comparing racism but I was a complete foreigner in the UK. The actual foreigner / international student, your sister's flatmate, looks to be handling things by herself too.

It was stressful and painful but I learnt. If my parents helped me, it was through advice and support and then stepping back. Hovering anymore gets a little helicopter parent imo – you do see that on MN sometimes but it's not very healthy.

Also please please don't pretend your sister can't speak English after a 3 year uni degree conducted in English lol. Putting aside the fact that she probably attended school here before that too.

Yes maybe you're being protective, or maybe you just want an excuse to get a little bolshy, but you have to let your 21 year old sister be at some point. When she gets her first job within months, are you (or your parents) going to take things up with her boss and colleague??

God you love to be in the middle of a drama, don’t you? None of this is even vaguely anything to do with you. Block, move on, stop wasting valuable energy on other people’s stuff.

So. She has half the money, she took it. How has that got anything to do with you?

I got a message from the girl asking me to help. tell her it's nothing to do with you

Sorry she has given the flatmate’s half to help with the rent of another friend. Sister kept her haf as she needed it for her masters.

OK, so you block the girl on all forms of communication.

Your sister sends her an email saying, "Look, fuckface, I very nearly lost my deposit because you trashed our flat and I needed that money for my master's. Please see attached all the photo evidence of you treating the place like a pigsty. If you've got any self respect whatsoever you probably don't want me posting these photos on social media or sending them to your parents, friends, boyfriend or employer because no normal person would want everyone to know they live like a pig in shit. You were willing to walk away from your deposit after all the damage you caused because this money is peanuts to you. So fuck the fuck off and don't contact me again. You have no legal case against me here and if you try anything I will counter-sue you for the damage you caused plus my costs of dealing with your mess."

Then block.

Umm I don’t enjoy this. My parents are really worried of criminal consequences. I’m trying to help my parents!

Can’t believe how rude some people are being to me. What person would want to deal with this out of choice?

Ok so rest assured flatmates disagree about deposits all the time, sometimes people do unsavoury things re: deposit disagreements, she's not going to sue your sister for £200 especially if she's in her home country. There is no small claims court of international arbitration – these deal with massive sums of money.

It’s nothing to do with you so just block this girl and move on.

She sounds a lowlife anyway with no morals so in a way it’s karma

Block her and do t get involved

Yiu can't make her give the money back but I'd tell your DSis that a CCJ on her record might get in the way later. If she wants to be a professional then ut helps to have a clean credit record

It’s a big fuss over £200 for a rich student to make.

Sounds like a dispute over the rightful beneficiary of the remaining deposit and your sister’s view is that she is £800 out of pocket due to her flatmate’s negligence. Her flatmate thinks the list deposit of £2,000 should be borne equally. Ignoring the lying bit, as I’m not sure that’s wholly relevant (she could equally have said ‘flatmate did the damage, so I’m keeping the remaining deposit’ and succeeded in getting it) this is not theft. It is a financial dispute without a clear cut answer. I’d say to flatmate that you have spoken to your sister, you understand there is disagreement over who should have received the money and you have asked her to pay the flatmate half out of good will. That’s all you can do and any further contact will be treated as harassment.

Honestly, your parents are right. Your sister is being quite foolish here. But your sister doesn't want to know and doesn't care.
So as everyone keeps saying, block the girl on everything. Then if you are really wanting to get involved then speak to your sister and ask her to speak to the ex flatmate and sort it out directly.

I also thought it was only £200 she owed. Even so, You can’t make your sister give it back anyway. She is a grown adult. I think she was stupid to give rent money to another friend but let them all get on with it. Still nothing to do with you.

Sister got back both deposits which was £1200 or £1400 each. I’m getting confused.

This has more holes than a sieve.

You have no obligation to do anything.

It's absolutely nothing to do with you.

Block the girl and her family and if your parents want you to interfere then say no.

You came on hherefor advice. Literally everyone is saying don't get involved.
And now you're cross with people for saying this!

Block the filthy flatmate, tell everyone else it’s not your problem and you want nothing to do with it. You’re not a child to be told what to do by your parents and neither is your sister. She has behaved shabbily but it’s not your responsibility.

Hardly. No offence but some people are making this far more complicated. I think I made it pretty simple to understand in my early post.

i should have quoted the person who implied I am making this up.

So sister and flatmate got an email saying that only £400 of their deposit was being returned this has confused matters.

Please could you provide figures - what was the deposit. How much deposit was returned?

And the advice we’ve all given is also simple to understand- block & move on.

I'd stay out of it. Your sister was stupid to tell the girl, she had her deposit money. What did she think would happen?! Block the girl from your social media, same for your parents. She will eventually stop, just ignore and don't comment.

This is such a weird thread. Despite multiple posts trying to justify sticking her nose in, I just cannot see why the OP is getting involved in her sister’s business.